Discussion Forum > Old forgotten tips for breaking through resistance
UBI:
Bless ya for starting this. I'd love to hear how other people do this. Here's a few (real examples) of mine:
1. Co-composed music for award-winning NFB doc: http://www.onf.ca/film/mechant_trip
Tools used:
a. PARTNER (co-writer): We had different skill-sets, allowing technical and creative roadblocks to be shared, and mostly overcome without too much fuss.
b. DEADLINE: The NFB provided us with a contract (and money). Enough said.
c. Well defined EMOTIONAL TOUCHSTONE: The thrill of watching/listening to your work on a big screen, in front of an audience. Bliss.
2. Opening my private practice: http://www.nadigel.com/
Tools used:
a.FEAR: The mere thought of working for another mental health agency (politics, stifling clinical procedures and red-tape) drove me to become an entrepreneur.
b. DESIRE: I couldn't wait to teach/guide on ideas that helped me (Family Systems therapy).
That it's for now. Looking forward to other responses.
Bless ya for starting this. I'd love to hear how other people do this. Here's a few (real examples) of mine:
1. Co-composed music for award-winning NFB doc: http://www.onf.ca/film/mechant_trip
Tools used:
a. PARTNER (co-writer): We had different skill-sets, allowing technical and creative roadblocks to be shared, and mostly overcome without too much fuss.
b. DEADLINE: The NFB provided us with a contract (and money). Enough said.
c. Well defined EMOTIONAL TOUCHSTONE: The thrill of watching/listening to your work on a big screen, in front of an audience. Bliss.
2. Opening my private practice: http://www.nadigel.com/
Tools used:
a.FEAR: The mere thought of working for another mental health agency (politics, stifling clinical procedures and red-tape) drove me to become an entrepreneur.
b. DESIRE: I couldn't wait to teach/guide on ideas that helped me (Family Systems therapy).
That it's for now. Looking forward to other responses.
December 15, 2011 at 20:50 |
avrum
avrum
I am just wondering. What is so damn wrong with our lives so we need to use such tricks all the time. I am so tired about all these systems and tricks, they maybe help 10-15%, thats all.
Maybe problem is somewhere else and we just follow wrong road.
Maybe problem is somewhere else and we just follow wrong road.
December 15, 2011 at 22:13 |
Navigare
Navigare
Navigare:
"What is so damn wrong with our lives so we need to use such tricks all the time. I am so tired about all these systems and tricks"
But not tired enough to read the entries and post your rant? I'm confused.
"What is so damn wrong with our lives so we need to use such tricks all the time. I am so tired about all these systems and tricks"
But not tired enough to read the entries and post your rant? I'm confused.
December 15, 2011 at 22:21 |
avrum
avrum
Avrum,
Truth be told, I think many people are using time management to try to get stuff done that quite frankly is not their true passion or bores them. If most people were following their passions I believe they would get lots more done. I think many people look at their list and just would rather be doing something else. Of course I can't prove this, it is just a hunch.
Gerry
Truth be told, I think many people are using time management to try to get stuff done that quite frankly is not their true passion or bores them. If most people were following their passions I believe they would get lots more done. I think many people look at their list and just would rather be doing something else. Of course I can't prove this, it is just a hunch.
Gerry
December 15, 2011 at 22:24 |
Gerry
Gerry
<<I think many people look at their list and just would rather be doing something else. Of course I can't prove this, it is just a hunch>>
I absolutely agree with you. However my initial post highlighted the scaffolding that was needed to actualize my "true passions".
I think UBI's post is a good one, and I'd love to hear how other people work with their resistance.
I absolutely agree with you. However my initial post highlighted the scaffolding that was needed to actualize my "true passions".
I think UBI's post is a good one, and I'd love to hear how other people work with their resistance.
December 16, 2011 at 0:16 |
avrum
avrum
Hehe please dont get me wrong, I love all these systems, especially Mark's - because they give me one important thing - hope.
I just wonder where is sweetspot between forcing, tricking yourself and geting stuff done and looking deeper and enlisting for some tharaphy (to find cause of your resistance: add, boredom, need of constant stimulation).
And following your passion and work, eh... Tried that many times. Troubles each time and finally my passion become somethingI hate).
I just wonder where is sweetspot between forcing, tricking yourself and geting stuff done and looking deeper and enlisting for some tharaphy (to find cause of your resistance: add, boredom, need of constant stimulation).
And following your passion and work, eh... Tried that many times. Troubles each time and finally my passion become somethingI hate).
December 16, 2011 at 7:15 |
Navigare
Navigare
<<...they give me one important thing - hope.>>
Intriguing. For me they give me relaxation. With relaxation come insights about depper matters. For me this encourage reflection on what matters. One of Mark's questions helps: Where does my heart want to go next?
