Get Everything Done

This will be a lengthy posting but for those not wishing to read the whole thing, my question is: How to increase resistance towards something that distracts you and prevents you doing from what you really should be doing?

In my life my biggest problem is the nature of my work. Despite working in a company the nature of my job is extremely free. My boss controls me hardly at all and my assignments come from many different people. There are few deadlines and even the few are loose, and nobody else than I truly knows how I am performing.

In this environment it is so easy to "goof off". I think I am talented (having done well in the university) but I have always had very poor self-discipline and due to this I have proved to be a very ineffective employee. In recent months I have precrastinated so much that it has resulted in huge backlog. The stress due to the backlog has in turn increased the procrastination making the situation worse all the time. Eventually I found myself me almost completely rejecting my work. Spending days doing everything else that I should do.

All the time I have wanted it to be different
but it has been so hard. The internet and especially its message boards have been the escape activity for me. As I have found it increasingly difficult and stressful to concentrate on my work it has been so easy to escape to another world. When I try to work the escape is always a couple of clicks away. Especially as all the work is done with the computer these days. "Maybe I'll just check that one more thing..." and then end up realising its 4 pm and I have achieved absolutely nothing once again.

Finally with the help of DIT I have actually got back on track. The closed lists approach has been extremely helpful and I am learning it bit by bit. Overscheduling ("I am so much behind that I need to do all these things") and being put off by trying to do too much at once is so easy. Today I finally scored a point in the "try to complete your closed list competition". It is an extremely liberating feeling to find that you have done everything you scheduled to do today. Simply amazing!

However, DIT has little about INCREASING resistance towards "harmful" activities. One thing I found useful is that I started to keep track on the number of messages I write on one very interesting discussion forum I am an active member of. Stopping it completely altogether would be too much to ask and it would not last. Now I know see exactly much I am spending my life there and it is a good competition for myself to try to reduce the numbers to a moderate level.

But I would like some more ideas. I am quite sure I am not the only one in this world who has trouble with goofing off. I am sure many people find using the internet far too much these days. In the "menu of life" sense there is and endless menu.

Hi Nick
I think many of us have fallen into the blackhole of the internet. When I'm forced to do computer work, I turn of my router! LOL! When I must go online and I'm determined to stay on point with my duties, I set a FIRM time limit! Just force yourself to close the window immediately. It only creates momentary suffering. I've also discovered that when I'm taking a short internet break, I don't allow myself to go to any groups at all! LOL! I stay away from my temptations when I'm serious about being on point. LOL! Why tempt ourselves into possible self-disappointment? Staying away from temptations is far easier than asking yourself to white knuckle it! I settle for reading and learning and NO GROUPS while I'm in my office mode. If I'm biting at the bit, I can use my lunch break! LOL! or......hurry up and finish my closed list early!
Hope this helps. It's definitely not easy, but it is doable.....most of the time! LOL!
learning as I go

Hi again
I almost forgot.....keep business emails FAR AWAY from the other ones! Batton the hatches from all points! LOL!

How about procrastination? This is a gift we all have to some extent. I like to use it to put off the things I know I shouldnt be doing. Tell yourself, "I'm definitely going to surf the net, but not now - later."

I can really indentify myself with your situation. I've done a few things:


1. I set ambitious but reasonable goals, almost daily, so I have something to work towards to. This can be serious or quite foolish. Like: Today i am going to call 10 new business clients or today I am going to clear desk and drawers.
2. Evaluate: I write down what I have done, so I can say: This has been quite a productive week, or: It was a busy dat today, but my productivity was low (which happens).
3. Get impulses in your work, make promises and set deadlines (but not too much). You will feel obligated to others to do your work.
4. Simple: Position your screen so others can see it. I automaticly do 'more work related things'.

I was interested in reading this thread. I think that there are a lot of people who spend a huge amount of time at work on the internet doing unwork related things. I feel strongly that employers should do more to have clear policies on what is and isn't allowed and that managers should ensure that staff know the boundaries. i think that making sure your screen is visible to others is only a good deterrent if the boss is going to notice and also say something ! For younger people today it is very hard....the internet is part of their life and is not going to go away.We need to teach them that the work has to be done and lead by example. Clear work policies help...so we should do all we can to work with all staff to agree clear consistant guidelines that everyone ( well almost - some will always disagree) buys into and stick to.

How does this sound to others?

Hi Mark
I agree that it would be hard to distinquish what one could and should do whilst working at home. After all, in some cases, you are your own employer. My reply was more geared to those who use the internet during work time and personally i think that use in work time should be restricted to work related sites but maybe others would't agree?I do agree that the internet is very valuable and i use it a great deal whilst at home.
Deb

Well, I tend to think that one's conscience is generally a good guide on this isn't it?! I am now my own boss running my own gardening business but have worked in several office environments in my time.

