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It’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how you place the blame. Oscar Wilde

 

 

 

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Discussion Forum > The problem with goals

In golf, an end-gainer's longing is for big hit that will get distance, and onto the green and into the hole. In life, an "end gainer" is someone who is so fixated on achieving a specific outcome that they overlook the process, the necessary steps, or even the potential consequences of their approach. This mindset can lead to shortcuts, rushed decisions, and a disregard for the skills, discipline, or patience required for long-term success.

For example, someone who wants career success but focuses only on promotions rather than developing expertise and relationships may struggle in the long run. Likewise, a person who desires happiness but chases instant gratification—rather than cultivating meaningful habits and connections—may find that true fulfillment remains elusive. They are focussed on output while under valuing inputs (means).

The alternative to being an end gainer is to focus on the "means whereby," ensuring that each step is approached with care, awareness, and proper technique. By prioritizing means over outcome, success becomes a more natural and sustainable result.
March 30, 2025 at 17:48 | Unregistered Commentermichael
The way that I've seen this phrased that really speaks to me is the idea that if you live constantly in the future, you can't ever really experience success, but if you create a present that is aligned with your desired future, you can experience that success in the present, and there is a good chance that you'll get closer to the desired future as well.
March 31, 2025 at 18:42 | Registered CommenterAaron Hsu
I want a better job. I know that goal, to be attained involves both connecting with people to learn about the better job, and working on the skills needed to attain that better job. Yes I’m focussing on the latter two things.
April 3, 2025 at 22:32 | Registered CommenterAlan Baljeu