They also set an horizon of my world. Time management is profoundly moral in that the only thing we are really managing is our own choice of attention and intention. We have roughly 1000 useable minutes per day and get free choice of what they mean to us.
Intriguing. For me they give me relaxation. With relaxation come insights about depper matters. For me this encourage reflection on what matters. One of Mark's questions helps: Where does my heart want to go next?
They also set an horizon of my world. Time management is profoundly moral in that the only thing we are really managing is our own choice of attention and intention. We have roughly 1000 useable minutes per day and get free choice of what they mean to us.
December 16, 2011 at 9:01 |
michael
michael
<<Time management is profoundly moral...>>
One thing I like about this community is that everyone seems to be very like-minded; they just want to contribute and speak very respectfully.
Almost every topic in the local, main expatriate forum here where I live usually starts out civilly, but then becomes littered with rants and insults and somebody trying to prove the other person does not know what they are talking about, and that he or she is smarter than the other (usually a 'he'). It makes the site useless in my opinion except for the purpose of reading the daily headlines that affect foreigners living here. I know that's an extreme example, but there are plenty of sites that have a little bit of that.
If someone's suggestion on a topic in this forum would further complicate my system, I don't use it. Or, I just take from it what might apply to me; maybe something very minor. But, they usually give me ideas on how to shed things, rather than add further steps to my system.
Regarding passion, how many times have you started on something, travel or get distracted, then just totally forget you even started it? Here, a few 'tricks' will keep that initiative on the burner.
I agree, this whole idea of this "Attention Management" can be quite overwhelming, time consuming and hinder your efforts if some sort of boundary is not placed upon it.
However, I love to read someone trying out something new on this forum (new 'tricks'). They might come back and say, 'scratch that - it didn't work'. But, it is still interesting.
One thing I like about this community is that everyone seems to be very like-minded; they just want to contribute and speak very respectfully.
Almost every topic in the local, main expatriate forum here where I live usually starts out civilly, but then becomes littered with rants and insults and somebody trying to prove the other person does not know what they are talking about, and that he or she is smarter than the other (usually a 'he'). It makes the site useless in my opinion except for the purpose of reading the daily headlines that affect foreigners living here. I know that's an extreme example, but there are plenty of sites that have a little bit of that.
If someone's suggestion on a topic in this forum would further complicate my system, I don't use it. Or, I just take from it what might apply to me; maybe something very minor. But, they usually give me ideas on how to shed things, rather than add further steps to my system.
Regarding passion, how many times have you started on something, travel or get distracted, then just totally forget you even started it? Here, a few 'tricks' will keep that initiative on the burner.
I agree, this whole idea of this "Attention Management" can be quite overwhelming, time consuming and hinder your efforts if some sort of boundary is not placed upon it.
However, I love to read someone trying out something new on this forum (new 'tricks'). They might come back and say, 'scratch that - it didn't work'. But, it is still interesting.
December 16, 2011 at 13:39 |
BKK
BKK
I usually feel guilty doing stuff that's my passion, when I have all this other stuff that needs to be done. Also, it would feel good to get some of the stuff that doesn't have to be done, done as well. (Laundry for the family has to be done today. Clearing the backlog has to be done, but not today -- but then when? Learning shorthand doesn't need to be done.)
I hear you, sometimes what starts as a passion becomes something I hate, or yet another thing I started but didn't finish. It would feel great to finish it!
Time management (including knowing time available and time needed) helps me relax and enjoy. I know how if I have to drop something this week to get my important stuff done.
I hear you, sometimes what starts as a passion becomes something I hate, or yet another thing I started but didn't finish. It would feel great to finish it!
Time management (including knowing time available and time needed) helps me relax and enjoy. I know how if I have to drop something this week to get my important stuff done.
December 16, 2011 at 15:56 |
Cricket
Cricket
Two quotes from Mark from back in 2006 in a discussion titled, "I think I'm a hard case", that may sound obvious, but are good reminders:
<<When we commit ourselves to something we are also saying no to everything else. Goals don't just say what we are going to do; they also define what we are *not* going to do.>>
<<...if you don't take action on a task it will do one of two things: 1) die, or 2) come back and bite you. On the whole it's usually better to decide which ones are going to die (i.e. by cancelling the commitment, or allocating it to someone else) by conscious decision, rather than just letting it happen by chance. >>
<<When we commit ourselves to something we are also saying no to everything else. Goals don't just say what we are going to do; they also define what we are *not* going to do.>>
<<...if you don't take action on a task it will do one of two things: 1) die, or 2) come back and bite you. On the whole it's usually better to decide which ones are going to die (i.e. by cancelling the commitment, or allocating it to someone else) by conscious decision, rather than just letting it happen by chance. >>
December 16, 2011 at 19:32 |
BKK
BKK
Another way of saying the above is that there is no such thing as procrastination, only 100% commitment to something else. And then facing the "but you should be...." voice. Perhaps the heart's voice ("Where does my heart what to go next?") is the voice to listen to.
