Discussion Forum > Personal experience with Mark's: How to Make Your Dreams...
avrum, I read the _Dreams_ book, and the exercises are waiting in the queue for a "Current Initiative" slot.
That slot is currently taken up implementing various ideas from _Do_It_Tomorrow_, which have been going well. SuperFocus still runs the show, but for example I am handling yesterday's email today—only one day's worth of email each day—leading to less time spent on email.
If you feel up to sharing your experience with the _Dreams_ exercises, you can count me among your audience.
That slot is currently taken up implementing various ideas from _Do_It_Tomorrow_, which have been going well. SuperFocus still runs the show, but for example I am handling yesterday's email today—only one day's worth of email each day—leading to less time spent on email.
If you feel up to sharing your experience with the _Dreams_ exercises, you can count me among your audience.
May 1, 2011 at 4:55 |
Bernie
Bernie
Hi Bernie.
Will do. I have another 50'ish pages to go until completion. It's very, very good.
Will do. I have another 50'ish pages to go until completion. It's very, very good.
May 1, 2011 at 14:56 |
avrum
avrum
Hi avrum,
I'm in the middle of reading it (actually more than halfway, about 30 pages to go), and I agree that it's very, very good. I've started some of the exercises also, but right now I'm stuck at the one about forgiving. I've put "work on vision" in my SF-list, so far that helps to get working on it about once or twice a week.
Thanks for bringing this up, good to hear others are working with it too!
I'm in the middle of reading it (actually more than halfway, about 30 pages to go), and I agree that it's very, very good. I've started some of the exercises also, but right now I'm stuck at the one about forgiving. I've put "work on vision" in my SF-list, so far that helps to get working on it about once or twice a week.
Thanks for bringing this up, good to hear others are working with it too!
May 2, 2011 at 12:30 |
Nicole
Nicole
Hi Nicole.
My intention was to finish reading the book, and then start the exercises. I'll post my questions/observations in this thread. Perhaps you'll share as well.
My intention was to finish reading the book, and then start the exercises. I'll post my questions/observations in this thread. Perhaps you'll share as well.
May 2, 2011 at 13:38 |
avrum
avrum
Hi Avrum,
I've thought about reading through first and then start the exercises, but knowing myself, I'd have more momentum with the exercises while still reading the book (the book is also very motivating to keep going with the exercises). I'll try to share here too, might make for an interesting discussion!
I've thought about reading through first and then start the exercises, but knowing myself, I'd have more momentum with the exercises while still reading the book (the book is also very motivating to keep going with the exercises). I'll try to share here too, might make for an interesting discussion!
May 2, 2011 at 13:45 |
Nicole
Nicole
I haven't read Dreams, but my experience with these sort of books is there's two approaches to reading:
a) Just read through it. Ideas will be added to your way of thinking, that may over time possibly eventually affect how you live, think, act.
b) Read with specific intent to act. As you read, consider whether you agree, disagree, or don't understand. (If you don't understand, read on, review, reflect, search for clarity.) Consider the implications, and how you can put the ideas into action. In this case there's exercises presented, so study, choose, and do stuff.
I'd say choose (b) if what you're reading looks to have a significant positive application for you.
a) Just read through it. Ideas will be added to your way of thinking, that may over time possibly eventually affect how you live, think, act.
b) Read with specific intent to act. As you read, consider whether you agree, disagree, or don't understand. (If you don't understand, read on, review, reflect, search for clarity.) Consider the implications, and how you can put the ideas into action. In this case there's exercises presented, so study, choose, and do stuff.
I'd say choose (b) if what you're reading looks to have a significant positive application for you.
May 2, 2011 at 14:33 |
Alan Baljeu
Alan Baljeu
For those who haven't got to the end yet, please note that there is "A Step by Step Course to Implement the Message of This Book" on the last two pages of the book.
May 2, 2011 at 15:54 |
Mark Forster
Mark Forster
How would you answer the "what's better" question, if the question was phrased: "what went well today"? I'm wondering why Mark went with better, rather than "went well". As well, I'm wondering about... "better than WHAT?"
May 4, 2011 at 2:01 |
avrum
avrum
avrum:
You're missing the point entirely. The aim of the "what's better?" question is to focus on growth. "What went well?" doesn't focus on growth. "Well" doesn't imply growth - it could be an entirely static situation.
