Discussion Forum > Living in PULL mode: Are the risks worth it?
avrum:
<< How long can you leave a baby crying, taxes unpaid, etc., etc., before a punishment pushes you into PULL (or perhaps push?) >>
If your motivation is punishment then it's not Pull Mode!
I said in a recent post that I had got everything done that I would have with AV/SF, plus I've started several new initiatives. There is really no reason to suppose that, once you've got into Pull Mode, it will be any less reliable than any other way of working. After all it's not as if deadlines never get missed using Push Mode!
The mode that will definitely risk babies being left crying and taxes being left unpaid is Drift Mode. My experience has been that Drift Mode reduces as Pull Mode increases. On the other hand, if one is relying on Push Mode one is always in danger of getting fed up with pushing oneself, and then the natural reaction is to fall into Drift Mode.
<< How long can you leave a baby crying, taxes unpaid, etc., etc., before a punishment pushes you into PULL (or perhaps push?) >>
If your motivation is punishment then it's not Pull Mode!
I said in a recent post that I had got everything done that I would have with AV/SF, plus I've started several new initiatives. There is really no reason to suppose that, once you've got into Pull Mode, it will be any less reliable than any other way of working. After all it's not as if deadlines never get missed using Push Mode!
The mode that will definitely risk babies being left crying and taxes being left unpaid is Drift Mode. My experience has been that Drift Mode reduces as Pull Mode increases. On the other hand, if one is relying on Push Mode one is always in danger of getting fed up with pushing oneself, and then the natural reaction is to fall into Drift Mode.
June 4, 2011 at 17:51 |
Mark Forster
Mark Forster
<<After all it's not as if deadlines never get missed using Push Mode!>>
100% true.
<<The mode that will definitely risk babies being left crying and taxes being left unpaid is Drift Mode>>
Yes, this I know well.
<<Drift Mode reduces as Pull Mode increases>>
An idea that immediately appealed to me. However life still goes on as one's future self/vision is modified, strengthened, etc. In the meantime, you have suggested i.e. your recent article, that you would not rely on PUSH mode to get things done. Can you give a concrete example where you did NOT act, and suffered the consequences of doing so. For example, say your wife asks you do pick up groceries, yet you don't feel the PULL to do so. Would you employ PUSH i.e. guilt, or not fulfill the request, incurring the anger of your wife?
100% true.
<<The mode that will definitely risk babies being left crying and taxes being left unpaid is Drift Mode>>
Yes, this I know well.
<<Drift Mode reduces as Pull Mode increases>>
An idea that immediately appealed to me. However life still goes on as one's future self/vision is modified, strengthened, etc. In the meantime, you have suggested i.e. your recent article, that you would not rely on PUSH mode to get things done. Can you give a concrete example where you did NOT act, and suffered the consequences of doing so. For example, say your wife asks you do pick up groceries, yet you don't feel the PULL to do so. Would you employ PUSH i.e. guilt, or not fulfill the request, incurring the anger of your wife?
June 4, 2011 at 18:23 |
avrum
avrum
avrum:
I think you're trying to get my to give a definite answer to something that isn't definite. Many times in my coaching career I had to encourage people who worked at home to set strong boundaries with their family members that just because they worked at home did not mean that they were the one who dealt with all the home type emergences. This was particularly so when the one working at home was earning more than the one working away from home (which for many years was the case with my wife and myself).
So my answer is that in this type of situation your best guide is your feelings.
I think you're trying to get my to give a definite answer to something that isn't definite. Many times in my coaching career I had to encourage people who worked at home to set strong boundaries with their family members that just because they worked at home did not mean that they were the one who dealt with all the home type emergences. This was particularly so when the one working at home was earning more than the one working away from home (which for many years was the case with my wife and myself).
So my answer is that in this type of situation your best guide is your feelings.
June 4, 2011 at 18:34 |
Mark Forster
Mark Forster
I don't think you got the question rightly Mark. As I understand it, the question is:
Pull doesn't seem to cover everything that needs to be done. If this is so, what covers the remainder?
Pull doesn't seem to cover everything that needs to be done. If this is so, what covers the remainder?
June 5, 2011 at 1:16 |
Alan Baljeu
Alan Baljeu
avrum:
Your posts on this and other matters indicates that you think a lot about an issue before fully committing to the action. Have I misinterpreted?
