Discussion Forum > Goal Setting
Peter, I believe in the power of visualizing our goals. I was just saying that I couldn't conceive of a single "ideal" day. I have to chuckle at "my colleagues speak highly of me." I have found that the more successful I am in a given area, the less highly my "colleagues" speak of me. Would that I could visualize the former into existence. ;-)
June 7, 2009 at 14:35 |
Mel
Mel
I think that the "ideal day" concept comes into its own more when someone is totally living a life at odds with what their dream lifestyle is. In Sher's book, it was the truckdriver who wanted to own a dairy farm.
Years ago when I first did this, I described a day where I went to work and what type of team atmosphere that I worked in and what kind of work I did, etc. Looking back on it today, about three years after writing about that ideal day, I did end up in an atmosphere exactly like that - and just as I had hoped, it was all that I knew it would be and I loved going to work every Monday. :-)
When you come up with a description of an ideal day (or better yet, ideal life), you should come up with what Sher calls your "touchstones" - the core of that dream . Even without the "ideal life" (like the million dollars) - how can you start putting something of that touchstone in your life right now?
What kind of relationships do you want to have in your life?
What kind of person is your ideal self and character?
What do you do for recreation?
What kind of environment do you live in?
What kind of work are you doing?
What is your physical body like?
You can use this as a basis for a gratitude practice and go through and highlight everything you have right now that fits into that ideal life and be appreciative of it.
Then go to work on where there's a big disconnect between your ideal and your present state.
Years ago when I first did this, I described a day where I went to work and what type of team atmosphere that I worked in and what kind of work I did, etc. Looking back on it today, about three years after writing about that ideal day, I did end up in an atmosphere exactly like that - and just as I had hoped, it was all that I knew it would be and I loved going to work every Monday. :-)
When you come up with a description of an ideal day (or better yet, ideal life), you should come up with what Sher calls your "touchstones" - the core of that dream . Even without the "ideal life" (like the million dollars) - how can you start putting something of that touchstone in your life right now?
What kind of relationships do you want to have in your life?
What kind of person is your ideal self and character?
What do you do for recreation?
What kind of environment do you live in?
What kind of work are you doing?
What is your physical body like?
You can use this as a basis for a gratitude practice and go through and highlight everything you have right now that fits into that ideal life and be appreciative of it.
Then go to work on where there's a big disconnect between your ideal and your present state.
June 8, 2009 at 3:07 |
Jacqueline
Jacqueline
As Jacqueline says the "ideal day" visualization is supposed to be of a typical working day, not of a some sort of special day. It's more about the environment you work in, the atmosphere, the background (e.g. debt-free), the type of work and how you feel about it all, than about specific actions. If you do include specific actions in it, then they are included as examples of the sort of things you would be doing.
June 8, 2009 at 11:30 |
Mark Forster
Mark Forster
@Mike RE Arizona and Big Sur: Ah yes, the silence of the desert. It truly is QUIET out here. I love going for morning walks before the sun rises (and the temperature goes up to 120). You can hear someone starting their car 2 miles away.
The desert does have its own unique beauty, and I really do love it.
It just doesn't have any trees. :-)
At least, not any REAL trees. Palo verde and mesquite don't count for much when you've grown up in the redwoods. :-)
The Arizona sky is so BIG. It's always amazing, always different, always beautiful. Here are some photos of our backyard... http://picasaweb.google.com/seraphim37/Sunrises
The desert does have its own unique beauty, and I really do love it.
It just doesn't have any trees. :-)
At least, not any REAL trees. Palo verde and mesquite don't count for much when you've grown up in the redwoods. :-)
The Arizona sky is so BIG. It's always amazing, always different, always beautiful. Here are some photos of our backyard... http://picasaweb.google.com/seraphim37/Sunrises
June 10, 2009 at 21:09 |
Seraphim
Seraphim
Hi Seraphim,
>>> @Mike RE Arizona and Big Sur: Ah yes, the silence of the desert. It truly is QUIET out here. I love going for morning walks before the sun rises (and the temperature goes up to 120). You can hear someone starting their car 2 miles away. <<<
I was only in AZ for a few weeks a few years ago but I was blown away. I did not mind the heat at all. It gets to a bit over 100 here in MD (near DC) but the humidity is the real killer.
>>> The desert does have its own unique beauty, and I really do love it. <<<
Yes, the peace and quiet ;-)
>>> It just doesn't have any trees. :-) <<<
No. And it does not have an ocean either. Life is choices ;-)
>>> At least, not any REAL trees. Palo verde and mesquite don't count for much when you've grown up in the redwoods. :-) <<<
Good point. But when I was in AZ it was April and the desert was in full bloom. Magnificent.
>>. The Arizona sky is so BIG. It's always amazing, always different, always beautiful. Here are some photos of our backyard... http://picasaweb.google.com/seraphim37/Sunrises <<<
Amazing! And the air is so clear that things look so much closer than they are.
>>> @Mike RE Arizona and Big Sur: Ah yes, the silence of the desert. It truly is QUIET out here. I love going for morning walks before the sun rises (and the temperature goes up to 120). You can hear someone starting their car 2 miles away. <<<
I was only in AZ for a few weeks a few years ago but I was blown away. I did not mind the heat at all. It gets to a bit over 100 here in MD (near DC) but the humidity is the real killer.
>>> The desert does have its own unique beauty, and I really do love it. <<<
Yes, the peace and quiet ;-)
>>> It just doesn't have any trees. :-) <<<
No. And it does not have an ocean either. Life is choices ;-)
>>> At least, not any REAL trees. Palo verde and mesquite don't count for much when you've grown up in the redwoods. :-) <<<
Good point. But when I was in AZ it was April and the desert was in full bloom. Magnificent.
