Discussion Forum > Components of Success
It's long been known that mixing with people with similar aspirations does seem to spur you on. I have one or two friends who are really upbeat and full of energy and I can feel their positive effect for quite a while after I have seen them - conversely I know one or two people who I can only describe as 'energy leaches' who I try to avoid as I come away drained, depressed, and full of worry after spending time with them.
So yes other people do affect us. I'm not sure if some people are born with energy and enthusiasm or whether it is a learnt behaviour - in which case I would like to learn more!
This is probably why some of us like to hang around on forums like this - hopefully some of it rubs off! I also think that we tend to gravitate to where we are comfortable. For example forums with negative and clever/sarcastic people / vibes would really turn me off and I wouldn't return - however others do like them!
Having said all this, I have no idea how you would go about including this in a time management system!
So yes other people do affect us. I'm not sure if some people are born with energy and enthusiasm or whether it is a learnt behaviour - in which case I would like to learn more!
This is probably why some of us like to hang around on forums like this - hopefully some of it rubs off! I also think that we tend to gravitate to where we are comfortable. For example forums with negative and clever/sarcastic people / vibes would really turn me off and I wouldn't return - however others do like them!
Having said all this, I have no idea how you would go about including this in a time management system!
September 13, 2011 at 13:31 |
Alison Reeves
Alison Reeves
There's quite a lot on this and similar effects in Halvorson's "Succeed" which we had a thread on recently.
It's not just social networks which can stimulate success. Anything which is associated in your mind with success can have a similar effect. These can be pictures, objects, all sorts of things.
It's not just social networks which can stimulate success. Anything which is associated in your mind with success can have a similar effect. These can be pictures, objects, all sorts of things.
September 13, 2011 at 14:53 |
Mark Forster
Mark Forster
My current group of close friends are not very athletic and like fast food, and it rubs off. Even when I'm not around them, the lack of mental vibes leading me in a healthier direction has its influence.
September 13, 2011 at 16:38 |
Alan Baljeu
Alan Baljeu
Zeloc:
You are 100% right - social aspects of success/achievement are often overlooked and - as a psychologist - I must tell I am often very amused by the fact that after months of typical behavioral therapy - where client wants to change his personality so hardly - problems are often gone by "simple" change of social environment - not only changing individual people around, but also other social aspects (culture, city, roles etc.). So definitely - being around the right "tribe" is very very important. Not only because of the discussions, support, but also models, information, new "normality" models, new examples of behaviors etc.
But if "accountability" should be the key factor as you suggest - it depends strictly on personality in my opinion. E.g. there are "winner" types, who need to compete. But there are also "cooperative" types who find competition awkward and prefer cooperation (e.g. playing in orchestra, not playing tennis). Similarly, some people will be extremely motivated by accountability, sharing their goals, publishing their running maps on facebook etc. and being aware that they are observed. Other types will not be very motivated by this - and will need other types of social support - e.g. seeing examples, hearing verbal support, spending activities together, not telling to anybody and waiting for the other people to start to notice the changes etc.
You are 100% right - social aspects of success/achievement are often overlooked and - as a psychologist - I must tell I am often very amused by the fact that after months of typical behavioral therapy - where client wants to change his personality so hardly - problems are often gone by "simple" change of social environment - not only changing individual people around, but also other social aspects (culture, city, roles etc.). So definitely - being around the right "tribe" is very very important. Not only because of the discussions, support, but also models, information, new "normality" models, new examples of behaviors etc.
But if "accountability" should be the key factor as you suggest - it depends strictly on personality in my opinion. E.g. there are "winner" types, who need to compete. But there are also "cooperative" types who find competition awkward and prefer cooperation (e.g. playing in orchestra, not playing tennis). Similarly, some people will be extremely motivated by accountability, sharing their goals, publishing their running maps on facebook etc. and being aware that they are observed. Other types will not be very motivated by this - and will need other types of social support - e.g. seeing examples, hearing verbal support, spending activities together, not telling to anybody and waiting for the other people to start to notice the changes etc.
September 13, 2011 at 22:20 |
Daneb
Daneb
>>>There's quite a lot on this and similar effects in Halvorson's "Succeed" which we had a thread on recently.
It's not just social networks which can stimulate success. Anything which is associated in your mind with success can have a similar effect. These can be pictures, objects, all sorts of things. <<< by Registered Commenter Mark Forster
I read every post in this forum that referenced Halvorson and there isn't anything (or at least I couldn't find anything) that specifically mentions social networks or friendships. Maybe there is some treatment in the book. While I agree that pictures, goals, etc, can stimulate positive feelings and actions, there are inevitably down times and I personally wonder if these things are sufficient for success in the absence of other like-minded persons.
It's not just social networks which can stimulate success. Anything which is associated in your mind with success can have a similar effect. These can be pictures, objects, all sorts of things. <<< by Registered Commenter Mark Forster
I read every post in this forum that referenced Halvorson and there isn't anything (or at least I couldn't find anything) that specifically mentions social networks or friendships. Maybe there is some treatment in the book. While I agree that pictures, goals, etc, can stimulate positive feelings and actions, there are inevitably down times and I personally wonder if these things are sufficient for success in the absence of other like-minded persons.
September 14, 2011 at 1:03 |
Zeloc
Zeloc
What are your thoughts on whether a system can include a social or accountability kind of component and how would it be done?
I am a runner and have a smartphone app that keeps track of the distance I run, the time, and the velocity, and when I complete a run I can press a button that will upload a message to facebook that looks something like. "I just ran 3 km and burned 240 calories!" I haven't used the upload feature for privacy reasons but I could see how I could get positive encouragement messages or reinforcement, or on the other hand if I had committed to running a certain number of times/week and didn't do it, ppl could call me on it.
I don't want to get too off-topic in my own thread but I came across a blog post that I found interesting:
http://www.clay-collins.com/blog/accountability-group-accountability-groups/
What are your thoughts on all this?