Discussion Forum > How to plan your life
"Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and he will establish your plans."
I think you raise an important point about whether goals come from our ego-cravings or the desire to express our spiritual qualities of consciousness. For me the answer has been about a negotiation between my ego and my spirit - a blending and balancing process.
In a sense all goals just exist to make us feel good, and it's the quality of being we create via the doing that is the real aim. Circumstances and goals serve as a reference point for self-expression: "Who am I in relation to my life?"
Perhaps put another way this would be what inner goals am I motivated by, rather than outer. Or in Mark's language: "What do I seek from life now?" How about giving 10 answers to that each day for a week? (After a prayer? ;-)
I think you raise an important point about whether goals come from our ego-cravings or the desire to express our spiritual qualities of consciousness. For me the answer has been about a negotiation between my ego and my spirit - a blending and balancing process.
In a sense all goals just exist to make us feel good, and it's the quality of being we create via the doing that is the real aim. Circumstances and goals serve as a reference point for self-expression: "Who am I in relation to my life?"
Perhaps put another way this would be what inner goals am I motivated by, rather than outer. Or in Mark's language: "What do I seek from life now?" How about giving 10 answers to that each day for a week? (After a prayer? ;-)
July 30, 2011 at 11:04 |
michael
michael
July 30, 2011 at 16:38 |
Mark Forster
Mark Forster
10x write "Something I really want out of my life is ________"
Repeat daily for a week, and weekly for a while.
Okay that evidently will get me a strong list of things I really want out of my life.
Looking ahead, is there any followup steps?
Repeat daily for a week, and weekly for a while.
Okay that evidently will get me a strong list of things I really want out of my life.
Looking ahead, is there any followup steps?
July 30, 2011 at 17:46 |
Alan Baljeu
Alan Baljeu
I'd say the goal achievement method from http://www.markforster.net/blog/2011/1/29/how-to-make-your-dreams-come-true.html
That's the path I followed.
That's the path I followed.
July 30, 2011 at 18:29 |
Ryan Freckleton
Ryan Freckleton
Ryan Freckleton wrote:
<<I'd say the goal achievement method from http://www.markforster.net/blog/2011/1/29/how-to-make-your-dreams-come-true.html
That's the path I followed.>>
I second that.
<<I'd say the goal achievement method from http://www.markforster.net/blog/2011/1/29/how-to-make-your-dreams-come-true.html
That's the path I followed.>>
I second that.
July 30, 2011 at 20:18 |
Bernie
Bernie
I third it. I found I adjusted the process to suit my taste but the essence of the approach is eternal:
A Vision,
Changes that prepare and allow for the vision (becoming aligned),
acceptance and acknowledgement of the current experience (facts and feelings and attitudes).
Most of the process is done by the super-conscious, non-rational mind so isn't amenable to planning in the usual sense.
A Vision,
Changes that prepare and allow for the vision (becoming aligned),
acceptance and acknowledgement of the current experience (facts and feelings and attitudes).
Most of the process is done by the super-conscious, non-rational mind so isn't amenable to planning in the usual sense.
July 30, 2011 at 22:22 |
michael
michael
Alan:
<< 10x write "Something I really want out of my life is ________" >>
You don't have to write all that out each time. All you have to do is to write the completions, e.g.
Get a gold at the 2012 Olympics
Become dictator of the world
Sing at the Metropolitan Opera
Get the crack in my window repaired
etc.
<< 10x write "Something I really want out of my life is ________" >>
You don't have to write all that out each time. All you have to do is to write the completions, e.g.
Get a gold at the 2012 Olympics
Become dictator of the world
Sing at the Metropolitan Opera
Get the crack in my window repaired
etc.
July 30, 2011 at 22:44 |
Mark Forster
Mark Forster
Attempting to summarize the goal achievement method:
1-4: figure out what you Really want
5: figure out where you are now
6: define a goal based on the above, with feeling
I gather you start small then get bigger with success.
