Discussion Forum > If you're in a funk...
If I'm in a funk, it's because my time management has broken down, and I have reacted by letting go of it. I respond by lurching along without it until I stumble across the optimism to start over, which occasionally comes from the discovery of a new and promising system.
September 17, 2012 at 2:48 |
Bernie
Bernie
I focus on things that absolutely have to be done today and a few quick things that I've been putting off. I make a list, then sit back in relief that it's shorter than I feared.
After that, I focus on three items at a time, usually the three that make the most sense. The first three are laundry, shower and plan supper.
When I get sidetracked, I forgive myself and go back to the list.
Usually, half the list gets done quickly, and that accomplishment helps my mood. That's the danger point. I tend to sit back rather than keep going, which sets me up for a bad tomorrow.
After that, I focus on three items at a time, usually the three that make the most sense. The first three are laundry, shower and plan supper.
When I get sidetracked, I forgive myself and go back to the list.
Usually, half the list gets done quickly, and that accomplishment helps my mood. That's the danger point. I tend to sit back rather than keep going, which sets me up for a bad tomorrow.
September 17, 2012 at 20:25 |
Cricket
Cricket
If I'm in a funk, I've learned that that's when I must hold on to my routines (exercise, sleep, getting the next things done) most strongly. But I do often have to remind myself of that because when the black dog comes into the room, the routines seem so unimportant.
As Mark has said in his other writings (and I've absorbed from a lifeway called Constructive Living), emotions can be like the weather and they'll come and go, so I can't let my life be governed too much by them. Better to have a firm structure to hold on to so that when the storm passes, I'll discover that the bills still got paid, laundry got done, etc.
In fact, knowing that you will sometimes get in a funk, how have you set up your routines and systems ahead of time so that they can *help* you get through a funk? We often don't worry about the leaky roof till it's raining; establishing some good habits before you need them can help you get through a bad period with less wear and tear than before.
I also echo Cricket's note of self-care and forgiveness. Focus on what absolutely has to be done and be kind to yourself.
As Mark has said in his other writings (and I've absorbed from a lifeway called Constructive Living), emotions can be like the weather and they'll come and go, so I can't let my life be governed too much by them. Better to have a firm structure to hold on to so that when the storm passes, I'll discover that the bills still got paid, laundry got done, etc.
In fact, knowing that you will sometimes get in a funk, how have you set up your routines and systems ahead of time so that they can *help* you get through a funk? We often don't worry about the leaky roof till it's raining; establishing some good habits before you need them can help you get through a bad period with less wear and tear than before.
I also echo Cricket's note of self-care and forgiveness. Focus on what absolutely has to be done and be kind to yourself.
September 18, 2012 at 14:30 |
Mike Brown
Mike Brown
I can't fix the roof now, it's raining! And it don't need fixin' when it ain't raining. :-)
I should try your approach Mike.
I should try your approach Mike.
September 18, 2012 at 16:43 |
Alan Baljeu
Alan Baljeu
Speaking of rain: It's raining today. Apparently we left our 11-year-old daughter's boots at my parents two months ago. Buying new ones is cheaper than shipping. I vaguely remember it at the time. This morning she said she didn't remind us because she didn't know it would rain today. Sigh.
September 18, 2012 at 19:42 |
Cricket
Cricket
This article is apropos:
Destuckification 101, by Havi Brooks
http://www.fluentself.com/blog/stuckification/destuckification-101/
Destuckification 101, by Havi Brooks
http://www.fluentself.com/blog/stuckification/destuckification-101/
September 19, 2012 at 18:14 |
Bernie
Bernie
I want a system that doesn't funk. That way, when *I* get into a funk, it won't torpedo the system.
That means the system must be able to withstand a lot. It cannot be so fine-tuned that if you leave it for a week it gets overgrown with weeds or all goes to rust.
