Discussion Forum > I think I'm a hard case
Hi, Nena
There are a lot of points in your post, and I don't think that I can answer them all completely. But I'd like to make a couple of points:
1) Our commitments and our goals are things that need to be kept constantly under revision. Commitments particularly are like the bushes that grow in my garden - they need to be regularly pruned to keep them under control.
2) If you've really got 357 things on your to do list, then I suggest that you remember one of the points I make strongly in Do It Tomorrow. When we commit ourselves to something we are also saying no to everything else. Goals don't just say what we are going to do; they also define what we are *not* going to do.
There are a lot of points in your post, and I don't think that I can answer them all completely. But I'd like to make a couple of points:
1) Our commitments and our goals are things that need to be kept constantly under revision. Commitments particularly are like the bushes that grow in my garden - they need to be regularly pruned to keep them under control.
2) If you've really got 357 things on your to do list, then I suggest that you remember one of the points I make strongly in Do It Tomorrow. When we commit ourselves to something we are also saying no to everything else. Goals don't just say what we are going to do; they also define what we are *not* going to do.
October 11, 2006 at 0:43 |
Mark Forster
Mark Forster
I have been interested to read your latest book Mark. I studied a bit about time management earlier in the year for an admin course that I was doing. I had struggled to maintain my sanity whilst carrying a heavy work load and thought that I should have been doing so well,,, I always wrote everything down and had a 'to do list' Having the list meant that I didn't forget things, but I just never did them and they were like a permanent burden!
On reading various books, I changed to using a daily list and it was so much better.
Prioritising was still difficult but I believe that the tips from your latest book help here, It took a good while to change the previous habits and even now, they are not ingrained 6 months later but the benefits are tangible.
The only benefit of one long ( or even v long ) list of 'to do ' items is that someone else may finish a task for you if you wait long enough or, as in my case, the software got updated and the outstanding task was no longer relevant.
Hope this isn't too long!
D
On reading various books, I changed to using a daily list and it was so much better.
Prioritising was still difficult but I believe that the tips from your latest book help here, It took a good while to change the previous habits and even now, they are not ingrained 6 months later but the benefits are tangible.
The only benefit of one long ( or even v long ) list of 'to do ' items is that someone else may finish a task for you if you wait long enough or, as in my case, the software got updated and the outstanding task was no longer relevant.
Hope this isn't too long!
D
October 11, 2006 at 22:50 |
Debbie
Debbie
Hi, Debbie. Thanks for sharing your experience of the daily list v. the to do list.
As I say in "Get Everything Done and Still Have Time to Play", if you don't take action on a task it will do one of two things: 1) die, or 2) come back and bite you. On the whole it's usually better to decide which ones are going to die (i.e. by cancelling the commitment, or allocating it to someone else) by conscious decision, rather than just letting it happen by chance.
As I say in "Get Everything Done and Still Have Time to Play", if you don't take action on a task it will do one of two things: 1) die, or 2) come back and bite you. On the whole it's usually better to decide which ones are going to die (i.e. by cancelling the commitment, or allocating it to someone else) by conscious decision, rather than just letting it happen by chance.
October 12, 2006 at 9:59 |
Mark Forster
Mark Forster
The die or come back and bite you is really interesting - I've left tasks in the past and they've definitely come back and bitten me - through my not taking action the situation has grown much worse than just doing it in the first place has been!
October 14, 2006 at 11:35 |
Claire Chapman
Claire Chapman
"The best remedy for fear is action". I wish I could remember who said that, but it's absolutely true!
October 14, 2006 at 12:06 |
Mark Forster
Mark Forster
Hello Everyone
It was good to read that someone has a lot to do.
How best to deal with my situation?
What Mark said about commitments came back to me.
I read the relevant sections of “get everything done “and “Do It Tomorrow”
So, what are the activities that are claiming my attention?
• Working in my 8.00am-4.30pm day job.
• Going to dance classes.
• Being Treasurer for a club.
• Going to self help meetings.
• Looking after myself.
• Keeping my accounts up to date.
• Taking photographs
• Changing my job
• Doing volunteer work to get work experience.
• Going to the gym.
• Travel to work and other places.
• Sleeping the right amount.
• Getting dental treatment.
• Getting treatment for my eyes.
• The rebuilding that is going to take place in my flat.
• Cleaning that back log that almost fills my flat.
• Paying my electricity bill.
• Eating
This is my first draft of my list.
I feel better in my self. The load is on the screen not in my head.
Yours truly,
Peter M
It was good to read that someone has a lot to do.
How best to deal with my situation?
What Mark said about commitments came back to me.
I read the relevant sections of “get everything done “and “Do It Tomorrow”
So, what are the activities that are claiming my attention?
• Working in my 8.00am-4.30pm day job.
• Going to dance classes.
• Being Treasurer for a club.
• Going to self help meetings.
• Looking after myself.
• Keeping my accounts up to date.
• Taking photographs
• Changing my job
• Doing volunteer work to get work experience.
• Going to the gym.
• Travel to work and other places.
• Sleeping the right amount.
• Getting dental treatment.
• Getting treatment for my eyes.
• The rebuilding that is going to take place in my flat.
• Cleaning that back log that almost fills my flat.
• Paying my electricity bill.
• Eating
This is my first draft of my list.
I feel better in my self. The load is on the screen not in my head.
Yours truly,
Peter M
November 5, 2006 at 17:26 |
Peter M
Peter M
I really enjoy your newsletters. But I wonder sometimes if I'm too hard a nut to crack. Basically, I perfected the art of shedding stress and 'living one day at a time' some years ago.
Neither is necessarily a good thing. Shedding stress includes avoiding unpleasant things - and that includes a lot of the 'no option' things. 'No option' makes me feel trapped, chained, caged, imprisoned - you get the drift. So first issue is how to NOT hate the 'no option' aspects of life - garbage that has to go out every blasted week, cleaning that needs doing over and over again, etc.
Second is that I do become involved in the activity of the moment - so absorbed that I don't note the passage of time and forget that other things need to be done. And weeks, months, and years zip by before I know it.
Finally, I have yet to come up with a functional and efficient reminder system to mitigate the above - to keep all the things that need doing (no option ones, too) in a format such that it can stay before me and serve as a reminder of not only what's next but what's pending in the short term to long term. My problem with most reminder systems is that they constantly need to be revised as new priorities arise. I agree that everything needs to be done but, as it turns out, if you do the new things, the older things that you maybe didn't get to never get done. And the regular things that it seems you only just did need doing yet again. I am aware that life is short; doing things that do not grow me seems a tiresome waste.
So. Am I hopeless? How do I manage to not hate being obliged to do things I dislike doing and how do I construct a system that keeps all my 'to do' items before me efficiently (my 'master list of 'to do' items is about 357 items long and some are projects that require an extended amount of effort over time)?