Discussion Forum > Scheduling Non-Discretionary Time?
Hi Jaroslav,
This is always a difficult balancing act. With my growing administrative position responsibilities, I too am confronted with so many meeting requests, attending receptions (is it important for me to attend this one? If I don't, will it cost me politically?) that I could spend my entire day -- every day -- in meetings. I cannot do that as my work will not get done and when one has major NIH grants, one has to do the work!
Here is what I am learning to do. Think about every meeting request. Does this align with my strategic objectives or goals? How will this help me or my organization if I attend? In contrast, will my time be better spent working on that important project instead of this meeting?
I still do plan my week in terms of scheduling time blocks just for me -- that way they are protected from the constant stream of meeting requests. Of course, occasionally, there will be a meeting that I consider so important that I accept the meeting even though I had time blocked off. But that is the exception rather than the rule.
And what do I do during my scheduled time blocks? I work on my AF lists!
I hope this helps. Best wishes!
-David
This is always a difficult balancing act. With my growing administrative position responsibilities, I too am confronted with so many meeting requests, attending receptions (is it important for me to attend this one? If I don't, will it cost me politically?) that I could spend my entire day -- every day -- in meetings. I cannot do that as my work will not get done and when one has major NIH grants, one has to do the work!
Here is what I am learning to do. Think about every meeting request. Does this align with my strategic objectives or goals? How will this help me or my organization if I attend? In contrast, will my time be better spent working on that important project instead of this meeting?
I still do plan my week in terms of scheduling time blocks just for me -- that way they are protected from the constant stream of meeting requests. Of course, occasionally, there will be a meeting that I consider so important that I accept the meeting even though I had time blocked off. But that is the exception rather than the rule.
And what do I do during my scheduled time blocks? I work on my AF lists!
I hope this helps. Best wishes!
-David
May 8, 2009 at 14:24 |
David Drake
David Drake
David,
that is kind of what I have been doing (and judging by your previous posts, we have fairly similar jobs).
However, just as the number of such requests, demands and invitations is rising, serious health issues mean that I need to cut back. I could pretty much fill all my time with meetings that I can reasonably argue are important to my overall goals and are valuable to my department, institution or discipline. I am thus back with the same problem of having to choose between too many demands on my time.
But whereas AF provides a systematic way of making those choices if the demands are on my time over a short time scale, ie the next few days, I have no systematic way of choosing which are the most valuable, important, urgent, essential etc meetings in say three months time.
that is kind of what I have been doing (and judging by your previous posts, we have fairly similar jobs).
However, just as the number of such requests, demands and invitations is rising, serious health issues mean that I need to cut back. I could pretty much fill all my time with meetings that I can reasonably argue are important to my overall goals and are valuable to my department, institution or discipline. I am thus back with the same problem of having to choose between too many demands on my time.
But whereas AF provides a systematic way of making those choices if the demands are on my time over a short time scale, ie the next few days, I have no systematic way of choosing which are the most valuable, important, urgent, essential etc meetings in say three months time.
May 8, 2009 at 16:04 |
Jaroslav
Jaroslav
Jaroslav:
Actually I have used AF to decide whether to attend a conference in three months' time. I put it on my list as "Accept invitation to X Conference". The item ended up getting dismissed, so I took that as meaning I shouldn't go!
Actually I have used AF to decide whether to attend a conference in three months' time. I put it on my list as "Accept invitation to X Conference". The item ended up getting dismissed, so I took that as meaning I shouldn't go!
May 8, 2009 at 16:19 |
Mark Forster
Mark Forster
Mark,
Thanks. I have tried more or less that, without really creating a workable system. But there is a subtle difference since I phrase such items as
"Decide on whether to accept..."
or
"Make decision on whether to attend..."
or even worse
"Reply to invitation..."
The last has the disadvantage that it can be actioned by replying with an indeterminate answer, which just puts off the decision. Of course sometimes this makes the decision for you, for instance because meanwhile the meeting is cancelled.
This makes me realize once again the importance of careful phrasing of AF items.
Thanks. I have tried more or less that, without really creating a workable system. But there is a subtle difference since I phrase such items as
"Decide on whether to accept..."
or
"Make decision on whether to attend..."
or even worse
"Reply to invitation..."
