Discussion Forum > Thanks for Listening
Well, as one who reads avidly in this group but doesn't participate very deeply, I didn't realise all this was going on with you, Cricket. All the best with this, and I hope you can keep sharing your wisdom with us.
November 13, 2014 at 0:11 |
Chris Cooper
Chris Cooper
Hey Cricket -
I'm mostly just a reader here, but needed to write when I saw this! Definitely don't get to freaked by the OCPD diagnosis - I was diagnosed with it when I was 12, and after a round of cognitive-behavioral therapy had the skills to manage the down-sides. On the up-side, I went to a top university, am now going for a PhD, have more self-discipline and success achieving goals than most other people, *and* I've figured out how to stay plugged into a community and spirituality. It sounds corny but I'm actually really happy with things overall. The struggle taught me a lot about myself and philosophy, and the benefits serve me every day.
Yea, it means you can fall down the research rabbit hole, and changing between Mark's systems can become a bit of an addiction, but if it's not out of control and doing harm, just think of it as another person's nightly TV binge or bowl of ice cream, with the added benefit of not harming your health :-)
Hugs and best wishes.
I'm mostly just a reader here, but needed to write when I saw this! Definitely don't get to freaked by the OCPD diagnosis - I was diagnosed with it when I was 12, and after a round of cognitive-behavioral therapy had the skills to manage the down-sides. On the up-side, I went to a top university, am now going for a PhD, have more self-discipline and success achieving goals than most other people, *and* I've figured out how to stay plugged into a community and spirituality. It sounds corny but I'm actually really happy with things overall. The struggle taught me a lot about myself and philosophy, and the benefits serve me every day.
Yea, it means you can fall down the research rabbit hole, and changing between Mark's systems can become a bit of an addiction, but if it's not out of control and doing harm, just think of it as another person's nightly TV binge or bowl of ice cream, with the added benefit of not harming your health :-)
Hugs and best wishes.
November 13, 2014 at 1:09 |
Katie
Katie
Chris, Thanks. Some days it feels like nothing. Other days it feels like I'm making a big deal about small things. The day after seeing the psychiatrist is, naturally, a day I obsessed. I used to be a very highly productive person, before quitting work to raise the family. The ADHD doesn't bother me, much. My family is filled with high achieving ADHDers, and I've strongly suspected it for 8 years. The OCPD, though, is still fresh.
Katie, Thanks. It must have been pretty strong for them to find it at age 12, since it seems a fairly new classification and much rarer in females. Knowing you came through the other side intact (better than intact!) helps. Many of the sites were hopeful, as long as the person agreed it was a problem.
I think it's a good pattern to have, in moderation. (I say pattern, not disorder.) Most of my successes can be traced to it, and I had many before quitting work to raise a family. Even now, people are happy they don't have to do the jobs I happily volunteer for. PhD level research is probably much easier if you enjoy the rabbit hole. I know engineering required me to go down rabbit holes, both for learning and for designing.
Looking back, I think reducing the OCPD downside will help many problems from recurring. I see things I've walked away from since I knew they would trigger the OCPD downside, and some habits I already have to avoid the downside. And I had already dialed back many of my goals that my OCPD probably made bigger than necessary. (Yeah, it might have been the depression saying I couldn't meet the goals, but I'll still count it as a positive.) So I'm not starting from scratch.
A few times this evening with my daughter, I thought, "That's my OCPD talking," and stepped back rather than engaging. Early success!
Changing planning systems so often wasn't a problem when I was merely bored with them, but still doing well. I enjoyed the experiment, learned from it, then took what I learned and came home to a system that had proven effective. Later, though, I think it was a symptom of the problems. Desperately trying to keep to a system so I got things done, OCPD causing stress when the ADHD interfered. For now, back to the weekly page that feels like returning home, plus daylamp and exercise. (Diet is already pretty good, and bedtime doesn't want to shift.)
Katie, Thanks. It must have been pretty strong for them to find it at age 12, since it seems a fairly new classification and much rarer in females. Knowing you came through the other side intact (better than intact!) helps. Many of the sites were hopeful, as long as the person agreed it was a problem.
I think it's a good pattern to have, in moderation. (I say pattern, not disorder.) Most of my successes can be traced to it, and I had many before quitting work to raise a family. Even now, people are happy they don't have to do the jobs I happily volunteer for. PhD level research is probably much easier if you enjoy the rabbit hole. I know engineering required me to go down rabbit holes, both for learning and for designing.
Looking back, I think reducing the OCPD downside will help many problems from recurring. I see things I've walked away from since I knew they would trigger the OCPD downside, and some habits I already have to avoid the downside. And I had already dialed back many of my goals that my OCPD probably made bigger than necessary. (Yeah, it might have been the depression saying I couldn't meet the goals, but I'll still count it as a positive.) So I'm not starting from scratch.
A few times this evening with my daughter, I thought, "That's my OCPD talking," and stepped back rather than engaging. Early success!
Changing planning systems so often wasn't a problem when I was merely bored with them, but still doing well. I enjoyed the experiment, learned from it, then took what I learned and came home to a system that had proven effective. Later, though, I think it was a symptom of the problems. Desperately trying to keep to a system so I got things done, OCPD causing stress when the ADHD interfered. For now, back to the weekly page that feels like returning home, plus daylamp and exercise. (Diet is already pretty good, and bedtime doesn't want to shift.)
November 13, 2014 at 3:25 |
Cricket
Cricket
Hi Cricket. You're such an inspiration on this forum, always ready to share your experiences and make helpful suggestions. I'd never heard of OCPD before, and wish you all the very best in managing it.
November 13, 2014 at 11:27 |
Margaret1
Margaret1
I saw a psychiatrist yesterday, as recommended by my counselor, who was recommended by my doctor. This winter, the inertia hit really bad, and, despite the occasional reboot and new system, overall wasn't good. It took until late summer before I was out of it enough to realize I needed to do something so it wouldn't come back, and didn't put off calling yet again.
He's happy prescribing ADHD med, and thinks they'll help the inertia and lack of progress on my backlogs and personal projects. I've strongly suspected ADHD since my son was diagnosed 8 years ago, and mostly happy to try the meds, since willpower and paper tools and routines weren't working. He ruled out bipolar, although looking back and checking myths on the internet, I wonder if I was optimistic at the time. Next step in progress! And meditating for half an hour in the waiting room because he ran late. And I'd met my exercise goal 2 weeks running. I'll stay alert for the ADHD meds causing a manic phase, and ask that my counselor stay alert for recurrence of the depression. (Might not be easy, since I'm usually in a good mood when I see her.)
He also identified OCPD. Note the P. It's not OCD. Some sites say they're related, others say they're distinct. He focused on the positive aspects, of which there are many strong ones, and accurately identified problems it's causing me.
And then the internet. Eeps. Very scary, especially since, unlike with OCD, those with OCPD don't see it as a problem. (Meds not working yet. I spent all day on it, instead of what I'd planned.) Can be a real problem for both the person and those around them.
Writing it all out, with this group as the intended audience, and double-checking the sources, and thinking more carefully about how strongly I show the various traits and when, was a lot of help. Still in the scared phase, but less scared than I was. A few things that mostly crop up when I'm under stress. Some that I usually make excuses for, which make sense in the moment but over the years add up. Many that I already knew were risks that I already compensate for. I still prefer the psychiatrist's description, though, which focused on the positives.
So, thanks for listening, even though I didn't say it all out loud.