Discussion Forum > Are there any other parents of young babies here
Hi Josie! My kids are older now (8 & 10), but I've been there. Honestly, those first 2 years are survival mode, or they were for me. I hadn't read any of Mark's stuff back then, but what did help me get thru was FlyLady. I found her 3 weeks before my first was born and I was so thankful. You just don't have any time to spare thinking about what to do. As much as humanly possible has to be automatic - so routines. Then anything that comes up, you pigeon hole into one of the routines.
I still use this to an extent - Early AM routine (before my kids get up), Morning routine (to get us out the door), Transition routine (from drop off to walk in at work), Lunch routine (which errands/scheduling belong during my lunch hour), Pick up routine (which errands make sense to do after I pick up the kids, on the way home), Walk in the door routine (unload car, throw in laundry, start dinner), Homework routines, Ready for bed routines (for both me and kids).
Of course, there is never a normal day. Someone is sick, there's a special project at work, the dryer breaks and needs repair. You deal with it, then jump right back into your routines wherever you are at.
Good luck!
Erika
I still use this to an extent - Early AM routine (before my kids get up), Morning routine (to get us out the door), Transition routine (from drop off to walk in at work), Lunch routine (which errands/scheduling belong during my lunch hour), Pick up routine (which errands make sense to do after I pick up the kids, on the way home), Walk in the door routine (unload car, throw in laundry, start dinner), Homework routines, Ready for bed routines (for both me and kids).
Of course, there is never a normal day. Someone is sick, there's a special project at work, the dryer breaks and needs repair. You deal with it, then jump right back into your routines wherever you are at.
Good luck!
Erika
August 24, 2012 at 14:18 |
Erika
Erika
Also, "A Mother's Rule of Life" by Holly Pierlot is excellent. This is written from a Catholic, home schooling perspective, but I found many useful tips and ideas as a working mom too.
August 24, 2012 at 14:21 |
Erika
Erika
I was a stay-home mom of 2 kids, and even then needed survival mode. I'd start with DIT or Dreams -- not the list-based task management systems. It's too easy to get caught up in the lists of tasks and forget the big picture. Your goal is a balanced life, not to finish your task list.
Look after your baby's mother!
You don't have to spend every non-working minute with the baby.
Make a standing appointment with a babysitter for every week or two. Long enough for pleasure shopping or a movie or dinner. You cannot stay sane if you never take time just for you.
You can do groceries faster and avoid bad experiences by doing them alone. Whenever I doubt my decision to stay home I go to the store at dinner time on Monday. Hungry, tired kids dragged around by hungry, tired, frustrated parents. That's not quality time.
Look at the bigger picture rather than getting drowned in task lists. FlyLady has many lists, but she also keeps things in perspective. You don't need to do all the corners every week.
Enjoy watching your baby with someone else. When I napped, I couldn't fall asleep until I heard a crisis and Daddy calmly handling it. At first, I had to fake sleep really well so he didn't run to me every time, but it worked. We have videos of Son's first two baths with Daddy. Only a week apart, and what a difference!
Hang in there! I made half the mistakes in the book, and wrote a whole new one, and both kids are still talking to me.
Look after your baby's mother!
You don't have to spend every non-working minute with the baby.
Make a standing appointment with a babysitter for every week or two. Long enough for pleasure shopping or a movie or dinner. You cannot stay sane if you never take time just for you.
You can do groceries faster and avoid bad experiences by doing them alone. Whenever I doubt my decision to stay home I go to the store at dinner time on Monday. Hungry, tired kids dragged around by hungry, tired, frustrated parents. That's not quality time.
Look at the bigger picture rather than getting drowned in task lists. FlyLady has many lists, but she also keeps things in perspective. You don't need to do all the corners every week.
Enjoy watching your baby with someone else. When I napped, I couldn't fall asleep until I heard a crisis and Daddy calmly handling it. At first, I had to fake sleep really well so he didn't run to me every time, but it worked. We have videos of Son's first two baths with Daddy. Only a week apart, and what a difference!
Hang in there! I made half the mistakes in the book, and wrote a whole new one, and both kids are still talking to me.
August 24, 2012 at 14:51 |
Cricket
Cricket
Thank you both. Your advice and insight is gratefully received.
I have also experienced the FlyLady but found the daily emails too much! I shall dip back in again and try not to get overwhelmed.
I have also experienced the FlyLady but found the daily emails too much! I shall dip back in again and try not to get overwhelmed.
August 25, 2012 at 1:32 |
Josie S
Josie S
FlyLady herself says you should delete most of her emails without reading.
Only read the ones that apply to you and delete the rest.
Most of them are repetitive. You'll see them again in a few months -- by which time you'll be ready for them. (And if you're not, they'll be back in another few months.)
Start with the Baby Steps.
http://www.flylady.net/d/getting-started/31-beginner-babysteps/
It took me two months to add all 31 steps into my routine. Don't rush it. Rushing it causes overwhelm.
Yes, the site is disorganized. She has Flying Lessons and Baby Steps and Start Here and ... Serious overwhelm. It's all good advice, but too much at once.
Her philosophy and reassurance and stories of other FlyBabies are great. Read a few of those each week -- but only a few. The best will be repeated in a few months.
Best of luck with the next part of your life!
Only read the ones that apply to you and delete the rest.
Most of them are repetitive. You'll see them again in a few months -- by which time you'll be ready for them. (And if you're not, they'll be back in another few months.)
Start with the Baby Steps.
http://www.flylady.net/d/getting-started/31-beginner-babysteps/
It took me two months to add all 31 steps into my routine. Don't rush it. Rushing it causes overwhelm.
Yes, the site is disorganized. She has Flying Lessons and Baby Steps and Start Here and ... Serious overwhelm. It's all good advice, but too much at once.
Her philosophy and reassurance and stories of other FlyBabies are great. Read a few of those each week -- but only a few. The best will be repeated in a few months.
Best of luck with the next part of your life!
August 25, 2012 at 15:19 |
Cricket
Cricket
I'm a mum of two young children; almost 4 and 1. this is my first day back at work so I'm going to have the challenge of finding time to get things done, espcially when I couldn't find it when I was at home all day :D
How have you been finding it? Do you have any tips?
How have you been finding it? Do you have any tips?
October 8, 2012 at 13:42 |
Kate Davis
Kate Davis
I seem to have about an hour free for myself each day when I can choose to do any of the tens of household tasks that need doing, manage task lists, attend to my personal hygiene, or relax.
Is there anyone else here in (or from) a similar predicament? Is there any hope? Which of Mark's methods would be best to focus on to begin with?