Staying in Pull Mode
Monday, June 6, 2011 at 21:20 For those who set out on the “Dreams” path of Pull Mode (to be pulled towards one’s vision) the biggest difficulty is to keep from falling into Drift Mode.
The difficulty is so great because Pull Mode and Drift Mode appear superficially similar. In both we do what we feel like doing. The difference is that in Pull Mode our feelings are leading us towards our vision. while in Drift Mode our feelings are leading us nowhere in particular.
It’s therefore very important to be able to tell when one is in Drift Mode and to know how to get back into Pull Mode.
Here’s an extract from one of my own Dialogues which deals with this question:
Q. I’m feeling a bit discouraged today because i seem to have spent most of today so far in Drift Mode.
A. Do you have any ideas as to why that might be?
Q. I don’t know. I guess the difference is the vision, but how do I keep my eye on the vision?
A. Your aim is to follow your feelings. What happens to your feelings in Drift Mode?
Q. I feel frustrated, aimless, sometimes bored as well.
A. So you don’t feel good?
Q. No. I know what you’re getting at. I should use a question like “How Good Do You Feel?” That would be a good way to identify when I’m in Drift Mode, wouldn’t it?
A. I think so. Are there any other ways that you can think of?
Q. Yes, I think Drift Mode brings resistance. So maybe the “What am I resisting?” would work too. Is there anything else?
A. Maybe you could identify those negative emotions directly.
Q. On the other hand, perhaps I am just not very good at doing what I feel like when I feel like it. Do you think that one solution might simply be to accept my feelings?
A. So, “It’s fine that I’m feeling frustrated/aimless/bored. I’ll let it lift when it feels like doing so”?
Q. Yes, that goes with the basic Pull Mode attitude: “I’ll do it when I feel like doing it and not before”.
A. I think you want to keep away from having to give answers to questions like “What am I resisting?” as far as Pull Mode is concerned. The whole idea is to have freedom.
Q. What about a question I don’t actually have to give an answer to like “Is this what I want to be doing?” All I have to do is let my behaviour modify itself in response to the question.
A. I like the sound of that. Try it out - that’s the only way to find out if it works.
Q. Or would it be better as “Is this what I feel like doing?”
A. There’s only one way to find out, but my money is on “want” rather than “feel”. It lifts you up above your feelings to the vision. That’s my theory, but it’s only a theory as yet.
Reader Comments (16)
I like the idea of asking myself how good I feel doing something, since that wonderful flow state that is my ideal of how I want to be working all the time, invariably comes with feelings of joy and energy.
Of course, none of this addresses the current central fact of my life - the big elephant in the room - which is my fundamental dissatisfaction with my current job situation, and the very real and practical need to keep it going for another year or so. It underscores the idea that I have been operating under for a very long time that there are simply things that I have to do, but don't want to do or get much joy out of doing, and I just need to suck it up and deal. Not really sure how to engage "pull mode" in my life when "push" is my current reality.
<< It underscores the idea that I have been operating under for a very long time that there are simply things that I have to do, but don't want to do or get much joy out of doing, and I just need to suck it up and deal. >>
Usually the answer to this is to make it part of one's wider vision. So for instance keeping your current job going for another year is part of the process of achieving what you want to come next. Or another example, doing the housework is part of the process of having a well-ordered life, which is an essential part of your vision.
See the discussion at http://www.markforster.net/forum/post/1514144
<<It’s therefore very important to be able to tell when one is in Drift Mode and to know how to get back into Pull Mode.>>
I never thought about this. Perhaps that's because - when I'm not seeing clients - I'm often in drift mode. Though one could say that surfing the internet has a Pull element to it i.e. "I want to do it".
<<A. Your aim is to follow your feelings. What happens to your feelings in Drift Mode?>>
Can you expand on this idea? The mindfulness folks will offer meditation or a random bell chime to bring consciousness back to the present moment. Either way, I'd imagine most of my day feels as if I'm following my feelings, when really I'm in drift mode.
<< Q. No. I know what you’re getting at. I should use a question like “How Good Do You Feel?” That would be a good way to identify when I’m in Drift Mode, wouldn’t it?
A. I think so. Are there any other ways that you can think of?>>
However there are many drift activities that would answer "How good do you feel" with "GREAT!" I'm not sure how that is a helpful question to distinguish between drift and pull.
Any clarity on these issues would be appreciated.
I believe "Pull" is intended to be understood as "pulled towards something in particular". Drift is "pulled towards nothing in particular", i.e. it's aimless. Many drift activities may have you feeling "great", but not entirely, because there's the accompanied distaste of drifting: "the water's fine, but we're not getting anywhere. I don't want to be stuck in this part of the sea forever." That distaste would not be present if the drifting were a temporary interlude sandwiched between times of forward motion.
Thank you! I've always just handled it by enduring, but I can see how making it an actual, intentional part of a larger plan could take a lot of the angst out of it. Somehow, cleaning doesn't bother me, because it allows me to create small islands of order and beauty, even if they only last a few minutes, so there's an element of immediate gratification to it that balances out the repetitiveness. Sticker charts and rewards also help. I'll have to see if I can apply the same principles to my job - I think I've just become so used to looking at it a certain way that I don't truly see it any more.
K
All of Mark's concepts are lovely, but I can't help but wonder if efficacy is severely compromised without Mark as a live coach.
The best question is "Is this what I want to be doing?"
You should NOT try to answer the question. Just asking it will subconsciously influence your mind to bring you back into Pull Mode. (That's assuming you have a Pull Mode vision to go back to of course).
It's remarkably effective.
<< How did this ["Is this what I want to be doing?"] work out? >>
Like "How good am I feeling?" it's become so instinctual in my life that I hardly notice I'm asking it.
Not as such, no.
<< should Q and A be the other way around? >>
Good point! Perhaps something else might have been better than Q and A, but basically Q represents the me who is trying to find the answer and A. represents another part of myself which is encouraging me to probe more deeply - and sometimes that is in the form of a question.
In the end it is Q who has to find the answers while A encourages him to do so by a mixture of questions and statements.