December 17, 2011 at 9:54 |
michael
michael
What you describe is the very definition of procrastination. Of course it exists. And if you suppress the "but you should be" voice, then "it will do one of two things: 1) die, or 2) come back and bite you.". Not "wanting" a task is insufficient reason to ignore it. You also need to accept the consequence of dropping it, or find an alternative that neutralizes the bite.
December 17, 2011 at 12:50 |
Alan Baljeu
Alan Baljeu
+JMJ+
This is a gem: http://www.markforster.net/forum/post/726414
Why? Because it explains EXACTLY the experience I have had in the "standing out" process of my system recently. Before, I had thought that the "standing out" process is that of "I want to do this, so there!" feeling, or what is my "passion", or "What must I do now?" But more and more I am convinced the true "standing out" process is more of "What is ready to be done?" And most of the time when this latter attitude is what I hold in my heart while looking over my list the "standing out" process is more pronounced and I go through the list easier.
What is interesting is that what I choose using this attitude are NOT necessarily what I WANT to do, or what are the EASIEST ones to do. On the contrary, most of the time the tasks I come to choose are the more difficult and unsavory ones, those things I have been trying to put off for days. And yet when I come to choose them there is a certain confidence, as if it IS the time to do the tasks, as if my capabilities, the timing, the resources are all there to tackle what is needed to be tackled.
And the phrasing has to be "What is ready to be done?", not "What do I need to do?" or "What should I do?" or "What must I do?" All of these may make certain tasks "stand out," but when they do there is much resistance to do them, as if although they DO need to be tackled, I am actually lacking what I need to tackle them. Nor should the phrasing be, "What do I want to do?" or "What's my passion?" Believe me when I say that THOSE phrasings makes certain tasks go NUTS, "jumping out," not just "standing out," but in the end I am left unsatisfied, as if I just wasted my time and effort little profit.
This is a gem: http://www.markforster.net/forum/post/726414
Why? Because it explains EXACTLY the experience I have had in the "standing out" process of my system recently. Before, I had thought that the "standing out" process is that of "I want to do this, so there!" feeling, or what is my "passion", or "What must I do now?" But more and more I am convinced the true "standing out" process is more of "What is ready to be done?" And most of the time when this latter attitude is what I hold in my heart while looking over my list the "standing out" process is more pronounced and I go through the list easier.
What is interesting is that what I choose using this attitude are NOT necessarily what I WANT to do, or what are the EASIEST ones to do. On the contrary, most of the time the tasks I come to choose are the more difficult and unsavory ones, those things I have been trying to put off for days. And yet when I come to choose them there is a certain confidence, as if it IS the time to do the tasks, as if my capabilities, the timing, the resources are all there to tackle what is needed to be tackled.
And the phrasing has to be "What is ready to be done?", not "What do I need to do?" or "What should I do?" or "What must I do?" All of these may make certain tasks "stand out," but when they do there is much resistance to do them, as if although they DO need to be tackled, I am actually lacking what I need to tackle them. Nor should the phrasing be, "What do I want to do?" or "What's my passion?" Believe me when I say that THOSE phrasings makes certain tasks go NUTS, "jumping out," not just "standing out," but in the end I am left unsatisfied, as if I just wasted my time and effort little profit.
December 17, 2011 at 21:20 |
nuntym
nuntym
<<Not "wanting" a task is insufficient reason to ignore it. >>
Also, "fearing" a task is insufficient reason to ignore it.
Also, "fearing" a task is insufficient reason to ignore it.
December 18, 2011 at 9:24 |
BKK
BKK
http://www.markforster.net/blog/2006/9/9/plus-or-minus.html
– by scanning the LATEST COMMENTS column on the left. Seems like a brilliant way to deal with a stale list. Has anyone employed it for AF1, either on the whole list or one page at a time? A pencil would be best, I think, to make it easy to reevaluate at a later time, without having to rewrite everything.
Another one that has intrigued me is Blanchard's Four Quadrants –
http://www.markforster.net/blog/2007/2/15/the-four-quadrants-a-different-version.html
– but I haven't actually used this much. It would seem to work best with a DIT type of flow, rather than AF1.
What other great ideas have we forgotten along the way?