What I don't get is it seems to be all about defining and none about achieving other than one paragraph which says think about 1 thing you can do to make one thing better.
Is this correct?
1-4: figure out what you Really want
5: figure out where you are now
6: define a goal based on the above, with feeling
I gather you start small then get bigger with success.
What I don't get is it seems to be all about defining and none about achieving other than one paragraph which says think about 1 thing you can do to make one thing better.
Is this correct?
July 30, 2011 at 23:33 |
Alan Baljeu
Alan Baljeu
funny, as just this week I found a new site from Seth Godin
the domino project
& on there found he is republishing a book by Zig Ziglar
I'd heard that name, (great branding, how could one forget)
so looked around to find more about Zig's
Performance Planner & Goal Planning
I'm not advocating getting content for free or try to take away from markforster.net but if interested, there is enough sample/free material to get a sense of what this is about
http://www.ziglar.com/downloads/pplanner_3-6.pdf
and you can get a sample read of Seth's version, with the goals AND worksheet in "Click to LOOK INSIDE!" on the book on Amazon
just another take, all seems very similar to what is discussed here
the domino project
& on there found he is republishing a book by Zig Ziglar
I'd heard that name, (great branding, how could one forget)
so looked around to find more about Zig's
Performance Planner & Goal Planning
I'm not advocating getting content for free or try to take away from markforster.net but if interested, there is enough sample/free material to get a sense of what this is about
http://www.ziglar.com/downloads/pplanner_3-6.pdf
and you can get a sample read of Seth's version, with the goals AND worksheet in "Click to LOOK INSIDE!" on the book on Amazon
just another take, all seems very similar to what is discussed here
July 31, 2011 at 1:22 |
matthewS
matthewS
Matthew:
I've always enjoyed Zig. Thanks for this.
Alan:
<<What I don't get is it seems to be all about defining and none about achieving>>
To date, I struggle with the THEORY behind Dreams i.e. allowing your vision, unconscious to Pull you towards right action, and the PRACTICE of dreams. I don't think this is the fault of the material, but the process i.e. doing it yourself. If you're interested, I would be willing to work through the Dreams material with you.
I've always enjoyed Zig. Thanks for this.
Alan:
<<What I don't get is it seems to be all about defining and none about achieving>>
To date, I struggle with the THEORY behind Dreams i.e. allowing your vision, unconscious to Pull you towards right action, and the PRACTICE of dreams. I don't think this is the fault of the material, but the process i.e. doing it yourself. If you're interested, I would be willing to work through the Dreams material with you.
July 31, 2011 at 2:39 |
avrum
avrum
avrum:
How much do you need to accept the theory first? Does it really matter? It is founded on brain science in Mark's approach, but can be approached other ways. How about experimenting with it for say 2 weeks and posting your experiences?
How much do you need to accept the theory first? Does it really matter? It is founded on brain science in Mark's approach, but can be approached other ways. How about experimenting with it for say 2 weeks and posting your experiences?
July 31, 2011 at 11:20 |
michael
michael
Ziggy's method of identifying goals is very similar to Mark's. But then steps 7-8 to refer to some general goals procedure and apparently his charts and instructions on achieving the defined goals cover pages from 7 to 15. That's what I feel is missing from Mark's book.
But really I'm just trying to understand. Did I overlook something? Or is the doing part, according to Mark, just supposed to be natural, needing no instruction? If so, could someone describe in practice how it works out?
But really I'm just trying to understand. Did I overlook something? Or is the doing part, according to Mark, just supposed to be natural, needing no instruction? If so, could someone describe in practice how it works out?
July 31, 2011 at 13:34 |
Alan Baljeu
Alan Baljeu
Alan: I also struggle with the action part. My current understanding is that because the goal is strongly desired and has heartfelt passion attached to it our unconscious will organise the energy, attention and timing to inspire us with inner urges over when and what to do, eliminating unproductive and inefficient activities. I believe this is what lies behined the dismissal process. This is somewhat different to the aggressive drivenness and macho approach common in achieveing goals that it requires a new attitude and orientation. These are all skills and attitudes that take time to become natural.