The "Black Swan" of Nicholas Taleb comes to mind. He rails against highly-optimized systems, especially those in the financial world. The more highly-optimized a system becomes, the more fragile it becomes. The highly-optimized system ignores the "black swans" -- the real and dramatic events that the system does not and cannot take into account. These are the events in all of our lives that knock us off the wagon. If we just can't get back onto the wagon, then there's probably something wrong with the wagon, not necessarily with us.
This leads me back over and over again to the simplest of systems: "Write everything down in one place". Or better: "Write everything down in one place, at least most of the time".
I have adjusted it a little to suit my own needs: I write everything down in a dated journal notebook. It helps me regulate my commitments. If the pages fill up, I know I am overcommitted.
I also like processing my notebook with FV. But sometimes I don't. Sometimes I lean more toward the AF1 "standing out" method. Sometimes I just want to bang it all out so I go straight down the list.
Whenever I feel the temptation to make a "system" out of this, I think of Nicholas Taleb, and then I try to *remove* a feature of my system instead, try to make it simpler, more robust, something I could explain in two or three sentences.
That means the system must be able to withstand a lot. It cannot be so fine-tuned that if you leave it for a week it gets overgrown with weeds or all goes to rust.
The "Black Swan" of Nicholas Taleb comes to mind. He rails against highly-optimized systems, especially those in the financial world. The more highly-optimized a system becomes, the more fragile it becomes. The highly-optimized system ignores the "black swans" -- the real and dramatic events that the system does not and cannot take into account. These are the events in all of our lives that knock us off the wagon. If we just can't get back onto the wagon, then there's probably something wrong with the wagon, not necessarily with us.
This leads me back over and over again to the simplest of systems: "Write everything down in one place". Or better: "Write everything down in one place, at least most of the time".
I have adjusted it a little to suit my own needs: I write everything down in a dated journal notebook. It helps me regulate my commitments. If the pages fill up, I know I am overcommitted.
I also like processing my notebook with FV. But sometimes I don't. Sometimes I lean more toward the AF1 "standing out" method. Sometimes I just want to bang it all out so I go straight down the list.
Whenever I feel the temptation to make a "system" out of this, I think of Nicholas Taleb, and then I try to *remove* a feature of my system instead, try to make it simpler, more robust, something I could explain in two or three sentences.
September 20, 2012 at 2:33 |
Seraphim
Seraphim
I think you may have the best strategy, Seraphim. Of course the strategy depends on knowing good tools for working (AF, FV). But at core it's
1. Have a way to work.
2. Be aware of how it's going.
3. Adapt.
Our old philosophical Mike figured this out a long while back.
1. Have a way to work.
2. Be aware of how it's going.
3. Adapt.
Our old philosophical Mike figured this out a long while back.
September 20, 2012 at 16:18 |
Alan Baljeu
Alan Baljeu
I didn't realize it, but I tend to do what Seraphim mentioned regarding FV and AF1. Looking back on it, when I've gotten out of the FV routine what I've been doing was AF1. Sometimes I end up fighting it. That's probably not a good idea.
In any case, I pretty much use FV as directed and get a lot of stuff done that would have fallen to the wayside in the past and I seldom miss a deadline. That had been a problem for me.
All in all, Marks systems (starting with AF1) have each resulted in me getting more done. But the two I liked best were AF1 and FV. All the others seemed too mechanical and forced for me.
In any case, I pretty much use FV as directed and get a lot of stuff done that would have fallen to the wayside in the past and I seldom miss a deadline. That had been a problem for me.
All in all, Marks systems (starting with AF1) have each resulted in me getting more done. But the two I liked best were AF1 and FV. All the others seemed too mechanical and forced for me.
September 22, 2012 at 16:58 |
MartyH
MartyH
I can definitely empathize with what you're all writing. When I use the system, it works really well. When I don't, then's when I go completely off the rails. It's like knowing exercise is good for you. The moment you get to the gym / yoga, it's perfect. You have to get there in the first place.