>>. The Arizona sky is so BIG. It's always amazing, always different, always beautiful. Here are some photos of our backyard... http://picasaweb.google.com/seraphim37/Sunrises <<<
Amazing! And the air is so clear that things look so much closer than they are.
June 13, 2009 at 3:49 |
Mike
Mike
I have been following this discussion with interest ... here's a refreshing take on "goal-setting":
http://geniuscatalyst.com/geniusblog/2009/06/mnct-664-creating-the-impossible/
It's not the "what would you do if you knew you could not fail?" but "What would you love to create in your life or in the world, even if you knew you would probably fail?" !! ... and got engaged in the GAME/ LOVE / ADVENTURE of it ... to "have fun, learn heaps and make the impossible happen!"
Whether a young person could or couldn't see the whole vision of making that million dollars or whether it would satisfy in the end, or not .. I do think the JOURNEY *IS* THE REWARD ... because we don't have much, other than the journey, do we? And maybe that person might not know HOW at the outset, but maybe they would just go out and get themselves a mentor who would show them how!
And have you ever noticed how a SMART goal doesn't have to be one which is EMOTIONALLY DESIRABLE ? doesn't have to excite us or fire up the limbic /feeling brain? ;o)
Cognition is great, but a PERSISTENT BURNING DESIRE is tough to trump!
And what about EXTREME project management (which can be adapted for more personal goals) where the outcome is not necessarily clearly defined and there are lots of uncertainties, but where we / *I* am still moving in the direction I want to go in ! LIFE IS MESSY !!! :o)
http://geniuscatalyst.com/geniusblog/2009/06/mnct-664-creating-the-impossible/
It's not the "what would you do if you knew you could not fail?" but "What would you love to create in your life or in the world, even if you knew you would probably fail?" !! ... and got engaged in the GAME/ LOVE / ADVENTURE of it ... to "have fun, learn heaps and make the impossible happen!"
Whether a young person could or couldn't see the whole vision of making that million dollars or whether it would satisfy in the end, or not .. I do think the JOURNEY *IS* THE REWARD ... because we don't have much, other than the journey, do we? And maybe that person might not know HOW at the outset, but maybe they would just go out and get themselves a mentor who would show them how!
And have you ever noticed how a SMART goal doesn't have to be one which is EMOTIONALLY DESIRABLE ? doesn't have to excite us or fire up the limbic /feeling brain? ;o)
Cognition is great, but a PERSISTENT BURNING DESIRE is tough to trump!
And what about EXTREME project management (which can be adapted for more personal goals) where the outcome is not necessarily clearly defined and there are lots of uncertainties, but where we / *I* am still moving in the direction I want to go in ! LIFE IS MESSY !!! :o)
June 15, 2009 at 16:16 |
Bev
Bev
Bev, I very much highly recommend Tracy Goss' book - "The Last Word on Power" that Neill references (and is basing his Impossibility group on). It's the "best of est" I think.
June 15, 2009 at 23:45 |
Jacqueline
Jacqueline
THANKS, Jacqueline ! I do appreciate your postings so much, and your recommendations. I will be sure to check this book out (wow, it's been a long time since I've heard anyone mention est or Werner Erhard's name!)
BTW, I searched for a long while a couple of weeks ago for a post where you had said something like, "if you don't try to find the easy way to do something then you won't know it even exists." (bad paraphrase, which is why I was looking for your words!) Anyway, if you can remember which thread that might have been in, or if you could say it your way again, I was wanting it to save it in my "quotes to remember" file !! :o)
BTW, I searched for a long while a couple of weeks ago for a post where you had said something like, "if you don't try to find the easy way to do something then you won't know it even exists." (bad paraphrase, which is why I was looking for your words!) Anyway, if you can remember which thread that might have been in, or if you could say it your way again, I was wanting it to save it in my "quotes to remember" file !! :o)
June 16, 2009 at 16:48 |
Bev
Bev
Hey Bev,
I've always believed there's a lot of value in est/Landmark etc. I don't regret going through that program - the trick is not to throw the baby out with the bathwater.
I can't recall what you're referring to - I tend to remember other people's writing fairly well, but I don't re-read what I write - so I don't remember it. :-) It sounds like something I would say though. I used to drive my team crazy by saying "it's easy" a lot. They'd say "it's not easy - or "maybe it's easy for you, but not for me." I'd always tell them that if they said that it was easy / possible - then a) they acknowledge that there IS a solution - they just have identified it - yet; and b) it's probably blindingly obvious, we just have to look at things a different way.
Here's a summary of Goss' book:
http://www.frumi.com/images/uploads/TheLastWordonPower.pdf
(even if you just read p. 12 - reading that makes me feel as powerful as I did coming out of the Forum. Must have been something in the kool-aid that's causing flashbacks after all these years.) :-)
Here's a wonderful website on creative thinking by the author of "Thinkertoys" and "Cracking Creativity" (Michael Michalko):
http://www.creativethinking.net
And here's an excerpt from one of his articles:
Like nature, the contents of creative genius aren’t contained anywhere but also are revealed by the dynamics. When you look at the behaviors of creative geniuses such as Leonardo daVinci, Thomas Edison, Albert Einstein, Pablo Picasso and so on throughout the history of the world, you will find that, like the patterns of nature, the form and contents of their behaviors are inextricably connected and can’t be separated. Creators have the intention to create, and act and speak in a positive and joyful manner. Creators look at what is and what can be instead of what is not. Instead of excluding possibilities, creators consider all possibilities, both real and imagined. Creators interpret the world for themselves and disregard the interpretations of past thinkers. Creators learn how to look at things in different ways and use different ways of thinking. And most importantly, creators are creative because they believe they are creative and have the intention to create.