The last has the disadvantage that it can be actioned by replying with an indeterminate answer, which just puts off the decision. Of course sometimes this makes the decision for you, for instance because meanwhile the meeting is cancelled.
This makes me realize once again the importance of careful phrasing of AF items.
May 8, 2009 at 16:50 |
Jaroslav
Jaroslav
Jaroslav:
Another way of doing it would be to put both "Accept Conference X" and "Decline Conference X" into your list. The one that stands out first is the winner!
Another way of doing it would be to put both "Accept Conference X" and "Decline Conference X" into your list. The one that stands out first is the winner!
May 8, 2009 at 18:15 |
Mark Forster
Mark Forster
Mark - with each reply/response re: AF, you help "flesh out" the system. In time, you might want to collect all these gems and put them into an e-book. The AF instructions are fine, but these little nuggets provide clarity on the rational vs intuitive aspect of your system.
May 8, 2009 at 18:30 |
Avrum
Avrum
Mark,
I love the idea! It had never occurred to me to put in directly contradictory actions into the system and its something I will definitely try.
However, if you will allow me to take this a bit further, my problem is rarely to decide about a single event in the future. Lets suppose that I have two potential conferences X and Y and they clash, but the invitations/announcements came in at different times so that they are widely separated in the AF system. I enter all potentially interesting events into my calendar, so would notice the clash, but now have three possible outcomes:
go to neither event
go to X
go to Y
How do you suggest handling this within AF? Even worse, it might be that X and Y don't actually clash, but are very close, so if I think both are really important I could just about make both but it would wipe out a huge chunk of time and leave me exhausted. A less dramatic example might be a 3 hour committee in a morning, and a 3 hour meeting in the afternoon on the same day. Now there are 4 possibilities:
go to neither event
go to X
go to Y
go to both
Since information about X and Y arrives at different times I cannot see a natural way of entering all 4 possibilities into AF.
Avrum,
in http://www.markforster.net/forum/post/716129#post719525 Mark indicated that "Write more about AF" was now an action in his AF list. Lets hope it hasn't been dismissed!
I love the idea! It had never occurred to me to put in directly contradictory actions into the system and its something I will definitely try.
However, if you will allow me to take this a bit further, my problem is rarely to decide about a single event in the future. Lets suppose that I have two potential conferences X and Y and they clash, but the invitations/announcements came in at different times so that they are widely separated in the AF system. I enter all potentially interesting events into my calendar, so would notice the clash, but now have three possible outcomes:
go to neither event
go to X
go to Y
How do you suggest handling this within AF? Even worse, it might be that X and Y don't actually clash, but are very close, so if I think both are really important I could just about make both but it would wipe out a huge chunk of time and leave me exhausted. A less dramatic example might be a 3 hour committee in a morning, and a 3 hour meeting in the afternoon on the same day. Now there are 4 possibilities:
go to neither event
go to X
go to Y
go to both
Since information about X and Y arrives at different times I cannot see a natural way of entering all 4 possibilities into AF.
Avrum,
in http://www.markforster.net/forum/post/716129#post719525 Mark indicated that "Write more about AF" was now an action in his AF list. Lets hope it hasn't been dismissed!
May 8, 2009 at 22:11 |
Jaroslav
Jaroslav
Nice points, Avrum! I agree -- Mark, it would be great if we could compile your gems of wisdom -- and they truly are -- and put them in a supporting document for AF.
Jaroslav, I understand your angst. It is easy for me to say choose only those meetings that are in alignment with your goals and strategic objectives. But like my situation too, EVERYTHING is a priority and almost all meetings do in fact align with what I consider important to my work. So how to choose? I like Mark's suggestions about putting both decisions as entries on your AF lists and then seeing which one really stands out. That really is brilliant because the only other advice I could give would be (1) a complicated matrix where you write down all of the advantages and disadvantages forseeable for attending or not attending a meeting, or (2) flipping a coin! The former would take too much time and is cumbersome at best, and the latter is just up to chance. Mark's suggestion works right in line with what AF does best!