July 31, 2011 at 15:03 |
michael
michael
Michael:
<<How much do you need to accept the theory first?>>
I find it helps. Marks use of intuition and unconscious bodes well for my professional interest in psychoanalysis/psychodynamic psychotherapy and artistic activity.
<<How about experimenting with it for say 2 weeks and posting your experiences?>.
I have been working with Dream for appx 2 months. Like all productivity systems, the first week a.k.a. honeymoon period, was full of hope, excitement, etc., In a short time, I found the self-coaching frustrating and unhelpful. My future vision grew stale... though I stuck to the present reality updates in the evening (I still do that).
Perhaps my largest concern is a very small drop in drift-like activity since starting Dreams.
PLEASE NOTE: I don't think this has anything to do with the principles behind the program. I simply think that, without real accountability (see Barn-raising by Barbara Sher), all systems, for most people, will eventually give way to old habits.
<<How much do you need to accept the theory first?>>
I find it helps. Marks use of intuition and unconscious bodes well for my professional interest in psychoanalysis/psychodynamic psychotherapy and artistic activity.
<<How about experimenting with it for say 2 weeks and posting your experiences?>.
I have been working with Dream for appx 2 months. Like all productivity systems, the first week a.k.a. honeymoon period, was full of hope, excitement, etc., In a short time, I found the self-coaching frustrating and unhelpful. My future vision grew stale... though I stuck to the present reality updates in the evening (I still do that).
Perhaps my largest concern is a very small drop in drift-like activity since starting Dreams.
PLEASE NOTE: I don't think this has anything to do with the principles behind the program. I simply think that, without real accountability (see Barn-raising by Barbara Sher), all systems, for most people, will eventually give way to old habits.
July 31, 2011 at 15:18 |
avrum
avrum
One last thing... as Mark updated/improved the Dreams process (via this website), I started to doubt the foundational aspects of the program. My understanding was that Mark was working on a revised Dreams process. I look forward to that.
July 31, 2011 at 15:52 |
avrum
avrum
Isn't the Barn-raising relying on what you ought to be doing as a motivation, or guilt, or responding to the expectations of others? Seems a little like self-punishment.
July 31, 2011 at 15:52 |
michael
michael
I thought a resume of Mark's suggestions for staying in Pull Mode might be useful:
In Drift Mode you typically feel frustrated, aimless, sometimes bored as well. You don’t feel good. Try a question like “How Good Do I Feel?”
Drift Mode brings resistance. So maybe “What am I resisting?” would work too.
Maybe identifying those "negative" emotions directly. One solution might simply be to accept feelings: “It’s fine that I’m feeling frustrated/aimless/bored. I’ll let it lift when it feels like doing so”
Marks says the best question is "Is this what I want to be doing?" "You should NOT try to answer the question. Just asking it will subconsciously influence your mind to bring you back into Pull Mode."
"Doing what you feel like doing doesn't necessarily mean not having any lists. If you feel like making a list or feel one is necessary, then make it!"
In Drift Mode you typically feel frustrated, aimless, sometimes bored as well. You don’t feel good. Try a question like “How Good Do I Feel?”
Drift Mode brings resistance. So maybe “What am I resisting?” would work too.
Maybe identifying those "negative" emotions directly. One solution might simply be to accept feelings: “It’s fine that I’m feeling frustrated/aimless/bored. I’ll let it lift when it feels like doing so”
Marks says the best question is "Is this what I want to be doing?" "You should NOT try to answer the question. Just asking it will subconsciously influence your mind to bring you back into Pull Mode."
"Doing what you feel like doing doesn't necessarily mean not having any lists. If you feel like making a list or feel one is necessary, then make it!"
July 31, 2011 at 15:53 |
michael
michael
Michael:
<<Isn't the Barn-raising... seems a little like self-punishment>>
Nothing of the sort. The concept is simple: People helping people. A few years ago I met (weekly) with a fellow Barbara Sher fan to work on our flowcharts, goals, frustrations, etc. The simple act of showing up had a huge impact on my ability to reach my goal (opening a small music composition company).