Better than what? Better than it was before obviously. The aim is to find something, however small, which is better in a situation. There's always something - even when everything else is a disaster.
You're missing the point entirely. The aim of the "what's better?" question is to focus on growth. "What went well?" doesn't focus on growth. "Well" doesn't imply growth - it could be an entirely static situation.
Better than what? Better than it was before obviously. The aim is to find something, however small, which is better in a situation. There's always something - even when everything else is a disaster.
May 4, 2011 at 8:42 |
Mark Forster
Mark Forster
Mark:
<<You're missing the point entirely.>>
Perhaps. Though I'm still having trouble understanding how you differentiated between "well" and "better", particularly during the introduction of this idea (in your book).
<<The aim of the "what's better?" question is to focus on growth>>
I agree. But to do this, you need a starting point... something to compare progress to. In your book, you state:
"A good question to ask instead is, ‘What are the good things that happened today?’
An even better question is, ‘What was better about today?’
Again, better than what? You go on to give a few examples i.e. Had a brilliant idea for a new seminar, of what went well with your day. I don't see how that is better than your previous day.
I'm wondering if things would be clearer, for me anyway, if I did the "better than..." exercise AFTER doing the GAM method. This would provide a reference point for an honest answer. Otherwise, as I've experienced the last two nights, I'm answering the question: "What went well with my day". Not bad, but I prefer your suggested question: "What went better..."
<<You're missing the point entirely.>>
Perhaps. Though I'm still having trouble understanding how you differentiated between "well" and "better", particularly during the introduction of this idea (in your book).
<<The aim of the "what's better?" question is to focus on growth>>
I agree. But to do this, you need a starting point... something to compare progress to. In your book, you state:
"A good question to ask instead is, ‘What are the good things that happened today?’
An even better question is, ‘What was better about today?’
Again, better than what? You go on to give a few examples i.e. Had a brilliant idea for a new seminar, of what went well with your day. I don't see how that is better than your previous day.
I'm wondering if things would be clearer, for me anyway, if I did the "better than..." exercise AFTER doing the GAM method. This would provide a reference point for an honest answer. Otherwise, as I've experienced the last two nights, I'm answering the question: "What went well with my day". Not bad, but I prefer your suggested question: "What went better..."
May 4, 2011 at 15:01 |
avrum
avrum
Hi Avrum:
<<Had a brilliant idea for a new seminar, of what went well with your day. I don't see how that is better than your previous day>>
The previous day, there was no brilliant idea for a new seminar, which makes today better than yesterday.
I would've thought that what's better meant anything that made you feel good about your day, and not necessarily in relation to any previous point in time either. In fact, it could mean just feeling good about something in the here and now.
<<Had a brilliant idea for a new seminar, of what went well with your day. I don't see how that is better than your previous day>>
The previous day, there was no brilliant idea for a new seminar, which makes today better than yesterday.
I would've thought that what's better meant anything that made you feel good about your day, and not necessarily in relation to any previous point in time either. In fact, it could mean just feeling good about something in the here and now.
May 4, 2011 at 15:30 |
JD
JD
JD -
I find these folks: http://quantifiedself.com/ inspiring, in that they provide self-help/productivity efforts a degree of accountability and metrics. I think this helps avoid two things:
1. Delusional self i.e. Wow, I'm so much better than yesterday
2. Berating self i.e. Wow, I've done nothing since yesterday
I cycle everyday. I have no idea if I "did better" today than yesterday. To move from "what went well today" vs "what is better today", I think some form of metric would be helpful.
<<In fact, it could mean just feeling good about something in the here and now. >>
Which is fine. But, to my mind, that would answer: "What went well today..."
I find these folks: http://quantifiedself.com/ inspiring, in that they provide self-help/productivity efforts a degree of accountability and metrics. I think this helps avoid two things:
1. Delusional self i.e. Wow, I'm so much better than yesterday
2. Berating self i.e. Wow, I've done nothing since yesterday
I cycle everyday. I have no idea if I "did better" today than yesterday. To move from "what went well today" vs "what is better today", I think some form of metric would be helpful.
<<In fact, it could mean just feeling good about something in the here and now. >>
Which is fine. But, to my mind, that would answer: "What went well today..."