Maybe it's using BJ Fogg's tiny habits (http://tinyhabits.com/) to make sure I look at my list in the first place. I use a mixture of AF1 and FV. And I think we must all remember it's about little and often.
Maybe it's using BJ Fogg's tiny habits (http://tinyhabits.com/) to make sure I look at my list in the first place. I use a mixture of AF1 and FV. And I think we must all remember it's about little and often.
October 11, 2012 at 16:30 |
Clara
Clara
Best remedy against a funk?
Write a list entitled "What *will* I do today?"
Don't include anything that you know you won't really do or anything you only think you might do.
Do the things on the list.
Add other things as you become aware that you *will* do them (and only then).
Write a list entitled "What *will* I do today?"
Don't include anything that you know you won't really do or anything you only think you might do.
Do the things on the list.
Add other things as you become aware that you *will* do them (and only then).
October 11, 2012 at 17:59 |
Mark Forster
Mark Forster
"What *will* I do today?"
Man, I'd love to read some of those lists!
Actually Mark - that's a very good question (regardless of mood). I wonder what I'd learn about myself at the end of week.
Man, I'd love to read some of those lists!
Actually Mark - that's a very good question (regardless of mood). I wonder what I'd learn about myself at the end of week.
October 11, 2012 at 19:21 |
avrum
avrum
Another interesting idea, Mark! Most of us already have our big Might-Do or Need-to-Do list (FV, AF, etc.). This Will-Do list could just be items picked off the big list. Or would you recommend creating the Will-Do list from scratch, without scanning the big list?
October 11, 2012 at 22:47 |
ubi
ubi
ubi:
The point is that even if you are in a funk, you are still going to do *something* during the day. So by writing that down you are beginning to re-establish control.
I'm not suggesting that it would be a better method than FV, AF, etc for when you are in a "normal" mood. (Though if it works for you...)
The point is that even if you are in a funk, you are still going to do *something* during the day. So by writing that down you are beginning to re-establish control.
I'm not suggesting that it would be a better method than FV, AF, etc for when you are in a "normal" mood. (Though if it works for you...)
October 11, 2012 at 23:56 |
Mark Forster
Mark Forster
I find a review of the entire list to ensure there's nothing about to blow up helps. That fear of missing something can prevent me from doing anything.
When I'm stalled, I'm not picky about what goes on my Will Do list. It's short enough that I'll get another chance to pick important things. The purpose is to get me moving. I find selecting a variety of activities works better than going by urgency or importance. Just because there's a big ugly long thing on the list doesn't mean I can't do something quick and easy that's equally important first! If I restrict myself to the big ugly thing, I'll procrastinate and do nothing, not even the quick easy things.
When I'm stalled, I'm not picky about what goes on my Will Do list. It's short enough that I'll get another chance to pick important things. The purpose is to get me moving. I find selecting a variety of activities works better than going by urgency or importance. Just because there's a big ugly long thing on the list doesn't mean I can't do something quick and easy that's equally important first! If I restrict myself to the big ugly thing, I'll procrastinate and do nothing, not even the quick easy things.
October 12, 2012 at 16:40 |
Cricket
Cricket
I think that Mark's idea--that we write down what we think we would do anyway, and the do it--is brilliant.
It uses the same principles that hypnotists use to convince their subjects that the hypnotist is controlling them.
It also suggests to me that it would be useful to write up an order of evolutionary development for time management and personal organization.
Mark's will-do list (in this new sense) would be near the bottom of the evolutionary scale. That is, if you can't do this will-do list, then it does not make much sense to attempt harder stuff like complex project planning with milestones or different lists for work and home.
I remember when I first started keeping a calendar. It wasn't easy. Now it seems like second nature. It is effortless.
I had to read Getting Things Done before I got an in-box. I was at a very low level of organization and time-management development back then.