I've been unable to replicate this arrangement in Toronto. My friends seem to fall into two camps:
1. I'm doing fine without all this goal-setting, gtd'ing etc.,
2. My life's a mess and I don't see how a list will help
I'm still searching...
<< Drift Mode you typically feel frustrated, aimless, sometimes bored as well. You don’t feel good. Try a question like “How Good Do I Feel?”>>
This simply isn't the case for me. Drift can feel great. The problem is, like a chocolate sundae, how do you feel after?
<<Drift Mode brings resistance. So maybe “What am I resisting?” would work too.>>
I would disagree. Resistance - that subtle energy which S. Pressfield is making a nice living off of - nourishes drift.
<<It’s fine that I’m feeling frustrated/aimless/bored. I’ll let it lift when it feels like doing so>>
Mark suggests this, but I had trouble making this work. The fact is, my baby needs my attention regardless of push/pull energy. Where Mark's ideas might be helpful is: Are your systems... your day... arranged to increase PULL? I think that would be worth exploring.
<<"Is this what I want to be doing?" "You should NOT try to answer the question>>
Yup - i've been doing this with a lovely little iphone app. Again, for me, the idea held more promise than the reality. I'm thinking of doing exactly the opposite... answering the question. Need to give this more thought.
As an aside - a great thread on davidco about the challenges of doing GTD:
http://www.davidco.com/forum/showthread.php?5344-What-s-Everyone-s-Profession-Part-II-What-s-Everyone-s-Biggest-Challenge/page5
<<Isn't the Barn-raising... seems a little like self-punishment>>
Nothing of the sort. The concept is simple: People helping people. A few years ago I met (weekly) with a fellow Barbara Sher fan to work on our flowcharts, goals, frustrations, etc. The simple act of showing up had a huge impact on my ability to reach my goal (opening a small music composition company).
I've been unable to replicate this arrangement in Toronto. My friends seem to fall into two camps:
1. I'm doing fine without all this goal-setting, gtd'ing etc.,
2. My life's a mess and I don't see how a list will help
I'm still searching...
<< Drift Mode you typically feel frustrated, aimless, sometimes bored as well. You don’t feel good. Try a question like “How Good Do I Feel?”>>
This simply isn't the case for me. Drift can feel great. The problem is, like a chocolate sundae, how do you feel after?
<<Drift Mode brings resistance. So maybe “What am I resisting?” would work too.>>
I would disagree. Resistance - that subtle energy which S. Pressfield is making a nice living off of - nourishes drift.
<<It’s fine that I’m feeling frustrated/aimless/bored. I’ll let it lift when it feels like doing so>>
Mark suggests this, but I had trouble making this work. The fact is, my baby needs my attention regardless of push/pull energy. Where Mark's ideas might be helpful is: Are your systems... your day... arranged to increase PULL? I think that would be worth exploring.
<<"Is this what I want to be doing?" "You should NOT try to answer the question>>
Yup - i've been doing this with a lovely little iphone app. Again, for me, the idea held more promise than the reality. I'm thinking of doing exactly the opposite... answering the question. Need to give this more thought.
As an aside - a great thread on davidco about the challenges of doing GTD:
http://www.davidco.com/forum/showthread.php?5344-What-s-Everyone-s-Profession-Part-II-What-s-Everyone-s-Biggest-Challenge/page5
July 31, 2011 at 16:44 |
avrum
avrum
"Isn't the Barn-raising relying on what you ought to be doing as a motivation, or guilt, or responding to the expectations of others? Seems a little like self-punishment."
I think you have this entirely wrong. It's more like this:
You really want a barn. So you think and plot and prepare and get psyched up to build a barn. You get started. It's hard. You start doubting yourself. Nobody around you cares. Maybe a barn isn't your thing. Barbara Sher says, go back to square 1. Then, instead of doing it all yourself, talk to friends and family about your excitement in having a barn. Find people who care about you to share your enthusiasm. Get them to be your cheerleaders for barn-building may not be your passion, but having a barn is. The community makes the process better.