I think the odd bit of indulgence at say, lunchtime or during a coffee break, would be acceptable to most providing it didn't go on too long, and work related research is fine if it isn't used as an avoidance mechanism. Most folks I think know when they are taking the mickey and so this must be the best guide.

I have found that employers who show trust and respect to their employees (as well as being clear about their requirements) tend to get the best response and least abuse of that trust. Clear guidelines might be useful in some ways but as it would be hard to define all circumstances then it does ultimately come back to an individual's conscience to guide them. The type of employee who uses the internet excessively to avoid doing 'proper' work is likely to prove themselves unreliable in other areas as well and thus be a poor employee anyway.

Oh, and to answer Mark's question, yes! I do think that expanding one's mind is very useful at work too. So general research on the net can be useful in the long term as well. Therefore using the internet can prove valuable to general as well as specific aspects of work. Hence guidelines on what is and is not suitable become harder to define...

Hi all....
I really don't get the problem.....If you finish your closed list and complete an honest day's work, what does it matter? The only problem I can see is if you don't feel *sincere* in your internet explorations...I love the internet because it's almost like living in the library of congress, the national library of medicine, etc.....but I KNOW when I'm actually researching toward an end and when I'm purposely chasing through rabbit holes! That's why I restrict my internet use (unless it's actually a closed list item) until my closed list is done or is a closely monitored break. That's why I love the closed list concept. It, itself, is both the plan and the rule! LOL! It keeps it simple for me. Either I'm working the closed list or I'm on a monitored break until I'm Done! That's the beauty part of this. The decision-making process is built into the system......and we all know when we're trying to rationalize our way around it! LOL! That's MY CUE to buck up and get back to finishing the list! LOL! It's actually ironic...when I start rationalizing, I immediately know to STOP NOW and get back to the REAL (not rationalized) goal of completing my list within the allotted time. It only took a couple of goofing off periods to teach myself better. (When the office is closed, it's closed! LOL! ) Goofing off only mucks up tomorrow's list! Thank you, Mark for this fool-proof system!
vickie
vickie

Hi Mark
What is Facebook?
learning as I go

Hi Mark
Is social networking/ facebook similar to internet groups? I looked at the site and couldn't really tell what it was. It actually seemed sort of like a more private version of My Space.
thanks for the info....I'm always willing to learn if not actually partake in it! LOL! Pain makes me a bit unreliable in the normal social sense, but that's OK....For the people who really matter to me, they allow me to believe that I'm good at smoothing things over! LOL! Bless their kind souls...
vickie

Hi Nick
I was reading my earlier post to you and I totally forgot to add something. In your favorites/bookmarks, make a folder that says NEXT. When the timer goes off, simply bookmark the page into your NEXT folder. That way, it's less difficult to close the window when the timer goes off. Plus, it creates an incentive to do another round of work if you're really interested in the material you were reading, video, etc...
learning as I go

Hi Mark
Thanks for your candid reply. I shouldn't admit this but I use YOUR SITE as one of my *approved* break sites! LOL! It's formatted such that I can read each article quickly and it also reinforces what I'm aiming to learn. Because my memory is so unreliable, it ALWAYS presents itself as *fresh* material.....I wouldn't even DARE to go to some of those sites that have hidden rabbit holes! LOL! Thank goodness it easy to click a window closed when the timer goes off. I've found that many times, I find myself deleting the NEXT folder (where I keep my bookmarked sites to go back to for the next break) many times over because.....(don't laugh...) but once I close the window and do another round of work, the trance has totally dissapated. I have to really guard myself of this....I fall into a trance and find myself chasing rabbit holes.....but once I'm out of the trance, I often wonder....."Why, in God's name, did I find that drivel so interesting?" LOL!
It feels similar to only half watching a tv show because it's the least of the bad ones available and I'm too grounded in pain to have other options. But in this case, it's caused by some sort of half satisfying trance! That's why I'm SO STRICT on myself during my office hours! LOL! Does this happen to you as well? It took me a few times to learn of my weakness, before I learned how to take measures to temper it! LOL! I probably learned how on your site but I simply don't remember reading it! LOL!
vickie

Hi,

What do you do if you have gotten really depressed about it all? I have a 1-2-1 with my manager in a minute and I would rather jump of a bridge than face the months of procrastination!

For someone like me, I really need a human to talk to - can you recommend any good training courses or coaches?

Thank you!