Heidi Grant Halvorson http://www.heidigranthalvorson.com/2012/07/excerpt-from-succeed-building-self.html said that self-control is like a muscle: the more we exercise it the stronger it gets.
It takes self-control to do a will-do list, calendar, or inbox. But once we have done them consistently for weeks or months we are ready to move up the evolutionary ladder.
Here's what I have found with FV. After doing it for many months, I decided that I needed to touch every item on my list more frequently. So, I started circulating through it faster.
After doing that for a few weeks I then had the confidence to change the way I work. For the last few days I started focusing more on completing projects (or subprojects).
The point is that if I had set myself the requirement of focusing on completing things six months ago, I think that I would have failed miserably. But the experience of continually improving my use of FV gave me the strength to operate at a higher level.
One might object that the levels of development are different for each person. I am not convinced. Mark's will-do list seems like a good idea for almost anyone who is organizationally challenged.
So, here is a first stab, from lower to higher forms of development:
will-do list
calendar
in-box
ordered file folders
tasks list
tickler file
project plans
longer range plans
It uses the same principles that hypnotists use to convince their subjects that the hypnotist is controlling them.
It also suggests to me that it would be useful to write up an order of evolutionary development for time management and personal organization.
Mark's will-do list (in this new sense) would be near the bottom of the evolutionary scale. That is, if you can't do this will-do list, then it does not make much sense to attempt harder stuff like complex project planning with milestones or different lists for work and home.
I remember when I first started keeping a calendar. It wasn't easy. Now it seems like second nature. It is effortless.
I had to read Getting Things Done before I got an in-box. I was at a very low level of organization and time-management development back then.
Heidi Grant Halvorson http://www.heidigranthalvorson.com/2012/07/excerpt-from-succeed-building-self.html said that self-control is like a muscle: the more we exercise it the stronger it gets.
It takes self-control to do a will-do list, calendar, or inbox. But once we have done them consistently for weeks or months we are ready to move up the evolutionary ladder.
Here's what I have found with FV. After doing it for many months, I decided that I needed to touch every item on my list more frequently. So, I started circulating through it faster.
After doing that for a few weeks I then had the confidence to change the way I work. For the last few days I started focusing more on completing projects (or subprojects).
The point is that if I had set myself the requirement of focusing on completing things six months ago, I think that I would have failed miserably. But the experience of continually improving my use of FV gave me the strength to operate at a higher level.
One might object that the levels of development are different for each person. I am not convinced. Mark's will-do list seems like a good idea for almost anyone who is organizationally challenged.
So, here is a first stab, from lower to higher forms of development:
will-do list
calendar
in-box
ordered file folders
tasks list
tickler file
project plans
longer range plans
October 12, 2012 at 22:05 |
moises
moises
I hadn't caught that point. Write down what you will do, not what you will (hopefully) force yourself to do.
At an extreme:
Play video game
Check email
Massage gamer's thumb
Check internet
Remember supper (but not do anything about it)
Feel guilty about not doing anything more productive
At the very least, it will break the funk with a laugh. It will keep me coming back to the list. It's highly unlikely the list will be that bad, so my choice will actually be. "Do one of: waste, fun, waste, guilt-producing, quick productive, waste, long-productive".
.
In the "do anything useful" vein, yesterday I knew I'd fail at my current priorities, so spent the day doing AF1-style passes of the entire book. Little things that aren't as important as keeping momentum on my current priorities, but too important to delete. It was a good day. i can't do too many days like that, since they take time from my current priorities, but it felt good.
At an extreme:
Play video game
Check email
Massage gamer's thumb
Check internet
Remember supper (but not do anything about it)
Feel guilty about not doing anything more productive
At the very least, it will break the funk with a laugh. It will keep me coming back to the list. It's highly unlikely the list will be that bad, so my choice will actually be. "Do one of: waste, fun, waste, guilt-producing, quick productive, waste, long-productive".
.
