Discussion Forum > Habits and attitudes that are holding me back
Lately, I've made the most progress by focusing a lot of conscious attention on my habits and attitudes, and trying to consciously craft the routines and habits that will give me the kind of day I really want. A big part of this process is establishing boundaries within my daily routine.
For example, I have found it's important for me to establish the right momentum for the day, as soon as I wake up, by following a routine that I've designed to get me moving in the right direction.
I've also found that a key element for this morning routine to be effective, is that my EVENING routine must be effective. Basically, I need to make sure I get to bed on time, that I haven't had caffeine in my system for awhile, etc.
These bedtime and morning routines are some of the boundaries that I've set for myself. These boundaries work for me, because they then allow me to establish the times during the day when I can be free to focus on the important things I want to do with my time. The boundaries give me a very clear idea of how much time I actually have -- which is a big help in allowing me to focus on what really matters. Otherwise I tend to imagine I have infinite time and can just keep working till I drop -- which isn't sustainable (only took me ten years to figure out, duh!). :-)
So anyway, yes, this is self-limiting -- but from my point of view, it's the RIGHT KIND of self-limiting. You have to say "NO" to some things, so you can say "YES" to others. For me, cleaning the bathroom at 10 PM would be the wrong kind of "YES" because it would definitely have a negative impact for me the next day -- it just wouldn't be worth the cost.
Maybe you have different requirements on your schedule and routine, so maybe it would be OK for you to say "YES" to this -- maybe it would just be an arbitrary distinction to say "NO" to 10pm bathroom cleaning. I guess it depends on what kind of boundaries and routines work best for you. I think your key insight here is it all depends on what kind of habits and attitudes you really want to cultivate. Charles Duhigg The Power Of Habit is a great resource here.
For example, I have found it's important for me to establish the right momentum for the day, as soon as I wake up, by following a routine that I've designed to get me moving in the right direction.
I've also found that a key element for this morning routine to be effective, is that my EVENING routine must be effective. Basically, I need to make sure I get to bed on time, that I haven't had caffeine in my system for awhile, etc.
These bedtime and morning routines are some of the boundaries that I've set for myself. These boundaries work for me, because they then allow me to establish the times during the day when I can be free to focus on the important things I want to do with my time. The boundaries give me a very clear idea of how much time I actually have -- which is a big help in allowing me to focus on what really matters. Otherwise I tend to imagine I have infinite time and can just keep working till I drop -- which isn't sustainable (only took me ten years to figure out, duh!). :-)
So anyway, yes, this is self-limiting -- but from my point of view, it's the RIGHT KIND of self-limiting. You have to say "NO" to some things, so you can say "YES" to others. For me, cleaning the bathroom at 10 PM would be the wrong kind of "YES" because it would definitely have a negative impact for me the next day -- it just wouldn't be worth the cost.
Maybe you have different requirements on your schedule and routine, so maybe it would be OK for you to say "YES" to this -- maybe it would just be an arbitrary distinction to say "NO" to 10pm bathroom cleaning. I guess it depends on what kind of boundaries and routines work best for you. I think your key insight here is it all depends on what kind of habits and attitudes you really want to cultivate. Charles Duhigg The Power Of Habit is a great resource here.
October 26, 2014 at 23:03 |
Seraphim
Seraphim
Margaret and Seraphim:
You've both raised some very important issues here - and coincidentally ones which are fundamental to my new book.
Here are a few observations:
1) The point of routines is to "automate" low-level activities so that you don't have to think about them. This frees your mind so that you are able to carry out higher level activities without hindrance. Example: an artist whose work is constantly interrupted by running out of paints because he or she hasn't developed a decent ordering system.
2) If you use a good time management system you will find that you naturally fall into a daily routine. Generally speaking this is a good thing because it is all part of automating the routine activities of one's day. The danger comes if you are over committed, in which case rather than freeing your mind to work on higher-level work you may be suffocating it in unnecessary lower-level trivia.
3) I can't overestimate the importance of getting these lower-level routines right. In fact routines come in a sort of hierarchy so that as you progress you are developing new routines at higher and higher levels.
You've both raised some very important issues here - and coincidentally ones which are fundamental to my new book.
Here are a few observations:
1) The point of routines is to "automate" low-level activities so that you don't have to think about them. This frees your mind so that you are able to carry out higher level activities without hindrance. Example: an artist whose work is constantly interrupted by running out of paints because he or she hasn't developed a decent ordering system.
2) If you use a good time management system you will find that you naturally fall into a daily routine. Generally speaking this is a good thing because it is all part of automating the routine activities of one's day. The danger comes if you are over committed, in which case rather than freeing your mind to work on higher-level work you may be suffocating it in unnecessary lower-level trivia.