I've always believed there's a lot of value in est/Landmark etc. I don't regret going through that program - the trick is not to throw the baby out with the bathwater.
I can't recall what you're referring to - I tend to remember other people's writing fairly well, but I don't re-read what I write - so I don't remember it. :-) It sounds like something I would say though. I used to drive my team crazy by saying "it's easy" a lot. They'd say "it's not easy - or "maybe it's easy for you, but not for me." I'd always tell them that if they said that it was easy / possible - then a) they acknowledge that there IS a solution - they just have identified it - yet; and b) it's probably blindingly obvious, we just have to look at things a different way.
Here's a summary of Goss' book:
http://www.frumi.com/images/uploads/TheLastWordonPower.pdf
(even if you just read p. 12 - reading that makes me feel as powerful as I did coming out of the Forum. Must have been something in the kool-aid that's causing flashbacks after all these years.) :-)
Here's a wonderful website on creative thinking by the author of "Thinkertoys" and "Cracking Creativity" (Michael Michalko):
http://www.creativethinking.net
And here's an excerpt from one of his articles:
Like nature, the contents of creative genius aren’t contained anywhere but also are revealed by the dynamics. When you look at the behaviors of creative geniuses such as Leonardo daVinci, Thomas Edison, Albert Einstein, Pablo Picasso and so on throughout the history of the world, you will find that, like the patterns of nature, the form and contents of their behaviors are inextricably connected and can’t be separated. Creators have the intention to create, and act and speak in a positive and joyful manner. Creators look at what is and what can be instead of what is not. Instead of excluding possibilities, creators consider all possibilities, both real and imagined. Creators interpret the world for themselves and disregard the interpretations of past thinkers. Creators learn how to look at things in different ways and use different ways of thinking. And most importantly, creators are creative because they believe they are creative and have the intention to create.
June 16, 2009 at 21:42 |
Jacqueline
Jacqueline
Hi Jacqueline
Your passage has me welling up inside.....many people simply don't understand our fierce loyalty to our talents and passions, why we can paint for 30 hours straight until we drop, feeling put out to have to eat, sleep or relieve ourselves while we are engaged in our creative reverie.......
Thank you for casting a bit more light on our state of being.....our doing is our being when we're discovering and creating.....The two are the one and the same. The air I'm breathing is no different than the brush I'm holding in my hand. When we're fortunate enough to be in this state,.........it feels as though everything in my existance is in a synergistic collaboration with my passionate flow. It feels like I'm making love to the world.
learning as I go
Your passage has me welling up inside.....many people simply don't understand our fierce loyalty to our talents and passions, why we can paint for 30 hours straight until we drop, feeling put out to have to eat, sleep or relieve ourselves while we are engaged in our creative reverie.......
Thank you for casting a bit more light on our state of being.....our doing is our being when we're discovering and creating.....The two are the one and the same. The air I'm breathing is no different than the brush I'm holding in my hand. When we're fortunate enough to be in this state,.........it feels as though everything in my existance is in a synergistic collaboration with my passionate flow. It feels like I'm making love to the world.
learning as I go
June 17, 2009 at 0:19 |
learning as I go
learning as I go
p.s.
This isn't restricted to art.......I also felt this way with mathematics, physics, writing, some gymnastics, dance, and some of my sports.....Creative divinity isn't really restricted at all......nor can it be forced. At best, you can invite your soul to engage in the dance......whatever the source.
learning as I go
This isn't restricted to art.......I also felt this way with mathematics, physics, writing, some gymnastics, dance, and some of my sports.....Creative divinity isn't really restricted at all......nor can it be forced. At best, you can invite your soul to engage in the dance......whatever the source.
learning as I go
June 17, 2009 at 0:29 |
learning as I go
learning as I go
p.s.s.
Don't laugh but.....I truly believe that the seed from which all creative processes germinate is ......curiosity
learning as I go
Don't laugh but.....I truly believe that the seed from which all creative processes germinate is ......curiosity
learning as I go
June 17, 2009 at 0:55 |
learning as I go
learning as I go
learning, you remind me of Jack Kerouac talking about Neal Cassady in "On the Road":
"the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones that never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn..."
My youngest son is like that. I hope he never loses his joie de vivre.
"the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones that never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn..."
My youngest son is like that. I hope he never loses his joie de vivre.
June 17, 2009 at 5:12 |
Jacqueline
Jacqueline
(((Jacqueline)))
I'm sure that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree! I love your mind!
learning as I go
I'm sure that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree! I love your mind!
learning as I go
June 17, 2009 at 8:18 |
learning as I go
learning as I go
JACQUELINE: THANK you again ! so much !! I read page 12 first and am slowly going through the whole document. It is great. I have just completed / celebrated my 10th anniversary of self-employment and when I was doing a review, I realized I had achieved all my initial goals. But ... I was never really happy with my "strategy." At this juncture I have the opportunity to reinvent my company and change the trajectory of my life, which is something I have wanted for a long time, so "making a declaration for going for the impossible" is rather inviting! :o) I want to go WAY BEYOND a SMART goal ! :o)
Yes, you had mentioned the "it's easy" in relation to your team, before ... I will still add your idea to my "quotes" list ! ;o)
I appreciate the link to ThinkerToys ... I had originally come upon Michael Michalko's work when I was doing research around the ThinkBlocks (http://www.thinkandthrive.com), but I had never looked into his work seriously.
THANKS AGAIN.
Learning as I Go: Glad you finally joined this discussion too !! :o)
I have certainly found in my own life that my "passions" have been a driving force which have transcended any "goal" I may have had!