I think you have this entirely wrong. It's more like this:
You really want a barn. So you think and plot and prepare and get psyched up to build a barn. You get started. It's hard. You start doubting yourself. Nobody around you cares. Maybe a barn isn't your thing. Barbara Sher says, go back to square 1. Then, instead of doing it all yourself, talk to friends and family about your excitement in having a barn. Find people who care about you to share your enthusiasm. Get them to be your cheerleaders for barn-building may not be your passion, but having a barn is. The community makes the process better.
July 31, 2011 at 16:46 |
Alan Baljeu
Alan Baljeu
I have in mind this process:
Review your present situation, future vision.
Pick something you want and feel ready to adjust in your present situation.
Set aside time to map out a path from here to there.
Pick something on the map as your next target.
Produce tasks and or habits to develop to reach that goal.
As you progress (over weeks) reevaluate all of:
Your vision, your situation, your map (changes in what you see should change your plan), your goal choice, and your tasks.
Review your present situation, future vision.
Pick something you want and feel ready to adjust in your present situation.
Set aside time to map out a path from here to there.
Pick something on the map as your next target.
Produce tasks and or habits to develop to reach that goal.
As you progress (over weeks) reevaluate all of:
Your vision, your situation, your map (changes in what you see should change your plan), your goal choice, and your tasks.
July 31, 2011 at 17:02 |
Alan Baljeu
Alan Baljeu
<<The community makes the process better. >>
Absolutely. And while I get so much out of this (online) community, there's no replacement for face to face support.
Absolutely. And while I get so much out of this (online) community, there's no replacement for face to face support.
July 31, 2011 at 17:25 |
avrum
avrum
I think my biggest problem in 'planning my life' is that I've never been someone who particularly plans where they want to be n years down the line. Some people allegedly wake up one morning at age 7 and shout 'I want to be a fireman'. I've never been like that - My goals are much more modest.
From a work viewpoint I might still be running a bookshop (a job I fell into by accident in my early 20s) if my partner hadn't prodded me into doing something with my interest in (and facility with) computers. Fast forward 20 years and I've done the whole IT person lifecycle from trainee programmer to senior developer, through to what I do now which is more senior, more analytical and requirements based. This has caused issues in the past when working for managers who 'live to work' rather than my 'work to live' approach.
Even in my personal life I tend to just want a quiet life, but I'm aware that in order to have a well ordered, quiet life there are many details which need to be taken care of; I don't try to look very far ahead rather just dealing with things as they come up. Aside from anything else, experience has taught me that making detailed long-term plans is of limited usefulness given the nature of life.
So I suppose one could describe my life so far as being in Drift mode at a higher level - Meta-Drift mode if you will! Is this any less valid as a way of operating? There are schools of philosophy which emphasise living in the moment. I don't live in drift mode when dealing with the minutiae and the larger tasks, but in terms of knowing or planning where I want to be 5 years, 10 years or so from now... not so much.
From a work viewpoint I might still be running a bookshop (a job I fell into by accident in my early 20s) if my partner hadn't prodded me into doing something with my interest in (and facility with) computers. Fast forward 20 years and I've done the whole IT person lifecycle from trainee programmer to senior developer, through to what I do now which is more senior, more analytical and requirements based. This has caused issues in the past when working for managers who 'live to work' rather than my 'work to live' approach.
Even in my personal life I tend to just want a quiet life, but I'm aware that in order to have a well ordered, quiet life there are many details which need to be taken care of; I don't try to look very far ahead rather just dealing with things as they come up. Aside from anything else, experience has taught me that making detailed long-term plans is of limited usefulness given the nature of life.
