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« "Dreams" Set-Up With Evernote | Main | "How To Make Your Dreams Come True" »
Monday
Jun062011

Staying in Pull Mode

For those who set out on the “Dreams” path of Pull Mode (to be pulled towards one’s vision) the biggest difficulty is to keep from falling into Drift Mode.

The difficulty is so great because Pull Mode and Drift Mode appear superficially similar. In both we do what we feel like doing. The difference is that in Pull Mode our feelings are leading us towards our vision. while in Drift Mode our feelings are leading us nowhere in particular.

It’s therefore very important to be able to tell when one is in Drift Mode and to know how to get back into Pull Mode.

Here’s an extract from one of my own Dialogues which deals with this question:

Q. I’m feeling a bit discouraged today because i seem to have spent most of today so far in Drift Mode.

A. Do you have any ideas as to why that might be?

Q. I don’t know. I guess the difference is the vision, but how do I keep my eye on the vision?

A. Your aim is to follow your feelings. What happens to your feelings in Drift Mode?

Q. I feel frustrated, aimless, sometimes bored as well.

A. So you don’t feel good?

Q. No. I know what you’re getting at. I should use a question like “How Good Do You Feel?” That would be a good way to identify when I’m in Drift Mode, wouldn’t it?

A. I think so. Are there any other ways that you can think of?

Q. Yes, I think Drift Mode brings resistance. So maybe the “What am I resisting?” would work too. Is there anything else?

A. Maybe you could identify those negative emotions directly.

Q. On the other hand, perhaps I am just not very good at doing what I feel like when I feel like it. Do you think that one solution might simply be to accept my feelings?

A. So, “It’s fine that I’m feeling frustrated/aimless/bored. I’ll let it lift when it feels like doing so”?

Q. Yes, that goes with the basic Pull Mode attitude: “I’ll do it when I feel like doing it and not before”.

A. I think you want to keep away from having to give answers to questions like “What am I resisting?” as far as Pull Mode is concerned. The whole idea is to have freedom.

Q. What about a question I don’t actually have to give an answer to like “Is this what I want to be doing?” All I have to do is let my behaviour modify itself in response to the question.

A. I like the sound of that. Try it out - that’s the only way to find out if it works.

Q. Or would it be better as “Is this what I feel like doing?”

A. There’s only one way to find out, but my money is on “want” rather than “feel”. It lifts you up above your feelings to the vision. That’s my theory, but it’s only a theory as yet.

Reader Comments (10)

It's interesting to me that you framed resistance as the result of, rather than the cause of, drift mode. I know for myself that when I am suddenly aimless or "bored," it's usually resistance to whatever I think I should be doing next. Which, of course, implies push rather than pull, but also happens when I am superficially excited about something, and then realize that there are complexities that I either cannot address, or don't want to address.

I like the idea of asking myself how good I feel doing something, since that wonderful flow state that is my ideal of how I want to be working all the time, invariably comes with feelings of joy and energy.

Of course, none of this addresses the current central fact of my life - the big elephant in the room - which is my fundamental dissatisfaction with my current job situation, and the very real and practical need to keep it going for another year or so. It underscores the idea that I have been operating under for a very long time that there are simply things that I have to do, but don't want to do or get much joy out of doing, and I just need to suck it up and deal. Not really sure how to engage "pull mode" in my life when "push" is my current reality.
June 6, 2011 at 22:13 | Unregistered CommenterKalieris
I want to say that having bought and read the 2 other books (and recommended them fanatically to others), it is the Dreams book that is finally creating a frictionless, intuitive system for me. I've been working with the book for 3 days now and yes, the main problem is the Drift/Pull distinction. What I've been doing in response to this problem is vividly conjuring up the vision of the future, even just the room where the vision will take place, or a concrete vision (the published book). Immediately it feels as if my blood pressure has dropped and I effortlessly see what it is I want to do next. Perhaps if Push is fear-based then Pull is confidence-based. Therefore in Push, judgement is clouded - too much adrenalin (from guilt, worry) to think clearly. Whereas the calm of Pull mode makes extraneous distractions fall away and what should happen becomes crystal clear. But how can I combine Dreams with SuperFocus? Is SF in fact (for me, anyway) very much fear-based? SF didn't work for me - continually panicked by the list of what wasn't done. So - for me anyway - should I just use SF as a place to organize information?? Thanks!
June 6, 2011 at 22:18 | Unregistered CommenterLucia
Kalieris:

<< It underscores the idea that I have been operating under for a very long time that there are simply things that I have to do, but don't want to do or get much joy out of doing, and I just need to suck it up and deal. >>

Usually the answer to this is to make it part of one's wider vision. So for instance keeping your current job going for another year is part of the process of achieving what you want to come next. Or another example, doing the housework is part of the process of having a well-ordered life, which is an essential part of your vision.
June 6, 2011 at 23:23 | Registered CommenterMark Forster
Lucia:

See the discussion at http://www.markforster.net/forum/post/1514144
June 6, 2011 at 23:24 | Registered CommenterMark Forster
Some comments/questions:

<<It’s therefore very important to be able to tell when one is in Drift Mode and to know how to get back into Pull Mode.>>

I never thought about this. Perhaps that's because - when I'm not seeing clients - I'm often in drift mode. Though one could say that surfing the internet has a Pull element to it i.e. "I want to do it".

<<A. Your aim is to follow your feelings. What happens to your feelings in Drift Mode?>>

Can you expand on this idea? The mindfulness folks will offer meditation or a random bell chime to bring consciousness back to the present moment. Either way, I'd imagine most of my day feels as if I'm following my feelings, when really I'm in drift mode.

<< Q. No. I know what you’re getting at. I should use a question like “How Good Do You Feel?” That would be a good way to identify when I’m in Drift Mode, wouldn’t it?
A. I think so. Are there any other ways that you can think of?>>

However there are many drift activities that would answer "How good do you feel" with "GREAT!" I'm not sure how that is a helpful question to distinguish between drift and pull.

Any clarity on these issues would be appreciated.
June 7, 2011 at 14:39 | Registered Commenteravrum
I believe this is why the better question was "Is this what I want to be doing?", and that would be answered partially considering your vision of a better future.

I believe "Pull" is intended to be understood as "pulled towards something in particular". Drift is "pulled towards nothing in particular", i.e. it's aimless. Many drift activities may have you feeling "great", but not entirely, because there's the accompanied distaste of drifting: "the water's fine, but we're not getting anywhere. I don't want to be stuck in this part of the sea forever." That distaste would not be present if the drifting were a temporary interlude sandwiched between times of forward motion.
June 7, 2011 at 15:25 | Registered CommenterAlan Baljeu
Mark,

Thank you! I've always just handled it by enduring, but I can see how making it an actual, intentional part of a larger plan could take a lot of the angst out of it. Somehow, cleaning doesn't bother me, because it allows me to create small islands of order and beauty, even if they only last a few minutes, so there's an element of immediate gratification to it that balances out the repetitiveness. Sticker charts and rewards also help. I'll have to see if I can apply the same principles to my job - I think I've just become so used to looking at it a certain way that I don't truly see it any more.

K
June 7, 2011 at 15:44 | Unregistered CommenterKalieris
Alan - this is where most self-help/psychology fail. As Marie-Louise von Franz stated: "It is difficult to analyze your own dreams because you can't see your own ass".

All of Mark's concepts are lovely, but I can't help but wonder if efficacy is severely compromised without Mark as a live coach.
June 7, 2011 at 16:15 | Registered Commenteravrum
Allan, Avrum and all:

The best question is "Is this what I want to be doing?"

You should NOT try to answer the question. Just asking it will subconsciously influence your mind to bring you back into Pull Mode. (That's assuming you have a Pull Mode vision to go back to of course).

It's remarkably effective.
June 7, 2011 at 16:43 | Registered CommenterMark Forster
Mark - helpful. Thanks.
June 7, 2011 at 17:40 | Registered Commenteravrum

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