Yes, you had mentioned the "it's easy" in relation to your team, before ... I will still add your idea to my "quotes" list ! ;o)
I appreciate the link to ThinkerToys ... I had originally come upon Michael Michalko's work when I was doing research around the ThinkBlocks (http://www.thinkandthrive.com), but I had never looked into his work seriously.
THANKS AGAIN.
Learning as I Go: Glad you finally joined this discussion too !! :o)
I have certainly found in my own life that my "passions" have been a driving force which have transcended any "goal" I may have had!
June 17, 2009 at 17:37 |
Bev
Bev
Hi Bev
I didn't bother engaging in this topic because I've already stated my life practices......It's all about your values, principles and passions both creating and guiding your life trajectory while welcoming life's unexpected gifts along the way. It's the stuff of a life well lived! Gratitude is always the partner of courage and honor. Goals, even if brought to fruition, merely start as hunches.......and reminders of the life you're expanding upon. When your mind is determined, yet open .............magic happens!
learning as I go
I didn't bother engaging in this topic because I've already stated my life practices......It's all about your values, principles and passions both creating and guiding your life trajectory while welcoming life's unexpected gifts along the way. It's the stuff of a life well lived! Gratitude is always the partner of courage and honor. Goals, even if brought to fruition, merely start as hunches.......and reminders of the life you're expanding upon. When your mind is determined, yet open .............magic happens!
learning as I go
June 17, 2009 at 19:07 |
learning as I go
learning as I go
Bev, I am so very excited for you!! I'm doing the same kind of thing in about 7 months - I think of it as creating a vacuum for fun things to appear. :-)
"What would you do if you absolutely knew you could not fail?"
seems as weak a question as "What is achievable?"
when compared to an Impossibility:
"What is it that, even absolutely knowing you will fail, you would still choose to do?"
Then you back away from the outcome - because the outcome doesn't matter. And focus on the practice, and love of that practice. And if you're following your love for that practice, you can never fail anyway - so in fact, you have succeeded.
That reminds me of a bunch of years ago when I would work on my goals and I'd always have some kind of financial target and I could never seem to push myself to save enough or make more - I'd always seem to sabotage myself in one way or another and my luck never seemed to be very good either. :-)
Then I finally had my own epiphany that what I wanted money for wasn't for the sake of accumulation (like my miser father/uncles) or ego (like my brothers) or anything really but the chance to be free and to get more of an opportunity to do things I really enjoyed and felt were challenging. At that point, I started working at jobs that promised me a relatively large amount of freedom within employment. Yet these jobs were also substantially higher paying - go figure. (learning as I go - accounting is like one big sudoku game to me...I love it! ) :-)
Once I came to the realization however that I wanted freedom, it was like buying 'things' began to represent a loss of freedom to me. My big house was more to clean, more books meant clutter, etc etc. It became super easy to save because I had nothing I wanted to spend on - my life was complete - and because I loved my jobs and did well in them other opportunities appeared.
But my point is - that yes, I could have won $$ on a lottery ticket (maybe not since I've never bought a ticket) and bought my "freedom" instantly. But I think I would have lost that $ in the end because I wouldn't have learned the lessons from the pursuit - and realized that it was there all along.
Sorry for the rambling - my mind races when I'm excited and I need time to process things.... :-)
"What would you do if you absolutely knew you could not fail?"
seems as weak a question as "What is achievable?"
when compared to an Impossibility:
"What is it that, even absolutely knowing you will fail, you would still choose to do?"
Then you back away from the outcome - because the outcome doesn't matter. And focus on the practice, and love of that practice. And if you're following your love for that practice, you can never fail anyway - so in fact, you have succeeded.
That reminds me of a bunch of years ago when I would work on my goals and I'd always have some kind of financial target and I could never seem to push myself to save enough or make more - I'd always seem to sabotage myself in one way or another and my luck never seemed to be very good either. :-)
Then I finally had my own epiphany that what I wanted money for wasn't for the sake of accumulation (like my miser father/uncles) or ego (like my brothers) or anything really but the chance to be free and to get more of an opportunity to do things I really enjoyed and felt were challenging. At that point, I started working at jobs that promised me a relatively large amount of freedom within employment. Yet these jobs were also substantially higher paying - go figure. (learning as I go - accounting is like one big sudoku game to me...I love it! ) :-)
Once I came to the realization however that I wanted freedom, it was like buying 'things' began to represent a loss of freedom to me. My big house was more to clean, more books meant clutter, etc etc. It became super easy to save because I had nothing I wanted to spend on - my life was complete - and because I loved my jobs and did well in them other opportunities appeared.
But my point is - that yes, I could have won $$ on a lottery ticket (maybe not since I've never bought a ticket) and bought my "freedom" instantly. But I think I would have lost that $ in the end because I wouldn't have learned the lessons from the pursuit - and realized that it was there all along.
Sorry for the rambling - my mind races when I'm excited and I need time to process things.... :-)
June 17, 2009 at 19:18 |
Jacqueline
Jacqueline
Jacqueline:
"What is it that, even absolutely knowing you will fail, you would still choose to do?"
That is a very powerful question, and especially relevant for people like me who have passed the age at which it is going to be possible to do many things, e.g. become a top ballet dancer, win an Olympic gold medal, etc.
But what happens if you still have the vision and keep working towards it? Amazing things - even if they don't include that gold medal.
I remember getting myself to the dentist once when I was resisting it hard by giving myself the vision of having perfect teeth. I don't think my teeth will ever be perfect again, but the vision got me moving!
"What is it that, even absolutely knowing you will fail, you would still choose to do?"
That is a very powerful question, and especially relevant for people like me who have passed the age at which it is going to be possible to do many things, e.g. become a top ballet dancer, win an Olympic gold medal, etc.