Dear Mark,

Thank you for such a prompt reply. It means a lot that you wrote back :)

I think you may be right about the depression, though if I have it, it is definitely caused by procrastination and avoidance issues. In my previous job I was a powerhouse of activity and was known for my high motivation and positive work ethic, it was stressful but I was always satisfied at my accomplishments.

The job I'm in now is a different culture and I work mainly independently with loose goals. I really want to make it work though as I can't afford to change jobs right now.

I will definitely consider your seminar, do you think it would be helpful for someone like me?

Many thanks,
Dominique

Thanks - that is so simple it might actually work :)

Hi Dom

I think something I have found helps in a situation that was kind of similar to yours (I think, as obviously I can't know for sure) is not to give up! Strange as it may seem when you're feeling pretty low but I found that if I kept on keeping on I eventually made things work better. Mark's suggestions are great and if you can make just one change or a few small changes you will have something positive to focus on.

In Mark's book (I forget which one now - I'm sure he'll be able to tell you) he suggests asking yourself "what's better about today?" and it's a very, very useful question to ask. If you can make little changes and focus on how those changes make you feel better and don't give up even when you get bad patches, then eventually you notice that the little changes add up to a big overall change. It's the chipping away a bit at a time that really makes the difference.

So what I guess I'm saying is if you keep on keeping on, accept the bad days for what they are, but then start again with the little changes, then over time it can work.

In a domestic setting I'm seeing a great change overall from just chipping away and implementing little changes picked up from advice I've read here and there (including many of Mark's suggestions in his books). I've read many books and have used bits from each that have worked for me.

And the best thing of all is that in the beginning you're not at all sure you can make it work but, over time, you suddenly realise that you feel sure that now you really are making the change you wanted. It doesn't happen straight away and often you seem to be going backwards, but give it time, keep on going and it really does work.

Good luck, I hope you can make things better for yourself and that you find the things that work for you.

Thanks for that kind letter of encouragement I will give the list thing a go.

I also liked what you said about taking note of little changes. Overall people think I am a perfectionist and so I tend to give up if I can't do something 100% right.

Baby steps then :)

I wonder Dom whether you are finding it hard to start to do things because you want it to be 100% right and as you are new, you are not yet confident of getting it right.. so you would rather not start it at all.

It may also be that you just don't like the type of work. Give me a pc and changes to make to a database and I'm away and will keep at it until its all done but give me minutes of a meeting to type up and I will put off doing that , literally, for months. I have tried to work out why and I believe its because i find the writing hard and everyone around me makes it look and sound so easy and I don't want anyone to read mine and think that they are rubbish.

I try to use the 'I'll just do a bit now,' technique that Mark suggests to chip away at the task.

something else to consider anyway!
D

I would only add a few more tips or thoughts to what's been posted here.

* Maybe you don't need to increase your resistance, as much as just pop yourself out of 'distractionmode' and back into 'workmode'. I may click on a web site every five minutes if I'm working on something I don't like, but if I see that I've done that, all I need to do is keep bringing myself back to the task. I may have to do that a lot but it's practice in controlling your impulse-muscle, which is pretty strong in everybody's case.

* One way to pop yourself back is to, as someone suggested, just bookmark the current page as "Later", promise yourself you'll get back to it, and then go back to work.

* One of Mark's tips that works best for me is, when I find myself surfing to distract myself, is to just write down on a piece of paper what I'm after doing: look for somehting on amazon, read the news, read my webcomics, whatever. Just writing it down sort of reasserts your higher managerial self.

* When you go back to the dreaded task, timebox it: set a timer for 5 or 12 minutes, and promise yourself you'll focus for that long until the timer dings, and then look at a "Later" bookmark if you want. Once you get the task up and running, you'll find that you want to naturally keep it moving. It's the starting that's the hard part.

* If you're using Firefox as your browser, and you want an extreme solution, install Greasemonkey and install the script "No More Links," which will take away all the links on a page so you can't surf from it. (I *love* this script! Makes work life much better!) You can disable the script if you want, but part of the game is to accept that the "web is closed" and go back to working with your attention.
http://jamesclarke.info/projects/no-links-please/


* Lifehacker has a similar Greasemonkey script called "Invisibility Cloak."
Greasemonkey: Invisibility Cloak update
http://lifehacker.com/software/downloads/invisibility-cloak-update-149252.php


* Sometimes when I'm not doing what I think I should, or if I'm resisting what I should be doing, I simply stop everything, put my hands in my lap, and do some meditation breathing. Your monkey mind wants to compulse and *do* something after a few breaths, even if it's working on the dreaded task. And so you've tricked it again.

I guess the big lesson for me was to just write things down (eases the compulsion) and to think not so much about increasing resistance to a low-value activity as much as bringing my attention back ASAP to a higher-value activity.