May 4, 2011 at 16:18 |
avrum
avrum
JD:
<< In fact, it could mean just feeling good about something in the here and now. >>
Only if you weren't feeling good, or as good, about it previously. Otherwise as avrum says it is answering the question "What went well today?" rather than "What went better today?"
<< In fact, it could mean just feeling good about something in the here and now. >>
Only if you weren't feeling good, or as good, about it previously. Otherwise as avrum says it is answering the question "What went well today?" rather than "What went better today?"
May 4, 2011 at 16:41 |
Mark Forster
Mark Forster
<<If it doesn't mean anything to you, I suggest you just leave it. >>
If it didn't mean anything to me, I wouldn't spend time discussing it. Moreover, I'm asking questions... seeking clarification, and, as previously expressed, find it helpful.
Where did I indicate that the exercise doesn't "mean anything"?
Mark - I apologize if I - unintentionally - put down your work.
If it didn't mean anything to me, I wouldn't spend time discussing it. Moreover, I'm asking questions... seeking clarification, and, as previously expressed, find it helpful.
Where did I indicate that the exercise doesn't "mean anything"?
Mark - I apologize if I - unintentionally - put down your work.
May 4, 2011 at 16:41 |
avrum
avrum
avrum:
Sorry, my previous answer was unnecessarily brusque. I deleted it almost immediately, but unfortunately not before you'd seen it.
Sorry, my previous answer was unnecessarily brusque. I deleted it almost immediately, but unfortunately not before you'd seen it.
May 4, 2011 at 16:42 |
Mark Forster
Mark Forster
To avoid this issue, when I designed DOIT, I tried to get people in the habit of measuring what is measurable. So for instance if you goal is weight loss, it is easy less is better. If your goal is exercise, more is usually better. I walked for 20 minutes versus 15 minutes. The better than concept is a great in the moment questions to use. What is a better use of my time. It is also a great feedback tool. what could I have done better to get a better outcome. I am also enjoying the book. Thanks
Gerry
Gerry
May 4, 2011 at 16:43 |
Gerry
Gerry
@Mark - much appreciated. Thank you. I very much enjoyed this book. Actually, your approach to goal-setting (intuition, etc) is very much in tune with what Steven Pressfield is discussing in his new book: "Do the work".
@Gerry - I'm fine without specific metrics. However I found dong the "what's better..." exercise, BEFORE having any short/long term goals or vision, confusing.
This discussion has helped, thanks.
@Gerry - I'm fine without specific metrics. However I found dong the "what's better..." exercise, BEFORE having any short/long term goals or vision, confusing.
This discussion has helped, thanks.
May 4, 2011 at 16:53 |
avrum
avrum
Gerry:
I agree that measuring what is measurable is a great tool. But it's not actually what this particular exercise is about.
The difference is that in the example you give you are measuring exercise results. To do this, you monitor how long you walked for (and/or other variables such as speed) on a daily basis. You may have other results you are monitoring but they are always specific.
Measurement of specifics like this is done in the "Current Situation" rather than in "What's Better?"
The aim of the "What's better?" list is to identify the growth points during the day, whatever they are. Certainly you might include an exercise result in your in your list, but the majority of items on the list will be things that you didn't set out specifically to measure.
The theory behind it is that paying attention to problems tends to result in more problems, while paying attention to growth tends to result in more growth.
I agree that measuring what is measurable is a great tool. But it's not actually what this particular exercise is about.
The difference is that in the example you give you are measuring exercise results. To do this, you monitor how long you walked for (and/or other variables such as speed) on a daily basis. You may have other results you are monitoring but they are always specific.
Measurement of specifics like this is done in the "Current Situation" rather than in "What's Better?"
The aim of the "What's better?" list is to identify the growth points during the day, whatever they are. Certainly you might include an exercise result in your in your list, but the majority of items on the list will be things that you didn't set out specifically to measure.
The theory behind it is that paying attention to problems tends to result in more problems, while paying attention to growth tends to result in more growth.
May 4, 2011 at 16:58 |
Mark Forster
Mark Forster
"What's better" makes perfect sense to me. For any particular item, you compare it to things you remember previously. Every good new idea counts, because it adds to your idea collection. If you fix your car, the car is better. If you lost a pound, your physique is better. If you discovered a great source for strawberry rhubarb pie, your knowledge of pies is better.