In the "do anything useful" vein, yesterday I knew I'd fail at my current priorities, so spent the day doing AF1-style passes of the entire book. Little things that aren't as important as keeping momentum on my current priorities, but too important to delete. It was a good day. i can't do too many days like that, since they take time from my current priorities, but it felt good.
October 13, 2012 at 17:34 |
Cricket
Cricket
I think my ordered list above doesn't make much sense.
The idea is not to have a calendar, or even to "use" a calendar. Nor is the idea to write tasks on a list.
The idea is to have these things and then do the tasks on them.
So, if you make a will-do list but don't do it, you don't advance to the next level. If you do do everything on the will-do list consistently for x weeks, you then introduce a new process, maybe the calendar.
If you put commitments on the calendar and do what you've committed to for y weeks, while continuing to use the will-do list properly for those weeks, you advance again. If you fail more than z times during those y weeks, you drop back down to the will-do only level.
So what do the most advanced levels look like? I am not sure. But maybe it is something like you consistently fulfill multi-year commitments.
Of course there is room for debate. Maybe if you don't fail now and then, you are not challenging yourself sufficiently.
The idea is not to have a calendar, or even to "use" a calendar. Nor is the idea to write tasks on a list.
The idea is to have these things and then do the tasks on them.
So, if you make a will-do list but don't do it, you don't advance to the next level. If you do do everything on the will-do list consistently for x weeks, you then introduce a new process, maybe the calendar.
If you put commitments on the calendar and do what you've committed to for y weeks, while continuing to use the will-do list properly for those weeks, you advance again. If you fail more than z times during those y weeks, you drop back down to the will-do only level.
So what do the most advanced levels look like? I am not sure. But maybe it is something like you consistently fulfill multi-year commitments.
Of course there is room for debate. Maybe if you don't fail now and then, you are not challenging yourself sufficiently.
October 14, 2012 at 2:57 |
moises
moises
I find FV works much like a will-do list. The question of "what do I want to do before X" tends to get answered in the negative for anything I don't want to do today nor have confidence I actually will today.
Although to be honest for the past week my will-do list has had approximately one thing each day, plus email to catch emergencies.
Although to be honest for the past week my will-do list has had approximately one thing each day, plus email to catch emergencies.
October 15, 2012 at 13:38 |
Alan Baljeu
Alan Baljeu
"I find FV works much like a will-do list."
Alan, you are one advanced person.
If I found that my will-do list was much like my FV list, then I would be in time-management nirvana.
My will-do list is so much less demanding than my FV list.
Alan, you are one advanced person.
If I found that my will-do list was much like my FV list, then I would be in time-management nirvana.
My will-do list is so much less demanding than my FV list.
October 15, 2012 at 18:19 |
moises
moises
It comes from reinterpreting the question. Think of it as "Given that I am going to do X today, what shall I do today before X?"
October 15, 2012 at 20:08 |
Alan Baljeu
Alan Baljeu
I see. Thanks.
October 15, 2012 at 20:59 |
moises
moises
Alan's explanation is good. If you're in a funk, make a single FV chain containing only what you really will do today. At the extreme, you put down the root task (non-negotiable) and just one other thing you know you will do (either from the list or just added off the top of your head). Do that one other thing, and if you can "open the file" to spend a few minutes on the root, you could say you're done for the day – at least you did what you said you would do. If the root task is too dreadful to start on, append something else to the open chain that you decide you will do. Repeat until the day is done. If you never got to the root, remind yourself that you did everything you said you would, and the root task wasn't part of it. As Scarlett says, "Tomorrow … is another day."
October 15, 2012 at 22:21 |
ubi
ubi
"Given that today feels like it will be one of those days, what am I more likely to do than X?"
Don't think I like that one, but might help break a bad pattern.
Don't think I like that one, but might help break a bad pattern.
October 16, 2012 at 16:40 |
Cricket
Cricket
Do you let go of your time management system, or use it to find something to do to get you out of the funk, or what?