I ask because it might be more valuable for you to commit to PULL mode for, say, a day or so, and then post your reactions, consequences, etc. I'm not sure what we gain from supposing what might or might not happen in a hypothetical situation, when a decently controlled experiment might give us more usable information. In most of our lives, there are likely very few serious consequences (ie, blood on the floor and on the ceiling) if we forget to do something.
I often had this trouble when setting up filing systems or other workflows. I insisted they had to address 100% of all possible situations and exceptions before I could implement them, when in fact a simpler system that addressed what usually happened (about 85% of the cases) worked fine, and I only needed to add exceptions as they arose.
My apologies if I've misinterpreted the intent of your posts.
Your posts on this and other matters indicates that you think a lot about an issue before fully committing to the action. Have I misinterpreted?
I ask because it might be more valuable for you to commit to PULL mode for, say, a day or so, and then post your reactions, consequences, etc. I'm not sure what we gain from supposing what might or might not happen in a hypothetical situation, when a decently controlled experiment might give us more usable information. In most of our lives, there are likely very few serious consequences (ie, blood on the floor and on the ceiling) if we forget to do something.
I often had this trouble when setting up filing systems or other workflows. I insisted they had to address 100% of all possible situations and exceptions before I could implement them, when in fact a simpler system that addressed what usually happened (about 85% of the cases) worked fine, and I only needed to add exceptions as they arose.
My apologies if I've misinterpreted the intent of your posts.
June 5, 2011 at 1:47 |
Mike Brown
Mike Brown
Alan:
<<As I understand it, the question is: Pull doesn't seem to cover everything that needs to be done. If this is so, what covers the remainder?>>
Yes, that's what I'm asking. However, the question remains (as stated by Mike Brown): What WOULD happen if we lived our lives according to a strong vision, and hence PULL?
<<As I understand it, the question is: Pull doesn't seem to cover everything that needs to be done. If this is so, what covers the remainder?>>
Yes, that's what I'm asking. However, the question remains (as stated by Mike Brown): What WOULD happen if we lived our lives according to a strong vision, and hence PULL?
June 5, 2011 at 2:08 |
avrum
avrum
Alan/Avrum:
<< I don't think you got the question rightly Mark. >>
Yes, I did.
My answer was that in circumstances where Pull doesn't appear to be producing the result you think you want, there are usually good reasons for it. In the example you gave, not picking up the groceries for your wife might be because you needed to put down stronger boundaries about work v. home. Since you are using your feelings as a guide, mismatches like this are more likely to come to the surface.
Alternatively the problem might be that you haven't written your Future Reality so it covers all areas of your life, at least implicitly. If your wife isn't part of your Future Reality, then that is a message in itself.
As the Dreams book says, when you are feeling strong resistance to something you should ask what message your mind is trying to give you.
<< I don't think you got the question rightly Mark. >>
Yes, I did.
My answer was that in circumstances where Pull doesn't appear to be producing the result you think you want, there are usually good reasons for it. In the example you gave, not picking up the groceries for your wife might be because you needed to put down stronger boundaries about work v. home. Since you are using your feelings as a guide, mismatches like this are more likely to come to the surface.
Alternatively the problem might be that you haven't written your Future Reality so it covers all areas of your life, at least implicitly. If your wife isn't part of your Future Reality, then that is a message in itself.
As the Dreams book says, when you are feeling strong resistance to something you should ask what message your mind is trying to give you.
June 5, 2011 at 8:41 |
Mark Forster
Mark Forster
Mark:
<<As the Dreams book says, when you are feeling strong resistance to something you should ask what message your mind is trying to give you. >>
Brilliant! These forums, and your responses, remind me of things I forgot during my 1st, and now 2nd, reading of Dreams.
<<As the Dreams book says, when you are feeling strong resistance to something you should ask what message your mind is trying to give you. >>
Brilliant! These forums, and your responses, remind me of things I forgot during my 1st, and now 2nd, reading of Dreams.
June 5, 2011 at 16:33 |
avrum
avrum
Some of you might say: "So mix 'em up". But I think Mark's overall point is that there's power in sticking with PULL. The consequence for NOT engaging in PUSH activity might lead to increased dissonance between present self/future self. The friction will help clarify vision, and increase PULL motivation, creating Flow-like states, and momentum towards things you really, really want to do.
But how about the minutiae of a job, parent or general living. How far does one need to go with PULL for it be effective? How long can you leave a baby crying, taxes unpaid, etc., etc., before a punishment pushes you into PULL (or perhaps push?)
I'd love to hear your thoughts on this matter.