So I suppose one could describe my life so far as being in Drift mode at a higher level - Meta-Drift mode if you will! Is this any less valid as a way of operating? There are schools of philosophy which emphasise living in the moment. I don't live in drift mode when dealing with the minutiae and the larger tasks, but in terms of knowing or planning where I want to be 5 years, 10 years or so from now... not so much.
July 31, 2011 at 19:34 |
Paul Taylor
Paul Taylor
paul: thanks for the honesty in that. I agree with living in the moment otherwise we scatter our energies, but we also need a vision in my view - just don't obsess about it. Living in the moment allows the unconscious more space to operate in my view. It's about where we put our attention and surrendering. As for goals, I sometimes wonder about them: Mark says they can be a burden, especially if imposed or expected, but if they are heartfelt for oneself..
Desires for things can also create lot of frustration if they don't seem to come.
Desires for things can also create lot of frustration if they don't seem to come.
July 31, 2011 at 19:52 |
michael
michael
<<So I suppose one could describe my life so far as being in Drift mode>
In describing the threshold for pornography, Justice Potter Stewart stated: "I know it when I see it".
I think the same is true when we think about a well lived day (or week, month...). I know it when I see it... for me, this usually includes taking risks with my drawing, private practice, marriage, etc. My hope is that I find a system to:
"Make mistakes of ambition and not mistakes of sloth. Develop the strength to do bold things, not the strength to suffer." - Niccolo Machiavelli The Prince
Can Dreams help with this? I'm still not sure.
In describing the threshold for pornography, Justice Potter Stewart stated: "I know it when I see it".
I think the same is true when we think about a well lived day (or week, month...). I know it when I see it... for me, this usually includes taking risks with my drawing, private practice, marriage, etc. My hope is that I find a system to:
"Make mistakes of ambition and not mistakes of sloth. Develop the strength to do bold things, not the strength to suffer." - Niccolo Machiavelli The Prince
Can Dreams help with this? I'm still not sure.
July 31, 2011 at 20:04 |
avrum
avrum
@avrum: <<for me, this usually includes taking risks with my drawing, private practice, marriage, etc. >>
For me, a good day is one spent with my partner, taking the dogs for a long walk, followed by practicing some yoga and concluding with cooking a good meal. Work is just a means to an end - it provides the revenue which permits me to do those things which give me enjoyment. I have always had difficulty with people who 'live to work', although that may be because their vision of perfection doesn't accord with mine. Dreams, to me, is about the process, ways to optimise things in order to maximise the 'me' time and minimise the amount of stress introduced by work into my life. Life is, as the old saying goes, too short. Perhaps I just haven't found my vocation yet?
For me, a good day is one spent with my partner, taking the dogs for a long walk, followed by practicing some yoga and concluding with cooking a good meal. Work is just a means to an end - it provides the revenue which permits me to do those things which give me enjoyment. I have always had difficulty with people who 'live to work', although that may be because their vision of perfection doesn't accord with mine. Dreams, to me, is about the process, ways to optimise things in order to maximise the 'me' time and minimise the amount of stress introduced by work into my life. Life is, as the old saying goes, too short. Perhaps I just haven't found my vocation yet?
July 31, 2011 at 21:57 |
Paul Taylor
Paul Taylor
Paul, I feel yours is a good situation provided your work is not 8 hours of unhappiness. certainly the other 16 hours plus weekends are at least as important. I feel the notion of meta-drift. I got to my present station in life with very little planning, which is doubtless true of most people. And many people are okay with where they are, as I mostly am.
In my case work is largely very engaging and I have trouble tempering that as I feel I ought. I'm looking to change, not as a grand 5 year plan, but as a looking out ahead, and deliberately steering the ship towards new waters. Not that I have a specific destination in mind, but as I move along I'm hoping to keep alert, later alter course as new vistas appear.
In my case work is largely very engaging and I have trouble tempering that as I feel I ought. I'm looking to change, not as a grand 5 year plan, but as a looking out ahead, and deliberately steering the ship towards new waters. Not that I have a specific destination in mind, but as I move along I'm hoping to keep alert, later alter course as new vistas appear.