I suppose mostly you would focus on goal-related things and reflect on what things mean your goal is closer to becoming reality.
I suppose mostly you would focus on goal-related things and reflect on what things mean your goal is closer to becoming reality.
May 4, 2011 at 17:16 |
Alan Baljeu
Alan Baljeu
Mark - what was your thinking vis-a-vis to-do lists... AF lists, etc, while writing this book? Throughout the book you mention using feelings/intuition as a guide to get the right things done. I don't recall any list being used. It sounds liberating. Was it? Were you employing a list, or system, while writing the book?
May 4, 2011 at 17:16 |
avrum
avrum
WRITING POWERFUL GOALS (Pg 22 - 31)
Exercise 6: Choose an easy, small goal
For those doing, or have done, the exercises.. do you do the goal setting exercise AND "what's better" exercise at night... in the AM? Perhaps you do one in the AM, and one in the evening. Just curious.
Exercise 6: Choose an easy, small goal
For those doing, or have done, the exercises.. do you do the goal setting exercise AND "what's better" exercise at night... in the AM? Perhaps you do one in the AM, and one in the evening. Just curious.
May 5, 2011 at 15:49 |
avrum
avrum
Avrum:
You do what you feel like doing without using any to-do lists or using any time management systems.
But please note that this will only work if you do the exercises systematically. Otherwise you will find yourself in Drift mode instead of in Pull mode.
You do what you feel like doing without using any to-do lists or using any time management systems.
But please note that this will only work if you do the exercises systematically. Otherwise you will find yourself in Drift mode instead of in Pull mode.
May 5, 2011 at 16:39 |
Mark Forster
Mark Forster
<<You do what you feel like doing without using any to-do lists or using any time management systems. >>
That's what I suspected (after reading your book). Some random thoughts about this approach:
* My God, I'm a master at this :) Er, drifting, not pull.
* I intuitively know this will work (based on periods in my life where FLOW, productivity, growth and learning occurred simultaneously. No lists. No GTD. No fancy Moleskines or productivity software)
* (For Mark) Since this approached seemed to work wonders for you, why return to list-making i.e. AFs, DMW, etc?
I'm not about to abandon my ad hoc DWM + The Hit List approach yet. Though it would be an interesting experiment (something I could track on EDISON - http://edison.thinktrylearn.com/ - to go full-on w/ intuition/pull without any to-do lists, etc.
Hmmmm....
That's what I suspected (after reading your book). Some random thoughts about this approach:
* My God, I'm a master at this :) Er, drifting, not pull.
* I intuitively know this will work (based on periods in my life where FLOW, productivity, growth and learning occurred simultaneously. No lists. No GTD. No fancy Moleskines or productivity software)
* (For Mark) Since this approached seemed to work wonders for you, why return to list-making i.e. AFs, DMW, etc?
I'm not about to abandon my ad hoc DWM + The Hit List approach yet. Though it would be an interesting experiment (something I could track on EDISON - http://edison.thinktrylearn.com/ - to go full-on w/ intuition/pull without any to-do lists, etc.
Hmmmm....
May 5, 2011 at 18:05 |
avrum
avrum
avrum:
<< * (For Mark) Since this approached seemed to work wonders for you, why return to list-making i.e. AFs, DMW, etc? >>
Because I felt like it.
<< * (For Mark) Since this approached seemed to work wonders for you, why return to list-making i.e. AFs, DMW, etc? >>
Because I felt like it.
May 5, 2011 at 22:41 |
Mark Forster
Mark Forster
<<Because I felt like it. >>
Ah - you discuss this throughout the book.
Ah - you discuss this throughout the book.
May 6, 2011 at 0:25 |
avrum
avrum
Hi avrum,
>Exercise 6: Choose an easy, small goal
>
>For those doing, or have done, the exercises.. do you do the goal setting exercise AND "what's >better" exercise at night... in the AM? Perhaps you do one in the AM, and one in the evening. >Just curious.
I do the exercises in journlr, grouped by exercise or topic. I've put "journlr" in my SF-list, and when I do that task, I work on whatever exercise I feel like. Mostly that's all of them (vision, goal, present), but sometimes it's only one. I've also put the separate exercises in my SF-list, but I find that I mostly end up in journlr through the 'journlr'-task and then work on multiple exercises.
BTW, I keep the 'what's better' notes in a small paper notebook I carry with me, because that's slightly more accessible for me during the day.