But what happens if you still have the vision and keep working towards it? Amazing things - even if they don't include that gold medal.
I remember getting myself to the dentist once when I was resisting it hard by giving myself the vision of having perfect teeth. I don't think my teeth will ever be perfect again, but the vision got me moving!
June 18, 2009 at 11:53 |
Mark Forster
Mark Forster
Mark,
>>> That is a very powerful question, and especially relevant for people like me who have passed the age at which it is going to be possible to do many things, e.g. become a top ballet dancer, <<<
RFOTFLMAO ;-) I can just see the next book along the lines of "What Color is Your Parachute" .... "What Color is Your Tutu." LOL ;-)
>>> That is a very powerful question, and especially relevant for people like me who have passed the age at which it is going to be possible to do many things, e.g. become a top ballet dancer, <<<
RFOTFLMAO ;-) I can just see the next book along the lines of "What Color is Your Parachute" .... "What Color is Your Tutu." LOL ;-)
June 18, 2009 at 12:23 |
Mike
Mike
Mike:
That's not a bad idea. The equivalent of WCYP for retired people.
That's not a bad idea. The equivalent of WCYP for retired people.
June 18, 2009 at 12:26 |
Mark Forster
Mark Forster
Mike, you laugh, but I think there's a market out there amongst all these retiring baby boomers in the next 10 years that are completely disconnected from any dreams they may have had. And believe me, I've read a ton of stuff out there on retirement and it's all pretty damn boring. That's why so many of them will go back to work at something below their abilities - like working part time at Wal Mart - because they're bored and don't know what to do with themselves.
June 18, 2009 at 13:31 |
Jacqueline
Jacqueline
Hi Jacqueline
My ex husband regularly whined "I'm bored!" I just couldn't wrap my head around it.....he wasn't on the job following orders, nor was he engaged in honoring a boring responsibility.........he was free to do whatever he wished! (eliminating criminal activity, of course!).........I never quite understood how anybody could be bored on their own watch! LOL!
learning as I go
My ex husband regularly whined "I'm bored!" I just couldn't wrap my head around it.....he wasn't on the job following orders, nor was he engaged in honoring a boring responsibility.........he was free to do whatever he wished! (eliminating criminal activity, of course!).........I never quite understood how anybody could be bored on their own watch! LOL!
learning as I go
June 18, 2009 at 15:11 |
learning as I go
learning as I go
p.s.
Again, I reitterate.....I don't believe you even need to have any fleshed out dreams or goals........just curiousity. When I'm in that nano second deciding what to do.......the loudest interest or pleasure or challange wins if I'm free-wheeling it. How could anybody be devoid of being interested in something?
learning as I go
Again, I reitterate.....I don't believe you even need to have any fleshed out dreams or goals........just curiousity. When I'm in that nano second deciding what to do.......the loudest interest or pleasure or challange wins if I'm free-wheeling it. How could anybody be devoid of being interested in something?
learning as I go
June 18, 2009 at 15:18 |
learning as I go
learning as I go
I am with you learning. Bored isn't in my vocabulary.
June 18, 2009 at 15:41 |
Mel
Mel
Hi Mel
I wish I could be in your position.............That's why I have my daily 90" scut cap! ROTFL!
I decided that I only allow that maximum cap of trudging through boring responsibilities daily(unless I'm intentionally freeing up future time as well)! LOL! The remaining hours are my reward! ROTFL! The 30"peace contract is the hub of the wheel that ensures staying current on the most important matters or having the guts to start something I feel trepidation about. Bottom Line.......The paradox of this is while I hate boring responsibilities, they do provide a great comparison to feel a proper gratitude and reverence for my actual free time. I like to use both the calendar and spontaneity to engage in my passions and interests and people.....The mix is good for me....
(To those desperately looking for a venue to debate ......No symantics games....I know I'm free to ignore my responsibilities, and I did freely choose to honor them....yada...yada...yada.....)
learning as I go
I wish I could be in your position.............That's why I have my daily 90" scut cap! ROTFL!
I decided that I only allow that maximum cap of trudging through boring responsibilities daily(unless I'm intentionally freeing up future time as well)! LOL! The remaining hours are my reward! ROTFL! The 30"peace contract is the hub of the wheel that ensures staying current on the most important matters or having the guts to start something I feel trepidation about. Bottom Line.......The paradox of this is while I hate boring responsibilities, they do provide a great comparison to feel a proper gratitude and reverence for my actual free time. I like to use both the calendar and spontaneity to engage in my passions and interests and people.....The mix is good for me....
(To those desperately looking for a venue to debate ......No symantics games....I know I'm free to ignore my responsibilities, and I did freely choose to honor them....yada...yada...yada.....)
learning as I go
June 18, 2009 at 16:35 |
learning as I go
learning as I go
Mike,
You might get hooked on cycling. Very similar to running, with that feeling of the world flowing past you, but without the pounding.
You might get hooked on cycling. Very similar to running, with that feeling of the world flowing past you, but without the pounding.
June 18, 2009 at 19:18 |
Kathy
Kathy
Jacqueline,
>>> Mike, you laugh, but I think there's a market out there amongst all these retiring baby boomers in the next 10 years that are completely disconnected from any dreams they may have had. And believe me, I've read a ton of stuff out there on retirement and it's all pretty damn boring. That's why so many of them will go back to work at something below their abilities - like working part time at Wal Mart - because they're bored and don't know what to do with themselves. <<<
Not so much with the idea as with the image. Yes, there is a market for material to help the retired start a "second life".
Actually, there is a hell of a market for things marketed to seniors, if you are looking for emerging markets. As a card carrying senior, I can tell you that the way the world works presents many challenges to seniors.
