When we are facing a challenge or have a goal that we intend to accomplish, we are used to asking ourselves the questions: “What do I want to achieve?” and “How can I do that?”. But there is one question that we rarely ask ourselves, and that is “Who do I need to become in order to achieve this?”
So often we think that by changing our circumstances we can change ourselves,but the truth is the other way round: if we change ourselves the circumstances will follow. Otherwise we may succeed in changing the circumstances, only to find that we taken our old self with us.
Whenever you catch yourself saying “if only….” then it is a pretty good indicator that you are blaming the circumstances rather than working on yourself. It doesn’t matter what it is:
“If only I’d had a decent education”
“If only my boss appreciated my work”
“If only I was married/single”
“If only I had known this when I was younger”
“If only I could get lucky”
Let’s take as an example that you have a desire to set up your own company. Ask yourself the question “Who would I need to be to achieve this?”
List the qualities you think you would need, for example: persistence, well-organized, persuasive, etc. etc.
Now act as though you were that person. Use the power of “I am” statements to re-educate yourself about your own qualities. “I am persistent”. “I am well-organized”, “I am persuasive”.