Get Everything Done

I'm considering the fact that my continuous feeling of overwhelm is caused by having too many choices - a theme often discussed in this forum.

There is the choice of what my overarching values are; these choices should dictate the tasks I put on my task list (if I'm using a task list) and what their relative priorities are.

There is the choice of which of Mark's methods (there ARE no other methods worth considering!) to use to select and execute the tasks;

There is the choice of mindset/motivational tools to keep me motivated to actually execute the tasks (e.g. gamification works well for me).

And once I've strenuously worked my way through all the choices, I often feel like bunking off and doing none of the tasks. One of my biggest stumbling blocks is telling myself that "I should be doing something else". If I'm doing housework and preparation work for commitments I have made, I think "I should be out enjoying the good weather and having a nice walk instead of this". If I'm out having a nice walk I think "I should be at home getting on with housework and preparation work for commitments" - honestly, I drive myself mad!

I sometimes envy people who say they don't know what to do with their time once they've retired - I feel I have a thousand and one things I need to do, want to do, and that I'll never manage them all even if I lived several lifetimes - and every day brings more new shiny things that i long to do.

I read somewhere about "Pathological Demand Avoidance" and that struck a chord! If someone tells me I should be doing X, I automatically resent having to do it - even though I might have been really wanting to do it and was just on the point of doing it. And this "rule" holds true even when the person doing the bossing is me! What happens is that I make my choices of what I need and want to do, and decide in what order to do it - then I rebel when it comes to actually carrying it out.

Then I throw my hands up in the air and decide my most important task is to relax and do some soothing (but unproductive) hobby and I decide to put my task list on hold - I have the fond belief that at some stage in the future (later today, or maybe tomorrow, or the day after) I'll be in the right frame of mind to do what I know needs done and will sail through it all effortlessly - but of course that magical right frame of mind never arrives.

Does this ring a bell with anyone else?

This weekend I was simply using 5T method (rotating list of only 5 tasks; re-enter unfinished tasks). It made me think about this exact topic: maybe there is no such thing as procrastination (or pathological demand avoidance as you say). There are only a few things we are working on now, and everything else. Since there are infinitely more items someone can be working on besides what they are doing now, it doesn't make sense to say they are resisting or procrastinating on everything else. I put something on my 5T list and when it became my current item, I only did the smallest step related to it (getting a book off the shelf related to the topic). Even though it was something I really wanted to start doing (get back into learning a foreign language, using a specific method) it was high resistance. As it kept showing up in the rotating list, I did more and more related to it.

As I usually do, I also kept a side list of possible things to work on later in the day, and would move them into the 5T list when there was an available slot. The projects that were on my 5T list got a LOT done with them, piece by piece. I stuck with those projects much longer than usual. Normally, I would spread my attention over too many different projects. Since I have that side list, I also sometimes move an item off the 5T list and back to the side list in order to "park" it for the rest of the day, until tomorrow perhaps.

I'd suggest giving that a try, and yes, the relaxing hobby can be on the list.

Thanks for your comments, Don R and matthewS.

Don - 5T is a good system and I like the addition of a side list. I find any of the 3T/5T variations good for just getting on with something when I'm in a frenzy of indecision. Their simplicity is a lifeline when a longer catch-all list feels overwhelming. I do put hobbies on whatever list I'm using and that's good, but not when I just do the hobby and nothing else.

MatthewS - One of my big interests just now is mindfulness, and practising being in the present moment rather than paying attention to random thoughts that come to mind. I totally agree with the concept that any task can be pleasurable if it's done with intention and attention.

Going back to my comment on needing several lifetimes, I suspect I would fritter them all away in the same manner. It's not more time I need, it's more focus on choosing and more perseverance in following through on those choices. In fact I have much more discretionary time than most people I know. I just don't use it wisely.

Interestingly, when I worked as a secretary I had no problem with following bosses' orders - that is, after all, the function of a secretary. When I was at school and college, I had no problem with teachers and lecturers telling me what to do - that's what I was there for. Now that I'm my own "boss", I'm a troublesome and contrary employee!

Hi Mark -thanks for your comment. I started using "Next Hour" as soon as I saw it this morning, and I see you're using it yourself, as per your latest blog.

If it's good enough for you, it's certainly good enough for me!

With very best wishes.