Take care,
-David
Jaroslav, I understand your angst. It is easy for me to say choose only those meetings that are in alignment with your goals and strategic objectives. But like my situation too, EVERYTHING is a priority and almost all meetings do in fact align with what I consider important to my work. So how to choose? I like Mark's suggestions about putting both decisions as entries on your AF lists and then seeing which one really stands out. That really is brilliant because the only other advice I could give would be (1) a complicated matrix where you write down all of the advantages and disadvantages forseeable for attending or not attending a meeting, or (2) flipping a coin! The former would take too much time and is cumbersome at best, and the latter is just up to chance. Mark's suggestion works right in line with what AF does best!
Take care,
-David
May 8, 2009 at 22:14 |
David Drake
David Drake
David
I agree that often we can be confident that the right decisions are made in our lives if we allow time for an item on our AF list to stand out for us. But there is no guarantee that this makes it a good decision. It could be that some less than appropriate influence is constantly operative in the matter (e.g. some prejudice, or fear, or unworthy motive).
But as you say, nor does it seem to be necessary to go into a "complicated matrix" to work through the decision.
Some important decisions require at least a degree of conscious discernment, not just advantages and disadvantages, but a bit of delving into what I feel called to from my deepest self, what my energies seem to capable of, how my feelings are relevant to what is at stake, how much good will flow from what I am considering....
Such a discernment need not take more than a few minutes, and it does appeal to me more than a decision made in what might turn out to be a largely "unconsious" process.
I love the feeling that, when a decision has to be made, I have taken everything into account in its proper proportions. That feeling gives me the confidence that the decision is right and can be acted on without regret.
Hopefully, when I allow AF to sort out a decision, this is exactly what is happening, albeit in a quick and intuitive way. But sometimes with bigger decisions I need to pause and more consciously ensure that I truly am "taking everything into account in the proper proportions."
I agree that often we can be confident that the right decisions are made in our lives if we allow time for an item on our AF list to stand out for us. But there is no guarantee that this makes it a good decision. It could be that some less than appropriate influence is constantly operative in the matter (e.g. some prejudice, or fear, or unworthy motive).
But as you say, nor does it seem to be necessary to go into a "complicated matrix" to work through the decision.
Some important decisions require at least a degree of conscious discernment, not just advantages and disadvantages, but a bit of delving into what I feel called to from my deepest self, what my energies seem to capable of, how my feelings are relevant to what is at stake, how much good will flow from what I am considering....
Such a discernment need not take more than a few minutes, and it does appeal to me more than a decision made in what might turn out to be a largely "unconsious" process.
I love the feeling that, when a decision has to be made, I have taken everything into account in its proper proportions. That feeling gives me the confidence that the decision is right and can be acted on without regret.
Hopefully, when I allow AF to sort out a decision, this is exactly what is happening, albeit in a quick and intuitive way. But sometimes with bigger decisions I need to pause and more consciously ensure that I truly am "taking everything into account in the proper proportions."
May 9, 2009 at 1:00 |
Jim (Melbourne)
Jim (Melbourne)
Hello Jim,
I very much identify with what you express here and the importance, sometimes, of a discernment that leads us to a more thorough exploration of our inner world, so that we are better informed and more aware.........
"Some important decisions require at least a degree of conscious discernment, not just advantages and disadvantages, but a bit of delving into what I feel called to from my deepest self, what my energies seem to capable of, how my feelings are relevant to what is at stake, how much good will flow from what I am considering...."
....Yes!
I teach a method which ensures that we truly are "taking everything into account in the proper proportions" before then making a decision from our deep conscience. Apart from giving a good 'feeling' and confidence as you mention, it is extremely satisfying because it has a unifying effect on our whole person and puts us on a path of greater awareness and freedom (as we are not "reacting" to circumstances, but making a free, holistic choice, from a place deep within us.)
Why I love AF is because its method is far more inclusive of our whole person than DIT say, and balanced between the cerebral and intuitive. It also fits very well with the method I use for quick decisions which is based on an instant scan of my inner world and, most particularly, connecting with the sensation with psychological content which is uppermost within me. This is what I do when I scan my AF list for the second time. Yes, I'm waiting for an action to stand out, letting it rise to meet me, as someone has expressed elsewhere, but in order to know whether I've met it, my focus is on my own present sensation. Hence the importance of learning to read my body's inner messages instantly at any given time.
