Saturday
Jan302021
Update on the New Question
Saturday, January 30, 2021 at 6:58 I’ve been hard at work experimenting with the best ways to use the New Question, and I want to share my findings - with the proviso that this is what works for me so far. You may find other ways are better for you.
There are two ways in which I am using the Question at the moment with a great degree of success:
- As the question in FVP, where it is used in the form “What am I resisting not doing more than x?” My experience using it this way is that it is best to scan fast, and dot tasks only when I get a strong “hit”. This is the best way when I am in my office sitting at my desk tackling a large amount of work.
- As a stand alone question in the form “What am I resisting not doing?” This is faster and more flexible, but difficult to keep up for an extended period of time. So I find it is best for:
- Times when I am away from my desk and my office
- Informal occasions
- Breaking down a selected task or project into small actions
- Selecting routes when I am walking in the countryside.
- Any occasion when I just need to make up my mind what to do next.
I’ve decided to modify the Lent Challenge so that entrants can use the Question with any system or systems. The idea will be to report back on your experiences both as you go along and at the end of the Challenge.
Reader Comments (32)
Then again I don't do any Morning Pages and if I did I'd do it separately.
I personally review my journals weekly and seasonally or so for content and index in the front a la Tim Ferriss: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFdR8w_R1HA
A while back a member named Gerry posted about his Ultra Simple Guide to Time Management. I can't find that guide here, only links to sites that have been discontinued. The short of it I think was, you take meeting notes for example, and have a simple margin code (E.g., write a '+' ) to indicate things that require action. You work those items highlighted in the margin. Gerry didn't recommend fancy ways of doing those marginalia, but you probably could pull off FVP using your appropriately marked up journal, which will include these margin notes, odd tasks you write in yourself, and references to page numbers or whatever.
If you google "bujo" you will find so much. Here's a link to the original video:
http://youtu.be/fm15cmYU0IM
Rapid Logging is a common component; you write things as you think of them. Daily reflection is part of the official version, but isn't popular. In both modes, you write things down as you think of them, and add codes (bullets) in the margin so you can find them when needed. https://bulletjournal.com/pages/learn
Many people use a more complex set of bullets, so it's easier to find things when needed, eg project ideas, health, shopping, meeting. "Migration" is moving things to other lists, eg shopping, do in July, do Today, project notes, reading log.
It works with long list systems (although you need to redefine "page" for AF1 since it starts with so few on each page). I usually collect all open tasks every month or three, so I can see them in one place.
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It's good to see everyone again.
"How do I feel about the consequences of not doing this?" feels right to me.
I'd add a time frame. "How do I feel about the (possible) consequences of not doing this now / today / this week / month / year / lifetime?" I need to expand "possible" sometimes. Maybe the possibility of wonderful results is hidden behind the fear of something not going as well.
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I really like "What would I regret not having done?” or "Will I regret not having done this?"
<< while I can ordinarily act spontaneously with some success, trying to do so while asking this "What am I resisting not doing" lead me to inaction. Nothing came to mind, and so I didn't not do anything. >>
I sometimes have the same happen. But I find that recollecting myself and asking the question a second time often works.
<< "How do I feel about the consequences of not doing this?" >>
The problem with this question is that you have to have a "this" to ask the question about.
"What am I resisting not doing" on the other hand doesn't, because it zeroes in on the feelings of resistance which you are experiencing.
- Don't leave the place in a mess
- Don't dawdle on the way home
- Don't make your little sister cry
- Don't leave your homework until the last minute
etc etc etc
I wasn't aiming the question at children at all. I was trying to clarify what "resisting not doing" means, as many people have claimed that the concept is difficult to understand.
Glad to see that this question is still on your radar.
I used "What am I resisting not doing?" (with no list) during Lent Challenge. In some ways, this wasn't a success. The question stressed me out in that I would ask it too often (quasi-obsessively). Maybe it was also a little stressful in that it really got me working and kicked my butt! But in other ways, the question was a wild success: I finished a major written project ahead of deadline, etc. Something to remember, since I've been searching for ways to speed my pace of work.
Dreams has been working very nicely for me and I don't want to stop that. But if some reason I need to switch things up in the future, I think "What am I resisting not doing?" would be worth a second try.