3) I can't overestimate the importance of getting these lower-level routines right. In fact routines come in a sort of hierarchy so that as you progress you are developing new routines at higher and higher levels.
October 27, 2014 at 9:52 |
Mark Forster
Mark Forster
Thanks for your comments, Seraphim and Mark. I do have morning and evening routines - sometimes I even manage to follow them!
I think what's holding me back is that I refuse to do certain tasks in the evening, because I think of the evening as purely leisure time. And if I have bunked off and spent the morning and/or afternoon avoiding working my list, it would make sense to do some tasks from the list in the evening, but if they're tasks that I mentally (but totally illogically) label as only suitable for the daytime, I won't do them, even though I easily could.
So I'm wondering if I can change my mental attitude so that I allow myself to do ANY task at ANY time of day (Mark's randomiser method would be great for that) and to work my list into the evenings instead of stopping at dinnertime. For instance, what's to stop me watching TV for an hour or two in the morning, and working on a project in the evening? I feel that may work better for me than my usual method of forcing myself to do the unpleasant/boring tasks before I'm allowed to do the pleasant tasks. Forcing myself to do tasks I'm resisting doesn't put me in the best frame of mind for continuing to work the list, whereas doing fun stuff from the list could well put me in a good frame of mind to do the tasks that I'm feeling resistance to.
Worth a try, I think.
I think what's holding me back is that I refuse to do certain tasks in the evening, because I think of the evening as purely leisure time. And if I have bunked off and spent the morning and/or afternoon avoiding working my list, it would make sense to do some tasks from the list in the evening, but if they're tasks that I mentally (but totally illogically) label as only suitable for the daytime, I won't do them, even though I easily could.
So I'm wondering if I can change my mental attitude so that I allow myself to do ANY task at ANY time of day (Mark's randomiser method would be great for that) and to work my list into the evenings instead of stopping at dinnertime. For instance, what's to stop me watching TV for an hour or two in the morning, and working on a project in the evening? I feel that may work better for me than my usual method of forcing myself to do the unpleasant/boring tasks before I'm allowed to do the pleasant tasks. Forcing myself to do tasks I'm resisting doesn't put me in the best frame of mind for continuing to work the list, whereas doing fun stuff from the list could well put me in a good frame of mind to do the tasks that I'm feeling resistance to.
Worth a try, I think.
October 27, 2014 at 17:59 |
Margaret1
Margaret1
Margaret1:
If you have no constraints on when you can do certain types of task, then there's certainly no reason why you can't do any type of task at any time of day. That's been my own practice for a long time and it's worked fine. What I've found is that even with that attitude I naturally fall into the daily routine which I mentioned above - but it's a different routine from what I would have if I though in terms of the day being for work and the evening for leisure.
Certainly worth the try.
If you have no constraints on when you can do certain types of task, then there's certainly no reason why you can't do any type of task at any time of day. That's been my own practice for a long time and it's worked fine. What I've found is that even with that attitude I naturally fall into the daily routine which I mentioned above - but it's a different routine from what I would have if I though in terms of the day being for work and the evening for leisure.
Certainly worth the try.
October 27, 2014 at 19:00 |
Mark Forster
Mark Forster
Margaret1:
1) What Mark said in his second comment is also my experience. Use an Autofocus system to develop the daily structure which is best for you.
2) This of course prerequisites that you trust the system (part of the rules of Autofocus.) You seem not to do that. It sounds as if you want to override the system's choices with your "attitude" (sorry, just using the word you picked yourself :-).)
3) I tend to do housekeeping stuff in the morning for the perfectly logical reason that lighting conditions are best in the early hours. It's just easier to do if you don't have to switch the lights on to even see (barely) what you are doing. Also sometimes cleaning triggers an errand which is also easier to do if the shops are still open.
1) What Mark said in his second comment is also my experience. Use an Autofocus system to develop the daily structure which is best for you.
2) This of course prerequisites that you trust the system (part of the rules of Autofocus.) You seem not to do that. It sounds as if you want to override the system's choices with your "attitude" (sorry, just using the word you picked yourself :-).)
3) I tend to do housekeeping stuff in the morning for the perfectly logical reason that lighting conditions are best in the early hours. It's just easier to do if you don't have to switch the lights on to even see (barely) what you are doing. Also sometimes cleaning triggers an errand which is also easier to do if the shops are still open.
