Discussion Forum > My "Deep Focus" journey - Part 7 - Transforming Habits - Another Example
Hi Seraphim
This series is excellent. For me, (even before disabilities) it was always getting past my attitude. Before I came to this site, I just mentally flagellated myself to do what I was supposed to. Since I was a child, I've always had to do this. Now, thanks to Mark's DIT and the many nuggets of wisdom and tricks, it's far easier for me to get started. I won't lie. When I'm stalemated, getting started is still a challenge but it's far less tortuous since I've learned some of these tricks. Unlike Mark, my resistance doesn't disappear. I still have to apply effort to approach the dreaded work. The improvement is that the workarounds make me feel less trepidation vs it actually being any easier. LOL! I appreciate any methods that help with the stalemate. p.s. I returned my wireless router. When I'm particularly stubborn or fearful, I'll put the ethernet cable in the car because the internet is a great escape. I feel like a monkey hitting the lever to get a pellet, and another pellet, and another pellet. The internet for naturally curious people is our version of a crack addiction. LOL! People have asked me why I have to hide the ethernet cable. Why can't I just use discipline. I say, "Frankly, I don't know why but in the meanwhile before I ever find the answer (probably genetic), hiding the ethernet cable does the trick." LOL! For decades I've experienced this. I approach it as coping not cure. I'd probably drive myself batty if I actually looked for a silver bullet. LOL! BTW, I did try somebody's idea of mixing SMEMA with drawing numbers. I take the SMEMA entries from my day's MITs and throw in a couple of wild cards. The SMEMA method with randomization really helps to turn down the heat a bit. You guys are the greatest.
This series is excellent. For me, (even before disabilities) it was always getting past my attitude. Before I came to this site, I just mentally flagellated myself to do what I was supposed to. Since I was a child, I've always had to do this. Now, thanks to Mark's DIT and the many nuggets of wisdom and tricks, it's far easier for me to get started. I won't lie. When I'm stalemated, getting started is still a challenge but it's far less tortuous since I've learned some of these tricks. Unlike Mark, my resistance doesn't disappear. I still have to apply effort to approach the dreaded work. The improvement is that the workarounds make me feel less trepidation vs it actually being any easier. LOL! I appreciate any methods that help with the stalemate. p.s. I returned my wireless router. When I'm particularly stubborn or fearful, I'll put the ethernet cable in the car because the internet is a great escape. I feel like a monkey hitting the lever to get a pellet, and another pellet, and another pellet. The internet for naturally curious people is our version of a crack addiction. LOL! People have asked me why I have to hide the ethernet cable. Why can't I just use discipline. I say, "Frankly, I don't know why but in the meanwhile before I ever find the answer (probably genetic), hiding the ethernet cable does the trick." LOL! For decades I've experienced this. I approach it as coping not cure. I'd probably drive myself batty if I actually looked for a silver bullet. LOL! BTW, I did try somebody's idea of mixing SMEMA with drawing numbers. I take the SMEMA entries from my day's MITs and throw in a couple of wild cards. The SMEMA method with randomization really helps to turn down the heat a bit. You guys are the greatest.
January 31, 2014 at 8:24 |
learning as I go
learning as I go
p.s.
It's not really pure SMEMA because I do refer to my list to create each itteration. Plus I add wild cards vs adding leisure to the list. I just take a break when I need it because having leisure items on my work list would be unnecessarily tasking my willpower. LOL!
It's not really pure SMEMA because I do refer to my list to create each itteration. Plus I add wild cards vs adding leisure to the list. I just take a break when I need it because having leisure items on my work list would be unnecessarily tasking my willpower. LOL!
January 31, 2014 at 8:34 |
learning as I go
learning as I go
Here is another example, which I’ve already mentioned in another post ( http://markforster.squarespace.com/forum/post/2265905#post2270699 ) – whenever I started to feel overwhelmed, I would try to escape from the big pile of OVERWHELMING BACKLOG, and go exploring for some new TIME MANAGEMENT TOY to magically solve all my woes. I would always find SOMETHING, and it would keep me happy and excited for a few weeks.
OK, so how to deal with this habit? I had to think through the trigger and reward. The trigger was pretty easy to identify, since it’s an old buddy of mine: CHRONIC OVERWHELM. And the reward is well-known in the society of time-management junkies like myself: a bright new shiny time management toy that makes me feel motivated and excited and gives me hope that I have finally found the great new system that will solve all my time management woes once and for all. (Or at least one of the missing ingredients!)
I’m still trying to tackle this one… But I’ve made a lot of progress. For one thing, I found that the reward wasn’t really the “time management toy”. The REAL reward was the sense of being back in control, of getting into “the flow”, of seeing things happen, projects moving forward, the right things getting done, feeling on top of my work. Control and freedom and accomplishment – or at least a feeling of it. So, to really change this behavior permanently, I had to find real answers to this problem: why does the overwhelm keep happening, and what can I do about it. I already know the answer to that: it’s mainly because of overcommitment. The best solution would be to figure out how to be happy DOING LESS – as Mark recently reposted (http://markforster.squarespace.com/blog/2007/5/14/in-praise-of-doing-nothing.html ). But my wife and I have reviewed the commitments we have over and over, and have simply decided to live with it.
So what to do when the overwhelm happens?
The thing about the TM toys is that some of them actually do help, and become a permanent part of the way I manage my work. I *like* to look for better ways to manage my work. Also, I’ve been reading more about Lean principles, and the Lean people make a pretty strong case that “continuous improvement” really never ends! So the problem isn’t with trying to find better tools and methods. The problem is when I think “finally, I have found THE ANSWER!” and get all excited, and re-arrange all my computer files and papers and desk arrangement to accommodate THE ANSWER, and finally get back up and running full speed a week later.
So, what new behavior can I institute to address this? What can I do to deal with the overwhelm, and get back in control, re-establish the feeling of freedom, of being on top of my work? Here is what I’ve been doing, and it’s working pretty well. I just take a big sheet of paper, go sit somewhere AWAY FROM MY COMPUTER, and do a big brain dump of all the things that are bothering me. I may start with my kanban board, and start moving Stickies around, or just scribbling and drawing circles and arrows. I may start with a blank sheet. I always have a few stacks of blank Stickies with me. And I start to identify priorities and bottlenecks and trouble areas. The kanban approach lends itself well to this, since it’s already a visual representation of my work, spread out and organized on a large sheet. I come away from this feeling much better about my work, with a sense of where I need to focus to break through the bottleneck.
OK, so I have a new behavior that seems to work. The real trick is getting myself to FOLLOW the behavior whenever the trigger occurs. I’m getting better at it. Mainly it means just taking my kanban sheet off the wall, getting AWAY from my computer, grabbing some more large sheets of paper and stickies, or maybe a large pad of paper, and finding some table space somewhere to spread out for half an hour. I still resist this, and would rather surf the Internet, and read all about how Reqall.com can collect your to-dos and feed them back to you automatically at the right time in the right context etc. But I’m getting better at it, and actually found myself doing it without thinking this morning, when I woke up with a headache, was feeling overwhelmed and didn’t know where to start. I just grabbed my papers and my kanban and sat at my desk and worked through it, and even remembered to use my Pomodoro timer! So I am making progress.