All this will be far too involved and irrelevant for some people but your 'deeper' response has prompted me to share this. In fact I wonder if you are even following the PRH method? You certainly seem very in touch with your inner experiencing as well as on a quest for more meaning and contribution.......
Anyone drawn to this method of decision making - whether for quick, or more important decisions - and interested to know more, would have to follow some other course requirements first. It is experiential and therefore just can't be picked up by reading. You can find further information on courses or individual accompaniment in the UK at: http://www.prhengland.co.uk/prh-england-individual-workshops.html
This website will also give a link internationally as it is a method given in over forty countries. It's called Personality and Human Relations, but offers far more than the name suggests.
If you're interested Jim, you're in luck! The only person offering these courses or personal accompaniment in the whole of the Australasian continent lives in your area. I'm presuming that your signature means you live in Melborne, Victoria? Here is the link for their details::
http://www.prh-international.org/en/country?p=11
Thanks for your thoughtful post. Happy discerning!
I very much identify with what you express here and the importance, sometimes, of a discernment that leads us to a more thorough exploration of our inner world, so that we are better informed and more aware.........
"Some important decisions require at least a degree of conscious discernment, not just advantages and disadvantages, but a bit of delving into what I feel called to from my deepest self, what my energies seem to capable of, how my feelings are relevant to what is at stake, how much good will flow from what I am considering...."
....Yes!
I teach a method which ensures that we truly are "taking everything into account in the proper proportions" before then making a decision from our deep conscience. Apart from giving a good 'feeling' and confidence as you mention, it is extremely satisfying because it has a unifying effect on our whole person and puts us on a path of greater awareness and freedom (as we are not "reacting" to circumstances, but making a free, holistic choice, from a place deep within us.)
Why I love AF is because its method is far more inclusive of our whole person than DIT say, and balanced between the cerebral and intuitive. It also fits very well with the method I use for quick decisions which is based on an instant scan of my inner world and, most particularly, connecting with the sensation with psychological content which is uppermost within me. This is what I do when I scan my AF list for the second time. Yes, I'm waiting for an action to stand out, letting it rise to meet me, as someone has expressed elsewhere, but in order to know whether I've met it, my focus is on my own present sensation. Hence the importance of learning to read my body's inner messages instantly at any given time.
All this will be far too involved and irrelevant for some people but your 'deeper' response has prompted me to share this. In fact I wonder if you are even following the PRH method? You certainly seem very in touch with your inner experiencing as well as on a quest for more meaning and contribution.......
Anyone drawn to this method of decision making - whether for quick, or more important decisions - and interested to know more, would have to follow some other course requirements first. It is experiential and therefore just can't be picked up by reading. You can find further information on courses or individual accompaniment in the UK at: http://www.prhengland.co.uk/prh-england-individual-workshops.html
This website will also give a link internationally as it is a method given in over forty countries. It's called Personality and Human Relations, but offers far more than the name suggests.
If you're interested Jim, you're in luck! The only person offering these courses or personal accompaniment in the whole of the Australasian continent lives in your area. I'm presuming that your signature means you live in Melborne, Victoria? Here is the link for their details::
http://www.prh-international.org/en/country?p=11
Thanks for your thoughtful post. Happy discerning!
May 10, 2009 at 18:30 |
Robina
Robina
Wow, Robina. I am delighted to hear that you are England's representative of the Personality and Human Relations Foundation.
I have had a life-long interest in personal growth opportunities and as other members of this forum seem to believe, some programs one encounters promise much more than they deliver.
My conclusion is that Personality and Human Relations is not one of these. On the contrary, I have taken the opportunity of travelling to Canada and USA to follow some of their programs and have found the experiences profound and life-changing. The programs have a wonderful reputation here in Australia and elsewhere around the world. My observation is that there are two main reasons for this. Firstly, they draw on the innate giftedness of the individual participant and so the benefits persist after the courses are over. Secondly, the foundation clearly insists on thorough preparation of those who hold the licences in member countries.
Thanks for letting us know who you are. And thanks for your contributions to this forum.
I have had a life-long interest in personal growth opportunities and as other members of this forum seem to believe, some programs one encounters promise much more than they deliver.