October 28, 2014 at 15:06 |
Christopher
Christopher
Thanks, Christopher. Your reference to AF actually helps me explain what I'm getting at. When using AF, you choose the task that 'stands out', but my problem is that a task won't stand out for me if I think it belongs only to a specific time of day - but in fact it's only my attitude (or viewpoint, if you prefer) that makes that judgement. The reality is that the task could be done at any time of day. As you say, you choose to do certain tasks at certain times for a valid, logical reason (as in your example of cleaning when there's good light) and I do that too. However, I have many tasks that I believe to be related to a specific time, but they're not, and it's those tasks that I want to stand out at any time of day.
Incidentally, I would have the same dilemma whether I was using AF, FV or any other system of Mark's that left me to make the choice, rather than using a randomising method to take away the element of choice.
Following advice from Seraphim and Mark, I made up an hour-by-hour schedule for today, allocating certain times for my daily routine tasks and certain times for projects. This schedule will only be for days that I have no other outside arrangements, but it's a start. Too early yet to say how it's going, but at least I've stuck to it. Previous attempts at this type of time-blocking have fallen by the wayside because sometimes I find it too constricting being told what to do at a particular time (even when it's myself that's doing the telling!).
(On a lighter note, isn't it funny that nowadays the word 'attitude' is often taken to mean 'bad attitude' - similarly, the innocent phrase 'just saying' is used by people who have just made a nasty comment and think that by adding 'just saying', they can't be censured. Really interesting how language changes all the time).
Best wishes.
Incidentally, I would have the same dilemma whether I was using AF, FV or any other system of Mark's that left me to make the choice, rather than using a randomising method to take away the element of choice.
Following advice from Seraphim and Mark, I made up an hour-by-hour schedule for today, allocating certain times for my daily routine tasks and certain times for projects. This schedule will only be for days that I have no other outside arrangements, but it's a start. Too early yet to say how it's going, but at least I've stuck to it. Previous attempts at this type of time-blocking have fallen by the wayside because sometimes I find it too constricting being told what to do at a particular time (even when it's myself that's doing the telling!).
(On a lighter note, isn't it funny that nowadays the word 'attitude' is often taken to mean 'bad attitude' - similarly, the innocent phrase 'just saying' is used by people who have just made a nasty comment and think that by adding 'just saying', they can't be censured. Really interesting how language changes all the time).
Best wishes.
October 28, 2014 at 17:45 |
Margaret1
Margaret1
Margaret1:
<< When using AF, you choose the task that 'stands out', but my problem is that a task won't stand out for me if I think it belongs only to a specific time of day - but in fact it's only my attitude (or viewpoint, if you prefer) that makes that judgement. >>
It's important to realise that "standing out" is a process that is under your conscious control. If you direct your mind that tasks can be done at any time of day, then they will stand out at any time of day. It's as simple as that. You don't need a complicated schedule to make it happen.
<< When using AF, you choose the task that 'stands out', but my problem is that a task won't stand out for me if I think it belongs only to a specific time of day - but in fact it's only my attitude (or viewpoint, if you prefer) that makes that judgement. >>
It's important to realise that "standing out" is a process that is under your conscious control. If you direct your mind that tasks can be done at any time of day, then they will stand out at any time of day. It's as simple as that. You don't need a complicated schedule to make it happen.
October 28, 2014 at 19:39 |
Mark Forster
Mark Forster
Yes, Mark - and already my complicated schedule is feeling more like a burden than a help, although I've only used it for one day, and that's not long enough to be any sort of realistic test. I wasn't actually using AF anyway - I chop and change systems like a kid that can't make up its mind at a pick-and-mix counter.
I love the simplicity of AF, but I have to be very careful not to overload it, which tended to happen if I used the list to capture everything that came into my head. I think AF would work well for me if I only put things on the list that are commitments, to myself or others, and further limit it to between now and Christmas. (I think in a previous thread you recommended only putting commitments on the list). I could keep a separate list for capturing everything else, and have a task on the AF list to 'Check capture list'.
I also like to have a clear idea of what i MUST do on a particular day, so I use an A5 day-per-page diary for noting down 'must-do' actions relating to actual commitments. It started off as a DIT system, but I was adding a huge number of 'someday/maybe' tasks that drowned out the must-do and should-do tasks related to a particular date, and this also convinced me that I need a separate capture list for someday/maybe tasks.
I need to feel inspired and excited to tackle my list of things I need to do, whatever system I'm using, and that inspiration does not usually come from a prescriptive schedule. What does inspire me is a system that feels like fun, and randomisation certainly fits the bill.
I'm tempted to make a brand new start tomorrow, using AF, but instead of writing it in a notebook, I could write it on tomorrow's date in the A5 diary (which already contains must-do tasks for my upcoming commitments, on the relevant dates). Any maybe I could use randomisation in some way too.
Oh no - here I go again - chop and change, chop and change.