>Exercise 6: Choose an easy, small goal
>
>For those doing, or have done, the exercises.. do you do the goal setting exercise AND "what's >better" exercise at night... in the AM? Perhaps you do one in the AM, and one in the evening. >Just curious.
I do the exercises in journlr, grouped by exercise or topic. I've put "journlr" in my SF-list, and when I do that task, I work on whatever exercise I feel like. Mostly that's all of them (vision, goal, present), but sometimes it's only one. I've also put the separate exercises in my SF-list, but I find that I mostly end up in journlr through the 'journlr'-task and then work on multiple exercises.
BTW, I keep the 'what's better' notes in a small paper notebook I carry with me, because that's slightly more accessible for me during the day.
May 6, 2011 at 8:33 |
Nicole
Nicole
Thanks Nicole. I'm trying to figure out a system for myself. Currently, I'm doing the "better" exercise in my sketch journal (Moleskine) and all other exercises in Evernote.
I'm thinking that, once I've set up my long term goal, to go list-less for a certain duration. To try pull for a month or so. Have you given that a shot?
I'm thinking that, once I've set up my long term goal, to go list-less for a certain duration. To try pull for a month or so. Have you given that a shot?
May 6, 2011 at 14:07 |
avrum
avrum
Very curious Mark: Do you (can you) operate both Dremaing and SuperFocus at once? Is there an approach to this?
May 6, 2011 at 15:30 |
Alan Baljeu
Alan Baljeu
Alan - the question I'm pondering isn't "Can you..." but "Would it be better to..." i.e. Would it be better to forgo all TM systems when doing Dreams...
Based on what I've read, I'm thinking... YES )
Based on what I've read, I'm thinking... YES )
May 6, 2011 at 16:00 |
avrum
avrum
No, I haven't tried listless yet. From previous experiences I know that I tend to go drifting then, but maybe with sufficient pull from a really attractive vision it could work.
May 6, 2011 at 17:00 |
Nicole
Nicole
I tend to think listless is ok for big life goals which you are after, but for mundane day to day stuff a list frees your mind to work on bigger stuff. I would not want to manage a career with a big over riding goal and no list.
Gerry
Gerry
May 6, 2011 at 18:10 |
Gerry
Gerry
How can I get a copy of this book in the US? Amazon lists at $165. I know Mark is good but the Mrs wouldn't let me spend that much money on books this month.
May 6, 2011 at 18:18 |
Bay Area Fox
Bay Area Fox
Mark has generously made it available for free on this site.
http://www.markforster.net/blog/2011/1/29/how-to-make-your-dreams-come-true.html
http://www.markforster.net/blog/2011/1/29/how-to-make-your-dreams-come-true.html
May 6, 2011 at 19:06 |
Gerry
Gerry
<<No, I haven't tried listless yet>> - Nicole
<<I would not want to manage a career with a big over riding goal and no list>> - Gerry
I understand the anxiety behind not wanting to go without a list (particularly for fans of this site). What I'm wondering is... how many have implemented this method (not drifting, but pull... and with all the required exercises) and can provide an objective opinion about the efficacy of this approach? I'm seriously considering doing this... and using this site to chart my progress.
<<I would not want to manage a career with a big over riding goal and no list>> - Gerry
I understand the anxiety behind not wanting to go without a list (particularly for fans of this site). What I'm wondering is... how many have implemented this method (not drifting, but pull... and with all the required exercises) and can provide an objective opinion about the efficacy of this approach? I'm seriously considering doing this... and using this site to chart my progress.
May 6, 2011 at 19:08 |
avrum
avrum
Alan:
<< Very curious Mark: Do you (can you) operate both Dremaing and SuperFocus at once? Is there an approach to this? >>
Probably not, but let me know if you find a way.
<< Very curious Mark: Do you (can you) operate both Dremaing and SuperFocus at once? Is there an approach to this? >>
Probably not, but let me know if you find a way.
May 6, 2011 at 23:35 |
Mark Forster
Mark Forster
RE: how to operate SF and Dreams at once,
Assuming one is currently using SF, why not write "begin Dreams exercises" in C1, get started when it stands out, and then continue using SF to the degree that one feels it?
If one's Dreams exercises work as intended, I'd expect SF to fade away, except perhaps for those pesky reminders that are a pain to remember mentally.