- Readable documents, web pages, etc. Hey, we can't read fine print without a microscope!
- Quiet places. The continual din of music in stores and restaurants really begins to grate after a while.
- Louder AND more clear communication. It is hard enough to hear over the phone at times, but when the speaker has forsaken all consonants and just kind of "drools" his/her speech, it is almost impossible.
- I don't know if anyone really can grasp what tech support personnel are saying when it is in India, but I know it is hard for me.
- Simpler devices. I'm a technically oriented person and I'm even starting to have trouble with the virtually infinite options managed by small switches and buttons. I think Apple is on the right track in this case.
- Simpler contracts, plans, rules, systems, etc. ... in general. It is like cutting through a jungle to untangle a health plan document, or auto insurance, or home owners insurance policy. Good grief ... it just gets harder every year. I don't know if it is just getting harder because I'm getting older or because the documents themselves are more complex. Probably some of both. I mean, buying a 1/2 $M home is a big deal, but the contract is relatively short and nicely laid out in numbered paragraphs that are mostly comprehensible. Why can't my health plan be that easy to understand? Sheeesh!
- Seniors lose driving privileges (or should) when they can no longer see well or react quickly or even make decisions. This is going to lead to a HUGE section of the population who are relatively immobile. There is going to be an increasing market in home services. And an increasing problem with fraud. The possibilities are endless.
- Money! You are an accountant. How much bigger will the market be for those who need help understanding investments and such ... making sound decisions about selling their homes, reverse mortgages, selling down IRAs, etc.? Trivial to you, rocket science to most of the older folk.
Yes, some will want to go back to work, and there is a market there. At some point, all will need more support.
>>> Mike, you laugh, but I think there's a market out there amongst all these retiring baby boomers in the next 10 years that are completely disconnected from any dreams they may have had. And believe me, I've read a ton of stuff out there on retirement and it's all pretty damn boring. That's why so many of them will go back to work at something below their abilities - like working part time at Wal Mart - because they're bored and don't know what to do with themselves. <<<
Not so much with the idea as with the image. Yes, there is a market for material to help the retired start a "second life".
Actually, there is a hell of a market for things marketed to seniors, if you are looking for emerging markets. As a card carrying senior, I can tell you that the way the world works presents many challenges to seniors.
- Readable documents, web pages, etc. Hey, we can't read fine print without a microscope!
- Quiet places. The continual din of music in stores and restaurants really begins to grate after a while.
- Louder AND more clear communication. It is hard enough to hear over the phone at times, but when the speaker has forsaken all consonants and just kind of "drools" his/her speech, it is almost impossible.
- I don't know if anyone really can grasp what tech support personnel are saying when it is in India, but I know it is hard for me.
- Simpler devices. I'm a technically oriented person and I'm even starting to have trouble with the virtually infinite options managed by small switches and buttons. I think Apple is on the right track in this case.
- Simpler contracts, plans, rules, systems, etc. ... in general. It is like cutting through a jungle to untangle a health plan document, or auto insurance, or home owners insurance policy. Good grief ... it just gets harder every year. I don't know if it is just getting harder because I'm getting older or because the documents themselves are more complex. Probably some of both. I mean, buying a 1/2 $M home is a big deal, but the contract is relatively short and nicely laid out in numbered paragraphs that are mostly comprehensible. Why can't my health plan be that easy to understand? Sheeesh!
- Seniors lose driving privileges (or should) when they can no longer see well or react quickly or even make decisions. This is going to lead to a HUGE section of the population who are relatively immobile. There is going to be an increasing market in home services. And an increasing problem with fraud. The possibilities are endless.
- Money! You are an accountant. How much bigger will the market be for those who need help understanding investments and such ... making sound decisions about selling their homes, reverse mortgages, selling down IRAs, etc.? Trivial to you, rocket science to most of the older folk.
Yes, some will want to go back to work, and there is a market there. At some point, all will need more support.
June 19, 2009 at 4:33 |
Mike
Mike
Kathy,
>>> You might get hooked on cycling. Very similar to running, with that feeling of the world flowing past you, but without the pounding. <<<
Yes, my wife is a big cyclist. She loves it and has a trip planned for July. I'm not going to join her in the cycling because I'm not up for it yet ... I'll drive the "pace car" LOL ;-) But I'm servicing my bike as I service hers and I'll start building up over the summer and maybe next year I'll be ready.
>>> You might get hooked on cycling. Very similar to running, with that feeling of the world flowing past you, but without the pounding. <<<
Yes, my wife is a big cyclist. She loves it and has a trip planned for July. I'm not going to join her in the cycling because I'm not up for it yet ... I'll drive the "pace car" LOL ;-) But I'm servicing my bike as I service hers and I'll start building up over the summer and maybe next year I'll be ready.
June 19, 2009 at 4:35 |
Mike
Mike
Mike:
You didn't mention the one big advantage of being older - you no long give a **** what anyone thinks of you!
You didn't mention the one big advantage of being older - you no long give a **** what anyone thinks of you!
June 19, 2009 at 9:03 |
Mark Forster
Mark Forster
Mark, that reminds me of an old saying:
In your 20's you care so much about what people think of you, in your 30's you stop caring and just do your thing, and in your 40's you realise that no one was even thinking of you at all.
In your 20's you care so much about what people think of you, in your 30's you stop caring and just do your thing, and in your 40's you realise that no one was even thinking of you at all.
June 19, 2009 at 14:29 |
Jacqueline
Jacqueline
Mark,
>>> You didn't mention the one big advantage of being older - you no long give a **** what anyone thinks of you! <<<
Yeah, I was so focused on possible markets that I forgot that BIG one. The other thing is that we become less fearful of things like Big Brother spying on us. After all, what are they going to do to us? I've been musing of late how the governments are going to control (or try to control) aging populations when the citizens have nothing to lose. I wonder how this will change the social landscape ... if at all.