I love the simplicity of AF, but I have to be very careful not to overload it, which tended to happen if I used the list to capture everything that came into my head. I think AF would work well for me if I only put things on the list that are commitments, to myself or others, and further limit it to between now and Christmas. (I think in a previous thread you recommended only putting commitments on the list). I could keep a separate list for capturing everything else, and have a task on the AF list to 'Check capture list'.
I also like to have a clear idea of what i MUST do on a particular day, so I use an A5 day-per-page diary for noting down 'must-do' actions relating to actual commitments. It started off as a DIT system, but I was adding a huge number of 'someday/maybe' tasks that drowned out the must-do and should-do tasks related to a particular date, and this also convinced me that I need a separate capture list for someday/maybe tasks.
I need to feel inspired and excited to tackle my list of things I need to do, whatever system I'm using, and that inspiration does not usually come from a prescriptive schedule. What does inspire me is a system that feels like fun, and randomisation certainly fits the bill.
I'm tempted to make a brand new start tomorrow, using AF, but instead of writing it in a notebook, I could write it on tomorrow's date in the A5 diary (which already contains must-do tasks for my upcoming commitments, on the relevant dates). Any maybe I could use randomisation in some way too.
Oh no - here I go again - chop and change, chop and change.
October 28, 2014 at 21:00 |
Margaret1
Margaret1
When I try to "eat the frog first", I'm always afraid that I'll spend all day eating frogs, and end up doing something low-value to rebel. I know, objectively, that as long as I don't have too many frogs, I'll have enough time to play. I've see Mom do it all my life, most of her frogs first, every day, and several hours a day to rest. I also know that if I put in the hours first, I'll see quite quickly if the bucket is too full, and be able to make a conscious decision which frogs to drop. But there's resistance.
I try to do housework early, since it's a frog, and my routines and self-discipline feel strongest then, but right before the kids get home is also a disciplined time, since it's a deadline. My most productive phases are physical in the morning and desk in the afternoon. (I keep telling myself that after the kids come home might be a great time to do housework. I can't do deskwork while they're wired from school, and seeing that it's me, rather than a Brownie, doing it, might reduce the "It's not fair!" when I ask them to help.)
Margaret, you probably do have morning and evening routines, they're just not the ones you've written down. Morning: Get up, grab coffee in pj's, turn on TV. Evening: Turn off TV, finish coffee from pot, decide to ignore dishes, change, brush teeth, bed. (I'm currently falling back into the "just a few minutes online before back to work" routine. Is Friday enough of an excuse?)
I'm currently experimenting with getting into my workout clothes before leaving the bedroom. So far, about 2/3 success rate with actually exercising, which is far higher than eating breakfast, going to my room, and getting lured into the shower rather than my workout clothes.
I need to treat it all as an experiment, otherwise I agonize over which order I should do things.
Randomizer might help break (or at least highlight) assumptions about when things should / shouldn't be done.
I try to do housework early, since it's a frog, and my routines and self-discipline feel strongest then, but right before the kids get home is also a disciplined time, since it's a deadline. My most productive phases are physical in the morning and desk in the afternoon. (I keep telling myself that after the kids come home might be a great time to do housework. I can't do deskwork while they're wired from school, and seeing that it's me, rather than a Brownie, doing it, might reduce the "It's not fair!" when I ask them to help.)
Margaret, you probably do have morning and evening routines, they're just not the ones you've written down. Morning: Get up, grab coffee in pj's, turn on TV. Evening: Turn off TV, finish coffee from pot, decide to ignore dishes, change, brush teeth, bed. (I'm currently falling back into the "just a few minutes online before back to work" routine. Is Friday enough of an excuse?)
I'm currently experimenting with getting into my workout clothes before leaving the bedroom. So far, about 2/3 success rate with actually exercising, which is far higher than eating breakfast, going to my room, and getting lured into the shower rather than my workout clothes.
I need to treat it all as an experiment, otherwise I agonize over which order I should do things.
Randomizer might help break (or at least highlight) assumptions about when things should / shouldn't be done.
October 31, 2014 at 14:25 |
Cricket
Cricket
Just wondering if there's a problem with creating posts - I tried 5 times today to add a new post on this thread. Here goes again!
November 1, 2014 at 23:41 |
Margaret1
Margaret1
Sometimes it gives a captcha, sometimes more than one, and sometimes it asks you to confirm. I've been burned often, especially after a long time typing. Stay on the page until it actually shows the post. I sometimes to do long posts in NotePad, then copy the text, so it isn't lost.