July 31, 2011 at 22:38 |
Alan Baljeu
Alan Baljeu
Paul:
It sounds to me as if you are not in Drift Mode at all. You have a clear picture of how a "good day" looks and feels and you are pulled by that. That's what Pull Mode is all about.
It sounds to me as if you are not in Drift Mode at all. You have a clear picture of how a "good day" looks and feels and you are pulled by that. That's what Pull Mode is all about.
August 1, 2011 at 1:11 |
Mark Forster
Mark Forster
back to OP Alan..
I wonder if "evolve" your life might be better than "plan" your future - for me "evolve" encourages consideration of what to maintain, what to reduce, and what to develop; personally I'd also want to add some "inner" goals - attitudes and habits and personality traits - as well as external goals. I prefer the wider perspective. More balanced. I hope.
I wonder if "evolve" your life might be better than "plan" your future - for me "evolve" encourages consideration of what to maintain, what to reduce, and what to develop; personally I'd also want to add some "inner" goals - attitudes and habits and personality traits - as well as external goals. I prefer the wider perspective. More balanced. I hope.
August 3, 2011 at 19:36 |
michael
michael
<<Obviously part of this planning involves figuring out what the goal(s) are. Obviously there are other factors as well. Anybody got a good outline of how to approach this?>> Alan
I’ve been taking Mark’s suggestion to write 10x/day what I really want out of life. Over the days of writing, what is floating to the surface is developing inner traits and ease in relating with those around me. I also like the suggestion to put oneself as a character in a novel. I have on my SF list to start a collage with images that represent this person, who she is, her lifestyle, environments where she is interacting with others, etc. I believe images are direct symbols from the unsconscious.
A few other resources:
Laura Day’s book: The Circle: How the Power of a Single Wish Can Change Your Life. “Pretend that your wish has come true. Feel your ‘New Reality,’ taste it, smell it, see it, think it, remember it, hear it.” She provides a map.
What I find most intriguing from hearing her interviewed by Oprah, are the new distinctions of Embodiment, a process of making your wish more real, creating Ritual to bring it about, and creating Space in the physical environment for the wish to be realized. And, of course the oldies but goodies of Intention, noticing Synchronicity and Community. Also, of note is her recommendation to welcome the obstacles. They are being driven up by the wish so that we can deal with them and clear the path – akin to the “Present Reality” exercise in Dreams.
Mindset: the New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck.
In Mindset, Dweck argues that there are two fundamental mindsets that people use: the fixed mindset and the growth mindset.
Since doing the “What’s Better Today” exercise, I’m wondering if I’m actually training myself to be an optimist – a growth mindset vs. a problem mindset. There’s a quiz in the Mindset book to see which mindset you have. My father-in-law is 90 y/o and has been taking care of his wife, a stroke victim, for 10 years. He always seems to see the brighter side. I’m amazed. I always thought I was getting short-shrifted by not labeling all of the problems. But like what Mark says, still label current reality and train the mind to map out growth for the unconscious to lay track.
I’ve been taking Mark’s suggestion to write 10x/day what I really want out of life. Over the days of writing, what is floating to the surface is developing inner traits and ease in relating with those around me. I also like the suggestion to put oneself as a character in a novel. I have on my SF list to start a collage with images that represent this person, who she is, her lifestyle, environments where she is interacting with others, etc. I believe images are direct symbols from the unsconscious.
A few other resources:
Laura Day’s book: The Circle: How the Power of a Single Wish Can Change Your Life. “Pretend that your wish has come true. Feel your ‘New Reality,’ taste it, smell it, see it, think it, remember it, hear it.” She provides a map.
What I find most intriguing from hearing her interviewed by Oprah, are the new distinctions of Embodiment, a process of making your wish more real, creating Ritual to bring it about, and creating Space in the physical environment for the wish to be realized. And, of course the oldies but goodies of Intention, noticing Synchronicity and Community. Also, of note is her recommendation to welcome the obstacles. They are being driven up by the wish so that we can deal with them and clear the path – akin to the “Present Reality” exercise in Dreams.