Assuming one is currently using SF, why not write "begin Dreams exercises" in C1, get started when it stands out, and then continue using SF to the degree that one feels it?
If one's Dreams exercises work as intended, I'd expect SF to fade away, except perhaps for those pesky reminders that are a pain to remember mentally.
May 7, 2011 at 6:10 |
Bernie
Bernie
I'm a fan of "Dreams" and still do the exercises frequently some 6 months after reading the book. The approach is more valuable to me when added to some NLP coaching questions/techniques eg What will be different when my goal is achieved? or What does my fear or my past say about this aim?
One character trait in myself that worked against me was that I wouldn't let myself feel fulfilled and satisfied until I'd achieved my goals. I have found I have to balance pursuing goals with taking breaks from striving / achieving and wanting and move to a state of relaxing into acceptance of life with its problems - and the realisation that things don't need me fixing them or making them right or better. I cannot always shape the world according to my liking with thinking, goals and willpower. Time for surrender and acceptance seem to unblock energy flows, a point Mark makes well in his book, in a different way.
One might say:
Goal: peace and fulfilment
Action: follow inspired action, without craving or longing or insisting things come in certain ways at certain times
One character trait in myself that worked against me was that I wouldn't let myself feel fulfilled and satisfied until I'd achieved my goals. I have found I have to balance pursuing goals with taking breaks from striving / achieving and wanting and move to a state of relaxing into acceptance of life with its problems - and the realisation that things don't need me fixing them or making them right or better. I cannot always shape the world according to my liking with thinking, goals and willpower. Time for surrender and acceptance seem to unblock energy flows, a point Mark makes well in his book, in a different way.
One might say:
Goal: peace and fulfilment
Action: follow inspired action, without craving or longing or insisting things come in certain ways at certain times
May 7, 2011 at 21:27 |
michael
michael
Michael - thanks for sharing.
I'm curious... during those 6 months, were you able to "Do what you feel like..." a la Mark, without a to-do list, etc?
I'm curious... during those 6 months, were you able to "Do what you feel like..." a la Mark, without a to-do list, etc?
May 8, 2011 at 2:52 |
avrum
avrum
Sometimes. I think perhaps the answer is that we often act with a sense of fear or tension or guilt. I would say we acting from a closed-up and compulsive part of us on those occasions.
Then again there are actions that feel open and relaxed. I would say the latter come from our "spirit" for want of a better word which you might see as having an overview of timings and events that our conscious ego has no access to. The key to doing what you "feel" like is developing the awareness to separate the two.
Then again there are actions that feel open and relaxed. I would say the latter come from our "spirit" for want of a better word which you might see as having an overview of timings and events that our conscious ego has no access to. The key to doing what you "feel" like is developing the awareness to separate the two.
May 8, 2011 at 10:17 |
michael
michael
Today was my Day One! I finished my prior Current Initiative, and my new one is to reread the _Dreams_ book, this time doing the exercises as I go. So far, the second read has been as exciting as the first, and more revealing. I have read the first two days' journaling and am about to start the What's Better List.
avrum and Nicole, any news on your experiences?
avrum and Nicole, any news on your experiences?
May 20, 2011 at 3:45 |
Bernie
Bernie
Hi Bernie,
keeping up with the What's Better List, but struggling to make self-coaching into a habit. I'm considering avrum's suggestion of talking into my iphone (should be possible during my daily commute by car), will let you know how that works out.
keeping up with the What's Better List, but struggling to make self-coaching into a habit. I'm considering avrum's suggestion of talking into my iphone (should be possible during my daily commute by car), will let you know how that works out.
May 20, 2011 at 14:07 |
Nicole
Nicole
<<What's Better List>>
I've been doing this for appx a week. Unfortunately, I'm not getting the same energetic boost that Mark experienced while doing this exercise. As well, I've added a "What's not going so well" list, which seems to have helped. The combination works better for me... makes the exercise feel less Stuart Smalley - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-DIETlxquzY
I find value in comparing a dream/long/short-term goal to my present reality. To date, I'm doing this daily with a short-term goal (Create a nightly ritual). The results are mixed, though progress is slowly taking shape.