November 2, 2014 at 1:31 |
Cricket
Cricket
Thanks, Cricket - the captchas were the problem, none of my entries were accepted, even when I tried multiple ones. And I did copy the text I wanted to send into another document, so here it is:
Thanks for your comments, Cricket. I did have a laugh at your take on my morning and evening 'routines'. Thankfully I'm not as slovenly as that.
I'm still in the very early stages of trying a new system based on AF. Tasks are entered in a day-per-page diary and I'm processing it using AF. Tasks are limited to commitments between now and Christmas. Any other tasks that spring to mind are put on a capture list and 'Check capture list' is a recurring task in the main list. It means that 'must-do-today' tasks show up clearly on the day they need to be done.
Time will tell how successful it is and whether there are drawbacks.
Thanks for your comments, Cricket. I did have a laugh at your take on my morning and evening 'routines'. Thankfully I'm not as slovenly as that.
I'm still in the very early stages of trying a new system based on AF. Tasks are entered in a day-per-page diary and I'm processing it using AF. Tasks are limited to commitments between now and Christmas. Any other tasks that spring to mind are put on a capture list and 'Check capture list' is a recurring task in the main list. It means that 'must-do-today' tasks show up clearly on the day they need to be done.
Time will tell how successful it is and whether there are drawbacks.
November 2, 2014 at 11:40 |
Margaret1
Margaret1
Margaret1:
Sorry, you are having this trouble. You used to have an account with this forum in the days before the captcha was introduced. That is still valid and if you can remember the password, you could sign on and bypass the captchas.
Otherwise let me know and I can reset the password for you.
Sorry, you are having this trouble. You used to have an account with this forum in the days before the captcha was introduced. That is still valid and if you can remember the password, you could sign on and bypass the captchas.
Otherwise let me know and I can reset the password for you.
November 2, 2014 at 23:04 |
Mark Forster
Mark Forster
I have an account, and still get the captcha often.
Margaret, your system sounds similar to mine, but I use a single spread for the entire week. The left side is planning. The right side is capture. Part of the left side is a grid for things I want to do most days, rather than listing it for each day. Plus separate sheets if I want to focus on a shorter list for a while. Each week then becomes an AF1 page.
I'm thinking of adding a One Thing grid. I've only read sound-bytes of the system, but it looks like for each plate / role / goal / project / value you plan one thing each day / week / month. Most of the time, they'll line up nicely. Each day's thing supports the week's thing which supports the month's thing. Not always, though. Sometimes today's action supports a different part of the bigger goal.
My challenge these days is returning to the list after each task, instead of getting distracted.
Margaret, your system sounds similar to mine, but I use a single spread for the entire week. The left side is planning. The right side is capture. Part of the left side is a grid for things I want to do most days, rather than listing it for each day. Plus separate sheets if I want to focus on a shorter list for a while. Each week then becomes an AF1 page.
I'm thinking of adding a One Thing grid. I've only read sound-bytes of the system, but it looks like for each plate / role / goal / project / value you plan one thing each day / week / month. Most of the time, they'll line up nicely. Each day's thing supports the week's thing which supports the month's thing. Not always, though. Sometimes today's action supports a different part of the bigger goal.
My challenge these days is returning to the list after each task, instead of getting distracted.
November 4, 2014 at 17:43 |
Cricket
Cricket
Cricket:
<< I have an account, and still get the captcha often. >>
That's interesting. I'm surprised by that, especially as you are a regular poster who always signs in to your account.
I'm just wondering how often is "often". You posted without signing in on 8 September, so you would have been asked for a captcha then. I haven't gone any further back, but I'd be interested to know whether you reckon you've been asked for a captcha more recently than that.
<< I have an account, and still get the captcha often. >>
That's interesting. I'm surprised by that, especially as you are a regular poster who always signs in to your account.
I'm just wondering how often is "often". You posted without signing in on 8 September, so you would have been asked for a captcha then. I haven't gone any further back, but I'd be interested to know whether you reckon you've been asked for a captcha more recently than that.
November 5, 2014 at 11:33 |
Mark Forster
Mark Forster
When I visit the site, I always start with this link:
http://markforster.squarespace.com/login/?returnUrl=%2Fforum%2F
It forces me to log in, so I can always avoid the captcha.
http://markforster.squarespace.com/login/?returnUrl=%2Fforum%2F
It forces me to log in, so I can always avoid the captcha.
November 6, 2014 at 0:28 |
Seraphim
Seraphim
Your system sounds good, Cricket. I too have a list of daily routines so that I don't need to write re-write them every day, and I just write 'daily routines' on my AF list (my day-per-page diary) and concentrate on getting those tasks done before I start anything else.
I'm working on setting up routines for as many ongoing commitments as possible (housework, shopping etc.) and adding them to the list on the appropriate day.