>>> You didn't mention the one big advantage of being older - you no long give a **** what anyone thinks of you! <<<
Yeah, I was so focused on possible markets that I forgot that BIG one. The other thing is that we become less fearful of things like Big Brother spying on us. After all, what are they going to do to us? I've been musing of late how the governments are going to control (or try to control) aging populations when the citizens have nothing to lose. I wonder how this will change the social landscape ... if at all.
June 19, 2009 at 15:00 |
Mike
Mike
Hi Mike
ROTFL ......your previous post had me gasping for air it was so hilariously true! ROTFL
re: Big Brother.........I fear that WORST of all!!!!! I'm supposed to live with assistance but I'm PROVING that I can beat the odds......the mere thought of others governing my life affairs has me on CONSTANT red phone alert! AAACCCCKKKK! ! !
learning as I go
ROTFL ......your previous post had me gasping for air it was so hilariously true! ROTFL
re: Big Brother.........I fear that WORST of all!!!!! I'm supposed to live with assistance but I'm PROVING that I can beat the odds......the mere thought of others governing my life affairs has me on CONSTANT red phone alert! AAACCCCKKKK! ! !
learning as I go
June 19, 2009 at 15:18 |
learning as I go
learning as I go
Mike:
Don't worry... they can do plenty. Compulsory medication, euthanasia, taking over of assets, removal of decision-making powers, confinement, lack of insurance cover, age limits, infantilisation, etc. Most of it is already here... all done "for your own good" of course.
Don't worry... they can do plenty. Compulsory medication, euthanasia, taking over of assets, removal of decision-making powers, confinement, lack of insurance cover, age limits, infantilisation, etc. Most of it is already here... all done "for your own good" of course.
June 19, 2009 at 15:42 |
Mark Forster
Mark Forster
Hi Mark
You are preaching to the choir. As stated above.....I live in MORTAL FEAR of this!!! I put on such a show when I'm at the doctor's office.....I try to imitate normalcy as closely as I can! Even while waiting in the room unattended, I'll practically break my jaw to suppress ANY displays of discomfort just in case the room is being secretly monitored......Just me luck, someone from this forum is staff and will deduce who I am! ACCCKKKKK!!!!! I certainly don't want assisted living...............especially the personal care aspects of it! ACCCKKKK!!!!!!
learning as I go
You are preaching to the choir. As stated above.....I live in MORTAL FEAR of this!!! I put on such a show when I'm at the doctor's office.....I try to imitate normalcy as closely as I can! Even while waiting in the room unattended, I'll practically break my jaw to suppress ANY displays of discomfort just in case the room is being secretly monitored......Just me luck, someone from this forum is staff and will deduce who I am! ACCCKKKKK!!!!! I certainly don't want assisted living...............especially the personal care aspects of it! ACCCKKKK!!!!!!
learning as I go
June 19, 2009 at 15:53 |
learning as I go
learning as I go
Jacqueline: THANKS for continuing to inspire me with your support and ideas! I have certainly created a kind of "vacuum" in my life and sometimes these days it's a little more daunting than I anticipated! Thanks for reminding me I really WANTED this space! lol I do love this question:
--------
> an Impossibility: "What is it that, even absolutely knowing you will fail, you would still choose to do?"
Then you back away from the outcome - because the outcome doesn't matter. And focus on the practice, and love of that practice. And if you're following your love for that practice, you can never fail anyway - so in fact, you have succeeded.
--------
I am still waiting for my own "epiphany" of sorts ... where I sense an integration of all the various bits of me that don't quite harmonize, yet ...
> the chance to be free and to get more of an opportunity to do things I really enjoyed and felt were challenging.
YES! this is the direction .... :o)
--------
> an Impossibility: "What is it that, even absolutely knowing you will fail, you would still choose to do?"
Then you back away from the outcome - because the outcome doesn't matter. And focus on the practice, and love of that practice. And if you're following your love for that practice, you can never fail anyway - so in fact, you have succeeded.
--------
I am still waiting for my own "epiphany" of sorts ... where I sense an integration of all the various bits of me that don't quite harmonize, yet ...
> the chance to be free and to get more of an opportunity to do things I really enjoyed and felt were challenging.
YES! this is the direction .... :o)
June 21, 2009 at 16:18 |
Bev
Bev
Bev, have you ever read Barbara Sher's book "Refuse to Choose"? It's the best book I know for someone looking for integration of all of their various interests - or a clue as to how to incorporate all of them in your career / business. You don't commit to nothing - you commit to everything that interests you.
I also found useful Herminia Ibarra's book "Working Identity" - Unconcentional Strategies for Reinventing your Career. She has examples in there of people who were self-employed, not just people with jobs.
I think the key to both of them is that you generally don't find those a-ha moments in introspection and navel-gazing, you find them in actively going out and trying things on and using what you've learned about yourself in those new situations to refine what you want.
I also found useful Herminia Ibarra's book "Working Identity" - Unconcentional Strategies for Reinventing your Career. She has examples in there of people who were self-employed, not just people with jobs.
I think the key to both of them is that you generally don't find those a-ha moments in introspection and navel-gazing, you find them in actively going out and trying things on and using what you've learned about yourself in those new situations to refine what you want.
June 22, 2009 at 14:00 |
Jacqueline
Jacqueline
Hi Jacqueline ... I've not heard of either of those books! Thanks so much! :o) I will check them out. You are my muse. :o) I appreciate your reminder not to restrict my time waiting for the "epiphany" to the navel-gazing, but to actively try things on! :o)
(I would love there to be a "renovation" in my future, so I am also following your home stories with interest.)