I'm having a lot of difficulty with dialoguing/self-coaching. It feels forced/unnatural, and I can barely keep it going for more than a minute or two. I'm open to suggestions on how to make best use of this exercise i.e. How to create an authentic sounding Future Self. Still, my intuition tells me that this would be much more effective with a live coach.
<<struggling to make self-coaching into a habit>>
I'm struggling with this as well.
<<talking into my iphone>>
I'm now doing this with all the exercises: What's Better... Self-coaching... Future/Present
I've been doing this for appx a week. Unfortunately, I'm not getting the same energetic boost that Mark experienced while doing this exercise. As well, I've added a "What's not going so well" list, which seems to have helped. The combination works better for me... makes the exercise feel less Stuart Smalley - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-DIETlxquzY
I find value in comparing a dream/long/short-term goal to my present reality. To date, I'm doing this daily with a short-term goal (Create a nightly ritual). The results are mixed, though progress is slowly taking shape.
I'm having a lot of difficulty with dialoguing/self-coaching. It feels forced/unnatural, and I can barely keep it going for more than a minute or two. I'm open to suggestions on how to make best use of this exercise i.e. How to create an authentic sounding Future Self. Still, my intuition tells me that this would be much more effective with a live coach.
<<struggling to make self-coaching into a habit>>
I'm struggling with this as well.
<<talking into my iphone>>
I'm now doing this with all the exercises: What's Better... Self-coaching... Future/Present
May 21, 2011 at 0:40 |
avrum
avrum
By the way - would anyone be interested in discussing the above info via Skype?
May 21, 2011 at 0:43 |
avrum
avrum
avrum,
Having read your exchange with Mark above about the precise meaning of "what's better" and "compared to what?", I paid special attention to that exercise in the book (you might say, my mind filtered/homed in on it due to having already focused on it!). The word "growth" ended up standing out for me to make this idea concrete. I realize one might still say, "growth compared to what?" but for me the "growth" term feels easier to apply intuitively without getting bogged down in semantics. Simply: "what growth have you experienced today?" However, as I'm only about to start my *second* What's Better list, I am really not one to talk at this point (I haven't let it stop me, though!).
As for the self-coaching, I just made it through the Goal Ach. Method exercises today, so I have not started the actual dialog yet. I too feel a little "performance anxiety" about this, but I am hoping it won't feel much weirder than the talking to myself that I do anyway (aloud!) when I work out ideas.
From the rather naive perspective of Day Two, I can so far say this: today, I got done everything that mattered without really looking at the list I made last night or doing much SF scanning (even stayed caught up with my email without really noticing). I did use SF for most tasks, but I tended to write in C2 things that just came to me, mostly things that I know are on the list someplace and seemed to fit in nicely, while doing one or two semi-related C1's to turn pages. More importantly, I felt much more relaxed about getting everything done. Hmmm, there's one for the What's Better list!
<<By the way - would anyone be interested in discussing the above info via Skype?>>
Interesting idea, though I (still) don't Skype. (and somehow I've survived all this time ...) ;)
Having read your exchange with Mark above about the precise meaning of "what's better" and "compared to what?", I paid special attention to that exercise in the book (you might say, my mind filtered/homed in on it due to having already focused on it!). The word "growth" ended up standing out for me to make this idea concrete. I realize one might still say, "growth compared to what?" but for me the "growth" term feels easier to apply intuitively without getting bogged down in semantics. Simply: "what growth have you experienced today?" However, as I'm only about to start my *second* What's Better list, I am really not one to talk at this point (I haven't let it stop me, though!).
As for the self-coaching, I just made it through the Goal Ach. Method exercises today, so I have not started the actual dialog yet. I too feel a little "performance anxiety" about this, but I am hoping it won't feel much weirder than the talking to myself that I do anyway (aloud!) when I work out ideas.
From the rather naive perspective of Day Two, I can so far say this: today, I got done everything that mattered without really looking at the list I made last night or doing much SF scanning (even stayed caught up with my email without really noticing). I did use SF for most tasks, but I tended to write in C2 things that just came to me, mostly things that I know are on the list someplace and seemed to fit in nicely, while doing one or two semi-related C1's to turn pages. More importantly, I felt much more relaxed about getting everything done. Hmmm, there's one for the What's Better list!