I haven't seen much discussion of the question recently, but, imo, it's a powerful idea. Perhaps some found the wording counterintuitive, but I found no way to improve on it. Maybe you will find a revised wording. But, for me, "What am I resisting not doing?" has a certain magic.
Anyway, just some user feedback for what it's worth (two cents).
<< Maybe you will find a revised wording. >>
Maybe I will, but I took a long time to arrive at that wording and it's still the best I can think of!
I think a simpler conception might simply be "Heed your conscience". That certainly applies to the examples for children, though again that phrase it might not be understood by the very young. The problem with using this phrase is it tends to direct against certain actions rather than towards certain actions, but if taken with a sense of "What ought I do now", you might not know if you asked that directly, but if you keep a sensitive spirit and then turn to watch TV, the Ought may just tap on your shoulder.
My experience as the father of three children is that "Heed your conscience" would be considerably less effective than "Don't leave the place in a mess", etc.
I don't personally find "what do I not want not done?" at all difficult to understand.
Did you never have said to you as a child "I don't want to come home and find that you haven't tidied up your mess"? Did you as a child have any difficulty understanding the meaning?
My own experience using "What am I resisting not doing?" is described in my post above (December 9, 2021) on this thread. I used it as a stand-alone question with no list.
As I said, the question was in some ways a wild success but it was tricky to implement in that one might ask it "quasi-obsessively."
It occurred to me to ask a point of clarification. I don't believe you discussed this in your original post: With this question, what is the endgame? Is the idea that you would ask the question to choose all of your actions (and spur your work) for a relatively short period of time (say, weeks-months), THEN you would be at the point where you have subconsciously internalized the question and no longer ask it? At this stage, you are in tune with you own innate resistance to NOT doing things and act accordingly? A bit like entering pull mode in the Dreams? (Though perhaps "What am I resisting not doing?" might feel more like push!)
I ask because it seems to me that one disadvantage of a stand-alone question is the difficulty of needing to continually ask it, which might take up a lot of mental energy compared to a system like, say, Simple Scanning. And yet, I think "What am I resisting not doing?" is a powerful and special idea. It might hit at something that is not quite captured in your other systems. In short, I found it insightful--even if it may be tricky to implement.
I suppose the above commentary could apply (mutatis mutandis) to any other stand-alone question (e.g. "What am I resisting?" from GED).
Say no to everything. If saying no to anything causes anguish, do that.
I suppose in such cases the answer is to deliberately (i.e. with deliberation) engage the question of your motivations. Rather than let your internal conflict brew, ponder the issue until you either clearly don’t resist doing it, or no longer resist not doing it. Or more simply, you want to do it, and do, or you don’t want it done and don’t.
<< What if I also resist doing it?>>
This would be normal. As I understood it, Mark's whole insight was that we resist doing something AND resist not doing that thing at the same time. E.g. Writing a report: You resist doing it because it sucks and it's hard work. But you resist not doing it as well. Inside you there's strong resistance to letting it drag out, having it hang over your head, or to other negative consequences of the report not getting done:
http://markforster.squarespace.com/blog/2021/1/19/a-new-question-examples.html
As I interpret it, the question is an attempt to short-circuit the resistance we feel to doing something by getting us to focus instead on the resistance we feel to not doing it. In my experience, this resistance to not doing is a powerful motive force if untapped. I recall that Mark said the key word in the question is "resisting"--"What am I RESISTING not doing?"--and I have found that emphasis to work the best.
I still find the question tough to implement though (as mentioned above). I suspect it might be too demanding or stressful to use repeatedly or regularly throughout one's life.
<< What if the thing I resist not doing is “eat another donut” or “steal that thing”? These are things I should ultimately never do, so “what am I resisting not doing” is not a sufficient decider. >>
I think most people (in most circumstances) will not feel resistance to NOT stealing something (in plain English: they won't feel compelled to steal). Whether the question would help a kleptomaniac, etc. I'll leave aside.