I'm also back-scheduling projects from their deadline (or from my desired completion date; if there's no actual deadline). So f I estimate that it will take 20 hours to complete, and decide that I want it complete it by the end of November, I allocate 1 hour a day to that project, writing it on the list for each of the next 20 days.
I'm also back-scheduling one-off events such as appointments, social engagements etc, asking myself what needs to be done one, two, three days before the event, and writing those tasks into the list on the appropriate date.
One of Mark's gems that has stuck in my mind from a long while back, is that when you open up a new diary and look at the blank pages for the next week/year/month, it's tempting to think that they really are blank. But they're actually full of all the things that you have to do every day, and full of all the commitments you will have made, and full of all the things you will need to do to honour those commitment deadlines, and full of all the things that will arise unexpectedly; so you need to bear all that in mind before you decide what new commitments to take on.
I'm working on setting up routines for as many ongoing commitments as possible (housework, shopping etc.) and adding them to the list on the appropriate day.
I'm also back-scheduling projects from their deadline (or from my desired completion date; if there's no actual deadline). So f I estimate that it will take 20 hours to complete, and decide that I want it complete it by the end of November, I allocate 1 hour a day to that project, writing it on the list for each of the next 20 days.
I'm also back-scheduling one-off events such as appointments, social engagements etc, asking myself what needs to be done one, two, three days before the event, and writing those tasks into the list on the appropriate date.
One of Mark's gems that has stuck in my mind from a long while back, is that when you open up a new diary and look at the blank pages for the next week/year/month, it's tempting to think that they really are blank. But they're actually full of all the things that you have to do every day, and full of all the commitments you will have made, and full of all the things you will need to do to honour those commitment deadlines, and full of all the things that will arise unexpectedly; so you need to bear all that in mind before you decide what new commitments to take on.
November 6, 2014 at 11:33 |
Margaret1
Margaret1
I get a capture every session or two, so maybe every 5-10 posts. Possibly more often on long posts, but no records to support that. I usually go into the forums before logging in, then click Reply, get asked for identity, open new tab to log in (using link on upper right), then come back to the page for the reply and hit refresh.
Seraphim, I've now bookmarked the login page. Great idea!
Seraphim, I've now bookmarked the login page. Great idea!
November 6, 2014 at 18:57 |
Cricket
Cricket
I prefer listing the routines out in a bit more detail, so I get rewarded by checking something off every half hour or so. Assuming I actually go back to the book.
Or I did.
I'm experimenting with habits. For things I want to do daily-ish, finishing one thing is a trigger for another, and build the reward into the task (detailed rehearsal log next to the piano, see the pages fill, that comes to my lesson with me, so I can show my teacher and see her smile). No need to wander past the distractions to my desk to reward myself with a checkmark. I want the habit chain to be A-B-C, not A-desk-B-desk-C-desk. I might still keep that level of detail in my plans, though, just so I don't under-estimate the time they take.
I'm reading Duhigg's The Power of Habit, and am very impressed. It's adding an extra layer to how I look at habits and routines. Many willpower programs, such as "when ... I will," have part of it, but are incomplete. Even the Pomodoro Technique. Habit is work for 25 minutes, then get a rewarding break. Looking back at when habits and routines worked for me and when they didn't, the patterns in my own life match the patterns in the book. Could be a case of "when the student is ready," and other changes starting to pay off, but I'm finally feeling optimistic about those changes sticking.
Well-worth reading. Unlike many self-help books, the soundbyte won't do it justice.
(Terminology: I use "routine" to mean a chain of habits. The book uses it to mean an undocumented institutional habit, often solving problems and keeping things working smoothly, but with a risk of being bandages over real problems.)
Yes! Backscheduling is invaluable. I usually add a few days for printer running out of ink and getting the flu. Even when I don't follow the schedule, it helps, since I'm more aware of how long it's likely to take. Actually allocating it into your book is a great idea. Sure, those five deadlines are 20 days away. Plenty of time to work on them. Except...that's three hours a day just on those future deadlines, in addition to everything else. Often a necessary eye-opener.
<One of Mark's gems that has stuck in my mind from a long while back, is that when you open up a new diary and look at the blank pages for the next week/year/month, it's tempting to think that they really are blank. But they're actually full of all the things that you have to do every day, and full of all the commitments you will have made, and full of all the things you will need to do to honour those commitment deadlines, and full of all the things that will arise unexpectedly; so you need to bear all that in mind before you decide what new commitments to take on.>
I'd missed that one -- very glad you brought it up. I'm at the too-much-success stage, between major projects, when it's all too easy to take on too much. No taking on more until my backlogs are clear, including those in hibernation.