<<By the way - would anyone be interested in discussing the above info via Skype?>>
Interesting idea, though I (still) don't Skype. (and somehow I've survived all this time ...) ;)
May 21, 2011 at 3:47 |
Bernie
Bernie
I've been doing the exercises for a few days as well. I've found the "What's Better" list very effective. I personally don't think it's overly "gooey" or happy-feely. I tend to think of it more "alright, quit your complaining, what's the solution?"
I've used the Goal Achievement method on a few tiny projects with success. One I wasn't motivated to do at all and the daily journaling allowed me to realize why. It's been subsumed into a "main goal" project (that I had found through the daily writing a few months ago).
I've been dialogging by talking to myself in the car during my commute. I've focused on the things that are going well, solutions, trying something different as opposed to the root issues of problems. It's also quite nice to affirm and expand what's going well with myself every morning before work.
Rewriting my vision has been exciting and entertaining. We'll see how it develops, since I've only started working on it.
I've been using SuperFocus exclusively for task management, so it's more that I'm using some techniques from "Dreams" rather than implementing it or a time management hybrid.
I've used the Goal Achievement method on a few tiny projects with success. One I wasn't motivated to do at all and the daily journaling allowed me to realize why. It's been subsumed into a "main goal" project (that I had found through the daily writing a few months ago).
I've been dialogging by talking to myself in the car during my commute. I've focused on the things that are going well, solutions, trying something different as opposed to the root issues of problems. It's also quite nice to affirm and expand what's going well with myself every morning before work.
Rewriting my vision has been exciting and entertaining. We'll see how it develops, since I've only started working on it.
I've been using SuperFocus exclusively for task management, so it's more that I'm using some techniques from "Dreams" rather than implementing it or a time management hybrid.
May 22, 2011 at 2:03 |
Ryan Freckleton
Ryan Freckleton
<<I'm not doing this with all the exercises: What's Better... Self-coaching... Future/Present >>
Er, that should have read: I'm NOW doing this... "
[corrected - MF]
Er, that should have read: I'm NOW doing this... "
[corrected - MF]
May 22, 2011 at 3:27 |
avrum
avrum
I'm experimenting with a change to Mark's notion of current reality and future vision from "Dreams".
I'm wondering if the comparison of the 2 states would yield better results if the results of the comparison became activities in C1 intended to change patterns of thought or habits of behaviour or addition of new qualities of energy. My belief is that this encourages the process of clarifying perceptions on what is wanted and the gains that the desired "vision" state will bring, along with what expanded perspective and evolution of oneself will be required to bring clarity, and then "right action" in pursuing the right goals for the best reasons.
I also plan on allowing a symbol to come from the unconscious to represent the desired future state and bringing the energy of it into my energy field and then to my thoughts and emotions, prompting "right action".
I'm wondering if the comparison of the 2 states would yield better results if the results of the comparison became activities in C1 intended to change patterns of thought or habits of behaviour or addition of new qualities of energy. My belief is that this encourages the process of clarifying perceptions on what is wanted and the gains that the desired "vision" state will bring, along with what expanded perspective and evolution of oneself will be required to bring clarity, and then "right action" in pursuing the right goals for the best reasons.
I also plan on allowing a symbol to come from the unconscious to represent the desired future state and bringing the energy of it into my energy field and then to my thoughts and emotions, prompting "right action".
May 24, 2011 at 18:48 |
michael
michael
Well, it's time. After working on a short-term goal for 7 days (with moderate success), I'm curious to see how this process will work with an anxiety-producing 3-5 year goal (something(s) I don't have but want/need). I'm curious if I will be able to sustain the discipline and motivation past the honeymoon period (often a few days). I'm thinking this forum, and many of you, will aid my efforts. So thank you in advance.
May 25, 2011 at 4:29 |
avrum
avrum
What my experiment yielded so far
Comparing current reality with vision highlights activity (=meaningful personal growth towards my personal ideals of who I could become), while still allowing actions generated from outer productivity and self-expression to be added to C1. C2 has become more inner focus on habits and attitudes to contemplate and/or visualise.
Comparing current reality with vision highlights activity (=meaningful personal growth towards my personal ideals of who I could become), while still allowing actions generated from outer productivity and self-expression to be added to C1. C2 has become more inner focus on habits and attitudes to contemplate and/or visualise.
May 26, 2011 at 22:12 |
michael
michael
As an aside... I've been using a modified version of DWM with The Hit List for over a month.
Nice to be back.