As for "eat another donut"... After my trial of Mark's question (last Lent Challenge) I observed:
<< sometimes I would "resist not doing" some things that were merely trivial and nagging even though they could be left undone. Similarly with fun things: sometimes, I felt palpable resistance to not doing them even though the negative consequences wouldn't be so bad. >>
I think this applies to "eat another donut,"--you have a point. But I don't see how this is different than any other system. All of us have done ill-advised things from time to time using a system like Simple Scanning. That doesn't invalidate a system. Presumably, we "live and learn"--and make better choices in the future (once we overcome indigestion from the donut). Now, if a system is getting in the way of us making good choices that is a problem. But I'm not sure that's the case here.
<< With this question, what is the endgame? >>
The question can be used in numerous ways, but basically whenever you could say to yourself "What should I do next?" you can use "What am I resisting not doing?" instead.
And it has the same endgame as "What should I do next?".
<< Say no to everything. If saying no to anything causes anguish, do that. >>
I've just said to myself "What am I resisting not doing?" and the answer is "Answer Alan's comment". The reason it is the answer is because I like to answer all comments which I feel I've got something to add to, and therefore feel some small resistance to not answering them.
But if I had said to myself "I'm not going to answer any comments unless it would cause me mental anguish not to", you wouldn't be getting any answers ever!
<< What if the thing I resist not doing is “eat another donut” or “steal that thing”? >>
Well, if I were being tempted to eat another donut or to steal something and I asked "What am I resisting not doing?" my answer would be "Leave it be!".
<< With this question, what is the endgame? >>
Mark Forster:
<< The question can be used in numerous ways, but basically whenever you could say to yourself "What should I do next?" you can use "What am I resisting not doing?" instead.
And it has the same endgame as "What should I do next?". >>
That does answer my question.
But, I guess, the thing is: We don't normally (consciously) ask ourselves "What should I do next?" We just move from one action to the next. That's why (I was thinking) it might be good if one could tap into one's resistance to not doing things without actually having to ask the question... Kind of like in "standing out" one doesn't actually ask "What do I feel like doing now?"; you just pick a task. Or in the same way No-Question FVP might be easier than asking "What do I want to do more than X?" every time. Or as in "Dreams," where one can stop the "What's better?" list after a while because "everything is better": the unconscious is already set in motion toward one's vision. Come to think of it, even your "Simplest Form of No-List" seems relevant here. Writing the next thing before doing it seems easier than asking yourself "What am I going to do next?"
Anyway, that's where I was going with speculating about an "endgame" for the question "What am I resisting not doing?" I was thinking about moving beyond the question. It's possible I got carried away with speculation. Or maybe you never intended the question to be a full "system" in itself; just something you ask yourself situationally. I don't know.
Sorry if any of my thoughts are half-baked. I share them only in case they spark your own thinking in some way. Best wishes.
<< I still can't understand how it applies to a long list. >>
Imagine that this is the beginning of a long list:
Email
Charge Phone
Tidy Desk
Write Meeting Minutes
etc.
When you ask the question "What am I resisting doing?", you are measuring the amount of resistance you feel towards doing each one of the items.
If you are like me, the answer would probably be "Write Meeting Minutes". It's much harder and more boring work than any of the others because it requires deciphering hastily written notes, and getting it all into a logical sequence, while paying attention to finicky details..
Now let's look what happens if you instead ask "What am I resisting not doing?"
The answer is probably going to be the same - "Write Meeting Minutes" - but the reasons are going to be entirely different. If you don't do the task now, it will hang over you all day, you may be late with it, you may have emergencies during the day which will prevent you getting done.You may have to rush it so you miss important points. And if you don't do it quickly it gives a bad impression.
So your motivation is entirely diffferent:
1) You don't want to do it because you are resisting the hard work involved.
2) You do want to do it because you are resisting having it hanging over you all day, with the danger you might not get it done in time, creating a bad impression.
"What am I resisting doing?" therefore concentrates on the negative consequences of doing it, i.e. Hard boring work.
"What am I resisting not doing?" concentrates on the positive consequences of doing it, i.e. Getting it out of the way as quickly as possible and creating a good impression.
<< For example I'm considering quitting a job. I list the pros and the cons of quitting the job. >>
The question "What am I resisting not doing?" is not intended for this sort of major decision. It is for deciding what action to do next.