Mindset: the New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck.
In Mindset, Dweck argues that there are two fundamental mindsets that people use: the fixed mindset and the growth mindset.
Since doing the “What’s Better Today” exercise, I’m wondering if I’m actually training myself to be an optimist – a growth mindset vs. a problem mindset. There’s a quiz in the Mindset book to see which mindset you have. My father-in-law is 90 y/o and has been taking care of his wife, a stroke victim, for 10 years. He always seems to see the brighter side. I’m amazed. I always thought I was getting short-shrifted by not labeling all of the problems. But like what Mark says, still label current reality and train the mind to map out growth for the unconscious to lay track.
August 4, 2011 at 15:10 |
bevp
bevp
bevp:
<<I’ve been taking Mark’s suggestion to write 10x/day what I really want out of life>>
Was this in Dreams? Sounds remarkably similar to what Brian Tracy suggests i.e. Everyday, write out your list of 10 goals anew, without looking at the previous days list. In time, Tracy claims your top 10 will be a solid list, and not riff raff.
<<What I find most intriguing from hearing her interviewed by Oprah>>
Ohhh, rituals, systems... can you post a link to the audio or print?
<<I’ve been taking Mark’s suggestion to write 10x/day what I really want out of life>>
Was this in Dreams? Sounds remarkably similar to what Brian Tracy suggests i.e. Everyday, write out your list of 10 goals anew, without looking at the previous days list. In time, Tracy claims your top 10 will be a solid list, and not riff raff.
<<What I find most intriguing from hearing her interviewed by Oprah>>
Ohhh, rituals, systems... can you post a link to the audio or print?
August 4, 2011 at 15:52 |
avrum
avrum
I thought I read Mark's suggestion to write 10x/day what I really want out of life, on this website...I don't recall it being in Dreams but can't swear to it.
Sure....love those systems....here's a few links:
http://www.oprah.com/oprahradio/The-Power-of-a-Wish
Laura Day talking about her book on The Power of Intuition
http://www.oprah.com/spirit/The-Power-of-Your-Intuition
Sure....love those systems....here's a few links:
http://www.oprah.com/oprahradio/The-Power-of-a-Wish
Laura Day talking about her book on The Power of Intuition
http://www.oprah.com/spirit/The-Power-of-Your-Intuition
August 4, 2011 at 18:29 |
bevp
bevp
bevp:
<< I thought I read Mark's suggestion to write 10x/day what I really want out of life, on this website...I don't recall it being in Dreams but can't swear to it. >>
http://www.markforster.net/blog/2008/8/7/what-do-you-really-want-out-of-life.html
<< I thought I read Mark's suggestion to write 10x/day what I really want out of life, on this website...I don't recall it being in Dreams but can't swear to it. >>
http://www.markforster.net/blog/2008/8/7/what-do-you-really-want-out-of-life.html
August 5, 2011 at 0:48 |
Mark Forster
Mark Forster
I have concluded that real change can be achieved by first establishing a Simple framework for continual improvement like this:
1. Believe and feeL that something substantially better is possible and worth pursuing.
2. Commit yourself to seeking what that might be. Keep the above belief strongly felt.
3. As part of that commitment, aim each day to renew that commitment.
4. Establish a daily scheduled habit to make that aim easier; but #3 applies even if the schedule is foiled by events.
1. Believe and feeL that something substantially better is possible and worth pursuing.
2. Commit yourself to seeking what that might be. Keep the above belief strongly felt.
3. As part of that commitment, aim each day to renew that commitment.
4. Establish a daily scheduled habit to make that aim easier; but #3 applies even if the schedule is foiled by events.
August 8, 2011 at 2:22 |
Alan Baljeu
Alan Baljeu
Obviously part of this planning involves figuring out what the goal(s) are. Obviously there are other factors as well. Anybody got a good outline of how to approach this?