My conclusion is that Personality and Human Relations is not one of these. On the contrary, I have taken the opportunity of travelling to Canada and USA to follow some of their programs and have found the experiences profound and life-changing. The programs have a wonderful reputation here in Australia and elsewhere around the world. My observation is that there are two main reasons for this. Firstly, they draw on the innate giftedness of the individual participant and so the benefits persist after the courses are over. Secondly, the foundation clearly insists on thorough preparation of those who hold the licences in member countries.
Thanks for letting us know who you are. And thanks for your contributions to this forum.
May 11, 2009 at 9:40 |
Jim (Melbourne)
Jim (Melbourne)
Hello again Jim,
I'm delighted that you've had the opportunity to benefit from PRH (Personality and Human Relations) education and recognise its long-lasting effects. As you will be aware, just like the AF method, and possibly Mark's gestating new system, however much it claims to do, it is only through personal experience of it that you will truly verify those claims for yourself.....and experience how transformative it can be.
It is testimonials like yours, and mine, which helps others hear about this thorough method of personal growth which in a slow, but sure way ensures a greater sense of self, a clearer, more confident and meaningful journey towards your life purpose and a deeper sense of well-being. They then have no excuse to say: "But why didn't I know about this before? I could have done with this a long time ago...." which is often the accusation I get after a first workshop.....
What really thrills me is that someone else recognises the affinity between Mark's AF system and the PRH method of decision-making. I feel we both appreciate excellence and efficiency, not just for their own sake but for a deeper purpose and meaning.
Earlier you mentioned ".....how much good will flow from what I am considering...." and in another thread there has been a lot of talk of motivation. For me, it's important for all of us to consider these questions:
On the deepest level, what motivates me to improve my TM techniques? And what really drives my decisions?
AF gives me the TM system that helps me manage my life well on a daily basis.
PRH gives me the method and approach to help me answer these questions and bring deeper meaning and awareness to my life.
Thanks, Jim, for paving the way for me to voice what I'm passionate about!
Sorry, Jaroslav - we seem to have hijacked your thread!
I'm delighted that you've had the opportunity to benefit from PRH (Personality and Human Relations) education and recognise its long-lasting effects. As you will be aware, just like the AF method, and possibly Mark's gestating new system, however much it claims to do, it is only through personal experience of it that you will truly verify those claims for yourself.....and experience how transformative it can be.
It is testimonials like yours, and mine, which helps others hear about this thorough method of personal growth which in a slow, but sure way ensures a greater sense of self, a clearer, more confident and meaningful journey towards your life purpose and a deeper sense of well-being. They then have no excuse to say: "But why didn't I know about this before? I could have done with this a long time ago...." which is often the accusation I get after a first workshop.....
What really thrills me is that someone else recognises the affinity between Mark's AF system and the PRH method of decision-making. I feel we both appreciate excellence and efficiency, not just for their own sake but for a deeper purpose and meaning.
Earlier you mentioned ".....how much good will flow from what I am considering...." and in another thread there has been a lot of talk of motivation. For me, it's important for all of us to consider these questions:
On the deepest level, what motivates me to improve my TM techniques? And what really drives my decisions?
AF gives me the TM system that helps me manage my life well on a daily basis.
PRH gives me the method and approach to help me answer these questions and bring deeper meaning and awareness to my life.
Thanks, Jim, for paving the way for me to voice what I'm passionate about!
Sorry, Jaroslav - we seem to have hijacked your thread!
May 11, 2009 at 23:45 |
Robina
Robina
http://www.markforster.net/forum/post/751098
"all time is discretionary at root, but once we have committed ourselves to do something specific at a specific time then that time ceases to be discretionary"
This is something I have problems regulating, particularly since sometimes I need to commit to meetings (often travel or committee related) a long time (eg up to 6-12 months) ahead. On the other hand I have the luxury of considerable freedom in whether I participate in the meeting at all, and in negotiating meeting times for individual meetings.
As Mark points out in his books, most of us tend to over-estimate our capacity for such activities and ignore the knock-on effects (ie a one day meeting in 6 months time will probably require at least 3-4 days preparation, and a week's work worth of follow-up.
On the other hand I have at times been too cautious, refused to participate in a meeting and then regretted this because instead of an interesting meeting spent the time instead doing meaningless administrative tasks.
It seems to me that this is not something that AF or DIT are a lot of help with. How do people address this issue?