(Not sure exactly when you are leaving for holidays, but do have a wonderful vacation! and we are already looking forward to your return !! :o) )
(I would love there to be a "renovation" in my future, so I am also following your home stories with interest.)
(Not sure exactly when you are leaving for holidays, but do have a wonderful vacation! and we are already looking forward to your return !! :o) )
June 22, 2009 at 16:24 |
Bev
Bev
Hi Jacqueline, how 'chunky' is the 'refuse to choose" book by Barbara Sher? Is it one of those books that can be encapsulated in a few pages or is it really worth reading the whole thing? Made a bit too many book purchases lately~!
June 22, 2009 at 19:13 |
Peter Knight
Peter Knight
Peter, here's the first 33 pages on google books. You can get a pretty good feel for the material from the introduction. I hear you on the buying side - it gets so pricy - and since I've been giving away a whole bunch of books, it pains me to think of how much I spent and makes me think three times before buying another! :-(
http://books.google.ca/books?id=xGVRPZA238sC&printsec=frontcover&dq=refuse+to+choose
http://books.google.ca/books?id=xGVRPZA238sC&printsec=frontcover&dq=refuse+to+choose
June 22, 2009 at 20:08 |
Jacqueline
Jacqueline
Thanks Jacqueline! I've been reading through the preview. I have at least 10 books that are being read 'little and often', mostly newly purchased, some based on forum recommendations. The purchases do add up quickly though, especially if they are charging over 10$ a book. I found Barbara Sher's wishcraft online freely available which is another one I want to read through!
June 23, 2009 at 0:02 |
Peter Knight
Peter Knight
Mark,
Re: Methods: I hear 'ya. OTOH, things are perhaps changing just a bit. Governments depend on the largest part of the population being somewhat docile. The largest part of the population is now aging and growing quickly. Over this side of the pond, the political landscape is almost hysteria over a medical system reform plan. Most years it has been talked about but quietly scuttled, but now it won't go away. I think it is because too many people are now directly affected and most of them are becoming "fearless". I dunno.
All of the methods you mention work very well, but maybe less so if they have to be applied to millions of people. OTOH, I'm not so sure of anything. I'd have thought by now that the idiocy of near strip searches to get on a plane would have blown up in the faces of the government (especially since the only people they do NOT stop are the actual terrorists)! Yet we still seem to be quite docile as we chew our collective cud. Maybe when the ACLU case about invasion of privacy with the new scanner that sees through clothes makes it to the Supremes we'll have a better read on things.
Re: For your own good: Yes, of course, as always. I was on vacation last week and at dinner we got a receipt for the drink my wife ordered. Service was a bit slow so I was reading the receipt and read: "For your convenience, a 15% tip has been added to the total." ROTF ;-) Beside the technical point that it was really added to the SUBtotal, the concept boggles the mind. And of course, this is on top of the $12/person/day mandatory tip added to our bill for the entire trip "for our convenience". Don'tcha just love it when people are so concerned about your convenience? OY.
Re: Methods: I hear 'ya. OTOH, things are perhaps changing just a bit. Governments depend on the largest part of the population being somewhat docile. The largest part of the population is now aging and growing quickly. Over this side of the pond, the political landscape is almost hysteria over a medical system reform plan. Most years it has been talked about but quietly scuttled, but now it won't go away. I think it is because too many people are now directly affected and most of them are becoming "fearless". I dunno.
All of the methods you mention work very well, but maybe less so if they have to be applied to millions of people. OTOH, I'm not so sure of anything. I'd have thought by now that the idiocy of near strip searches to get on a plane would have blown up in the faces of the government (especially since the only people they do NOT stop are the actual terrorists)! Yet we still seem to be quite docile as we chew our collective cud. Maybe when the ACLU case about invasion of privacy with the new scanner that sees through clothes makes it to the Supremes we'll have a better read on things.
Re: For your own good: Yes, of course, as always. I was on vacation last week and at dinner we got a receipt for the drink my wife ordered. Service was a bit slow so I was reading the receipt and read: "For your convenience, a 15% tip has been added to the total." ROTF ;-) Beside the technical point that it was really added to the SUBtotal, the concept boggles the mind. And of course, this is on top of the $12/person/day mandatory tip added to our bill for the entire trip "for our convenience". Don'tcha just love it when people are so concerned about your convenience? OY.
June 29, 2009 at 12:09 |
Mike
Mike
I just read a FREE ebook "How to be your own self life coach"
http://www.amazon.com/Your-Self-Life-Coach-ebook/dp/B00CGPDL8U/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1367862307&sr=1-3&keywords=how+to+be+your+own+self+life+coach
http://www.amazon.com/Your-Self-Life-Coach-ebook/dp/B00CGPDL8U/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1367862307&sr=1-3&keywords=how+to+be+your+own+self+life+coach
May 7, 2013 at 22:19 |
edmund
edmund
Edmund:
I note the book is written by W. Edmund Dykes, II. Is that you by any chance?
If so, could you tell us a bit more about it.
I note the book is written by W. Edmund Dykes, II. Is that you by any chance?
If so, could you tell us a bit more about it.
May 8, 2013 at 9:20 |
Mark Forster
Mark Forster
Picky point for the record only.
The problem I had with "have $1m" as a vision is the lack of detail. If he wants the glamour, then surely he needs to have much more than an abstract numerical concept?
Isn't it closer to a SMART goal than a vision?
This is really just a semantic game: it is clear that you see detail as important in visioning (just as Mike sees that it's important in planning). Thanks for the great example.
Regards,
Will