Or I did.
I'm experimenting with habits. For things I want to do daily-ish, finishing one thing is a trigger for another, and build the reward into the task (detailed rehearsal log next to the piano, see the pages fill, that comes to my lesson with me, so I can show my teacher and see her smile). No need to wander past the distractions to my desk to reward myself with a checkmark. I want the habit chain to be A-B-C, not A-desk-B-desk-C-desk. I might still keep that level of detail in my plans, though, just so I don't under-estimate the time they take.
I'm reading Duhigg's The Power of Habit, and am very impressed. It's adding an extra layer to how I look at habits and routines. Many willpower programs, such as "when ... I will," have part of it, but are incomplete. Even the Pomodoro Technique. Habit is work for 25 minutes, then get a rewarding break. Looking back at when habits and routines worked for me and when they didn't, the patterns in my own life match the patterns in the book. Could be a case of "when the student is ready," and other changes starting to pay off, but I'm finally feeling optimistic about those changes sticking.
Well-worth reading. Unlike many self-help books, the soundbyte won't do it justice.
(Terminology: I use "routine" to mean a chain of habits. The book uses it to mean an undocumented institutional habit, often solving problems and keeping things working smoothly, but with a risk of being bandages over real problems.)
Yes! Backscheduling is invaluable. I usually add a few days for printer running out of ink and getting the flu. Even when I don't follow the schedule, it helps, since I'm more aware of how long it's likely to take. Actually allocating it into your book is a great idea. Sure, those five deadlines are 20 days away. Plenty of time to work on them. Except...that's three hours a day just on those future deadlines, in addition to everything else. Often a necessary eye-opener.
<One of Mark's gems that has stuck in my mind from a long while back, is that when you open up a new diary and look at the blank pages for the next week/year/month, it's tempting to think that they really are blank. But they're actually full of all the things that you have to do every day, and full of all the commitments you will have made, and full of all the things you will need to do to honour those commitment deadlines, and full of all the things that will arise unexpectedly; so you need to bear all that in mind before you decide what new commitments to take on.>
I'd missed that one -- very glad you brought it up. I'm at the too-much-success stage, between major projects, when it's all too easy to take on too much. No taking on more until my backlogs are clear, including those in hibernation.
November 6, 2014 at 19:18 |
Cricket
Cricket
And, more than half-way through the book. Too many footnotes saying, "That's not our version of events," for me to trust the author's interpretation about events in institutions. Compelling stories, just not sure if they're true. And Chapter 8, while interesting, is more about social pressure than habits, although they refer to the "habits of peer pressure". Could be I'm not in a place to use the lessons in the chapter. Might be worth a second read on another day.
November 6, 2014 at 20:35 |
Cricket
Cricket
<I'm at the too-much-success stage, between major projects, when it's all too easy to take on too much.>
I love that! So descriptive. I think I vacillate between the too-much-success stage and the don't-realize-i'm-topped-out stage, in both of which I take on too much. I've lately been practicing being aware of the limits of my resources.
I love that! So descriptive. I think I vacillate between the too-much-success stage and the don't-realize-i'm-topped-out stage, in both of which I take on too much. I've lately been practicing being aware of the limits of my resources.
November 7, 2014 at 10:51 |
Lenore
Lenore
Cricket:
<< I usually go into the forums before logging in, then click Reply, get asked for identity, open new tab to log in (using link on upper right), then come back to the page for the reply and hit refresh.>>
I haven't been able to reproduce your experience, particularly as I'm not clear what you mean by the "link on upper right". However I suspect the cause of so many captchas is the fact that you log in on a separate tab. I don't know why you do that, but I think it is probably the reason.
There is no need to use a separate tab. If you use the Log-In link at the bottom of the right margin it will return you to your current page once you are logged in.
There's also no need to click Reply before logging-in. It's easiest to Log-In as soon as you've decided you want to make a post, and then click Reply once the log-in has returned you to the page.
The problem with Seraphim's idea of bookmarking the Log-in link is that it will always return you to the General Forum Index page, which may not be where you want to be. Logging-in in the way I've described will always take you back to the page you were on when you decided to log-in, which presumably will be the one containing the post(s) you want to reply to.
<< I usually go into the forums before logging in, then click Reply, get asked for identity, open new tab to log in (using link on upper right), then come back to the page for the reply and hit refresh.>>
I haven't been able to reproduce your experience, particularly as I'm not clear what you mean by the "link on upper right". However I suspect the cause of so many captchas is the fact that you log in on a separate tab. I don't know why you do that, but I think it is probably the reason.
There is no need to use a separate tab. If you use the Log-In link at the bottom of the right margin it will return you to your current page once you are logged in.
There's also no need to click Reply before logging-in. It's easiest to Log-In as soon as you've decided you want to make a post, and then click Reply once the log-in has returned you to the page.
The problem with Seraphim's idea of bookmarking the Log-in link is that it will always return you to the General Forum Index page, which may not be where you want to be. Logging-in in the way I've described will always take you back to the page you were on when you decided to log-in, which presumably will be the one containing the post(s) you want to reply to.
November 7, 2014 at 11:12 |
Mark Forster
Mark Forster
Lenore, Mark's Spinning Plates analogy struck home for me. It's all too easy to start too many plates spinning, and then game the system and say that just opening the folder occasionally is enough to keep the plate spinning. (Opening the folder is a way to make a project seem less daunting, so you get off the couch.) I don't use the formal system exactly as he described it, but now I have a much smaller set of plates, some set down for the moment, and when I'm between crunches I respin one of those, rather than start up yet another. The image of the acrobat racing to keep all those plates spinning is more intrusive, and therefore effective, than other ways I've tried to limit over-confidence during a quiet time.
Mark, at the top right of the page, under "Recent Comments", is "Log In". Probably the same one you're looking at. It's "up" from where I'm looking, but not all the way up at the top.
Separate tabs, and clicking Reply are habits. With a separate tab, I can always go back to the page I was on, although then I have to Refresh so it has my identity. Since I almost always reply to something when I visit, going to the login page _first_, and then the forums, will work better for me. If I expected to read but not reply, then your way would work better.
It's only an annoyance, of which the internet has many, often not worth trouble-shooting, but in this case, we probably came up with a solution.
Mark, at the top right of the page, under "Recent Comments", is "Log In". Probably the same one you're looking at. It's "up" from where I'm looking, but not all the way up at the top.
Separate tabs, and clicking Reply are habits. With a separate tab, I can always go back to the page I was on, although then I have to Refresh so it has my identity. Since I almost always reply to something when I visit, going to the login page _first_, and then the forums, will work better for me. If I expected to read but not reply, then your way would work better.
It's only an annoyance, of which the internet has many, often not worth trouble-shooting, but in this case, we probably came up with a solution.
November 7, 2014 at 21:03 |
Cricket
Cricket
Cricket:
<< Since I almost always reply to something when I visit, going to the login page _first_, and then the forums, will work better for me. If I expected to read but not reply, then your way would work better. >>
I don't follow that at all, but whatever works for you.
<< Since I almost always reply to something when I visit, going to the login page _first_, and then the forums, will work better for me. If I expected to read but not reply, then your way would work better. >>
I don't follow that at all, but whatever works for you.
November 7, 2014 at 22:47 |
Mark Forster
Mark Forster
There are certain things that I associate with certain times, based only on my own attitudes. Of course there are the core activities that are best done at certain times (shower, breakfast, lunch, dinner), but I place other tasks into certain mental timeslots purely on the basis of my habits and my attitude.
For example, I look on laundry and housework as morning-only tasks, and I look on watching TV as an evening-only task. I don't work, and in theory all my time is discretionary time, so there's no logical or logistical reason why I can't watch TV in the morning and do housework in the evening. I very rarely use the evenings for anything other than pleasant activities, but if I'm serious about making progress on my projects and goals, surely the evening is a valid time to work on them. "Watch TV" is actually on my worklist, and I only watch programmes of great interest to me, rather than watching mindlessly. But in the bigger picture (for instance between now and Christmas), and being honest with myself, it would give me more satisfaction to have achieved Goals X, Y and Z than to have achieved "Watch 200 hours of interesting TV".
Similarly, I look on certain days of the week as suitable or not suitable for various tasks, based not on logic, but on my habits and attitudes. For example, on a weekday I would feel it was fine to spend a busy day working through my list of possible tasks, but I would feel it wasn't right to do that on a Saturday, because I 'should' be relaxing then and enjoying the weekend.
Most of my activity is based on getting the more unpleasant/boring tasks out of the way before I allow myself to do something pleasant/interesting. Again, I think that's a habit that is not serving me well. What tends to happen is that if, for some reason, I don't get through the unpleasant/boring tasks, I refuse to allow myself to do something pleasant/interesting and drift about doing nothing - it's a lose/lose situation. Whereas if I refused to do an unpleasant/boring task and did a pleasant one instead, at least it would be lose/win, because the pleasant task is also on my worklist.
I'm wondering if these habits and attitudes are holding me back from achieving all the things I want to, and whether there's a more creative way to use time.
Does this sound familiar to anyone else? Here's to cleaning the bathroom at 1000pm!